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Problem O'ing again....


KG

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Had this happen when we first started dating. I can go 2 hours, but can't finish. After 3 months, I was able to, just took time and patience, being with someone new. But we worked through it.

 

This weekend, we made love 3 times, and once again, I can't come. I'm on A/D's, but low dose, so I don't think that's it. She is a very generous lover, tries hard to get me there, but it's frustrating both of us.

 

Also, just had my physical, everything is OK with my health. Does anyone have any ideas?

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Is there anything different from the time you were able to do it?

Oh, and if you don't mind me asking, why focusing on you not being able to orgasm this weekend. If it happens, cool, and if not also cool. Maybe it's different with us girls, but for me my orgasm doesn't have to even happen every single time I have sex. Sometimes I have sex and just enjoy having sex without really wanting to orgasm, if that makes sense. If this happened just this weekend after a period when everything was fine, I wouldn't stress over it. There is no rules how a good sex should look like.

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Is there anything different from the time you were able to do it?

Oh, and if you don't mind me asking, why focusing on you not being able to orgasm this weekend. If it happens, cool, and if not also cool. Maybe it's different with us girls, but for me my orgasm doesn't have to even happen every single time I have sex. Sometimes I have sex and just enjoy having sex without really wanting to orgasm, if that makes sense. IF this happened just this weekend after a period of everything was fine, I wouldn't stress over it.

 

Nothing different...she usually finishes me off with oral, which worked fine for weeks. And I understand it's OK not to finish, but 3 times? She and I both feel frustrated after.

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Hmmm well my only other guess is that despite your partner being a generous lover it's possible that at a subconcious level your sex activity has become a little plain. The body enjoys change. Maybe you should try something a little more unusal than your regular episode. Dressing up, tell her a fantasy you have just something to get you back on the horse.

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Maybe if you don't try so hard KG... you are probably going into the bedroom at the moment with the knowledge you may not climax, this will cause you more stress.

 

If you are having sex regularly, maybe cut it back just a tad... Give yourself time to recover.

 

Christina

 

Nothing different...she usually finishes me off with oral, which worked fine for weeks. And I understand it's OK not to finish, but 3 times? She and I both feel frustrated after.
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If you are having sex regularly, maybe cut it back just a tad... Give yourself time to recover.
That's a good point, the first one may have been because of any one of a number of reasons, the following two could have been fatigue.
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And I understand it's OK not to finish, but 3 times? She and I both feel frustrated after.

 

maybe you concentrate too much on orgasming. thats what i was saying - it's like that's always on your mind. Maybe you are creatng a pressure for yourself.

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maybe you concentrate too much on orgasming. thats what i was saying - it's like that's always on your mind. Maybe you are creatng a pressure for yourself.

 

I try not to think of it, but it may well be. But it's tough not to think about, when she's trying so hard to get me there.

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Yeah. Well at least you are both hard working and ambitious ;-) You remind me of my bf. He has the same personality and attitude when it comes to such matters lol He would be worried in the same extent as you are and he wouldn't quit trying - even several times in a row just to be sure he'll orgasm. heh, once he was too tired to have a boner when he tried to masturbate (stress, lack of sleep, lack of money) and for straight 3 days he was staring at his penis horrified that there must be something wrong with it. Such crap happens. The lady shouldn't get frustrated. Sex is not about trying hard. Just go with the flow and who cares. If you're trying hard it's like having a second job. Not exciting at all. I seriously think there is nothing wrong with you. Have you tried being physically active - it's natural source of endorphin and a great way of relaxing.

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ANY amount can do it. It varies person to person. Even with the newest wave of SNRI's like Effexor and Cymbalta, there is a very high percentage of men who may not experience full ED, but will have delayed erection and delayed ejaculation.

 

No erection problems....just feel numb down there. I've read where dehydration can cause this, so I've upped my intake considerably. I wish I could figure this out....blue b@lls are no fun.

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Update. I hope this helps anyone else going through this.

 

My son was away at Scout camp this weekend, so we had time and were alone.

 

We spent a lot of time talking this out. I have stayed hydrated all week, cut down on porn and masturbating. Stayed on my meds though.

What worked was her asking me to show her how " I do it."

 

Weird, but, OK...??? She replicated, and I able to finish with a BJ.

 

So we think we've broken through, she was being too gentle, and was afraid of hurting me. Must be my age, or my grip, but I need a tighter fit down there.

 

YYAYY...we fixed it.

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When you do "self-service", perhaps you go too fast and/or too hard, providing more stimulation than you could get from sex. Once you get used to getting there with tons of stimulation, it's extremely difficult to reach climax during sex.

If this is the problem, you'll just have to "relearn" how to get there with less stimulation.

 

Best wishes!

 

Edit: sorry, I didn't read about your breakthrough. I hope it works out for you!

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When you do "self-service", perhaps you go too fast and/or too hard, providing more stimulation than you could get from sex. Once you get used to getting there with tons of stimulation, it's extremely difficult to reach climax during sex.

If this is the problem, you'll just have to "relearn" how to get there with less stimulation.

 

Best wishes!

 

Edit: sorry, I didn't read about your breakthrough. I hope it works out for you!

 

Your right...self service needs to be gentler, and more less hard. I need to get back to normal. Thanks!

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I couldn't reach the big o yesterday for the first time. This is strange because I vary from not lasting too long to being moderate. I made love to my partner for 1.5-2 hours trying various things, but I never came. It didn't bother me too much because I stayed up the whole time and it was an enjoyable change, but I still would have liked to finish properly. At least I made her cum multiple times. A lot more than usual. I have been taking cold and flue tablets for the last two days, so maybe that had something to do with it.

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I couldn't reach the big o yesterday for the first time. This is strange because I vary from not lasting too long to being moderate. I made love to my partner for 1.5-2 hours trying various things, but I never came. It didn't bother me too much because I stayed up the whole time and it was an enjoyable change, but I still would have liked to finish properly. At least I made her cum multiple times. A lot more than usual. I have been taking cold and flue tablets for the last two days, so maybe that had something to do with it.

 

I'm finding out meds have a big influence. A lot of guys complain about finishing too fast, but do some research, this problem affects a lot of people.

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