We texted for six hours today, he STILL hasn't asked me out!

[LonelyMoondancer]

So A texted me today asking if I'd be watching the big hockey game, and I told him I wanted to but couldn't because my parents were visiting today, but that he could just keep me updated with a wink. So he said to have fun and kept updating me. We ended up texting back and forth about the game for hours, and then texting about the student organization we volunteer for. We didn't talk about anything personal but we were consistently texting each other. Which leads me to assume he wasn't texting any of the other friends we have in common all evening (we met each other and a bunch of other people from the organization three weeks ago). Some of the texts were flirty maybe, like I told him I'd hint to our group leader about some work I've been doing and he said "haha sneaky girl" and we had other cute texts.

He spent all that time conversing with me... he's somewhat interested right? All this time we've known each other I've been sure of it. But he could have changed the subject or asked to hang out during this text conversation. To be fair we're never really alone in person, so there's never a good chance to ask to hang out. I'd rather hint in person than ask through a text. I feel like 3 weeks without plans is a long time, or is that not unreasonable? Is it okay to ask to hang out/hint for him to ask me out through texts? And then again why won't he just ask me himself? He's not a shy person. He's very social and charming and friendly. He just won't ask me out. I really don't get it.

[k4ppa]

I don't get it. Why can't you?

 

Just say: "Hey it's been fun talking to you, but I have to go. Want to hang out on *this day*?"

 

Or instead of hanging out, maybe a grab a coffee, go to an event? Whatever you want.

[pinkrobot]

Are you sure he's interested in you romantically?

 

This happened with me and a guy once...he'd text me every couple of days and we'd have conversations that lasted for a couple of hours, but he'd never ask me out and I assumed I was imagining his interest in me, so I moved on.. come to find out, he was super shy when it comes to dating and he was always afraid to ask me out.

 

So...why don't you ask him out?

[annie24]

How about, "My thumbs hurt from texting, wanna grab a margarita with me?"

[Keyman]

What if he is wondering exactly the same thing? While she seems interested in chatting, is she interested in going out. I won't ask because I'm not sure if she'll say yes and if she says no, I'd feel weird hanging out with our friends etc etc. One of you has to brooch the subject, and like the others have said, why can't you?

[LonelyMoondancer]

I definitely can. I mean I'd rather not because like a lot of people I'm afraid of rejection, but I'll do it if I don't think he'll ask, I just need to work up the nerve. And I'm just wondering why he hasn't asked himself. He's really not a shy person overall. And I really do think he's interested. He bought me drinks when we went to a party the weekend we met and we're always all touchy and smiley. I guess I'm finding it hard to believe someone so confident and all is shy with little old me I'm seeing him Saturday at a group interview thing, I don't know if I should hold out in case we have alone time or just text him. He actually texted me this morning since I was the last to text last night So maybe I could ask if he's going to this session tomorrow... I guess I kind of know I'm going to have to be the one to ask but it bugs me that he won't lol.

[oldenoughtoknow]

Some guys that appear "confident and all," can still be really shy when asking someone out. I really doubt he would be spending this much time texting you if he weren't interested in something more than friendship. He probably just needs a little more obvious sign of interest and a medium sized nudge. Any of the suggestions above will work.

[LonelyMoondancer]

I guess the one thing holding me back is the possibility that he's holding back for some reason other than shyness. He never said he was in a relationship, but he never said he wasn't although I really doubt it somehow. Maybe he was burned in the past? Or doesn't even want to take it further than flirting? It seems like I've no choice but to ask through texts. I saw him last night and we sat together at a group meeting and it was great, and we talked and texted more, but it's almost always about organization-related stuff.

I'm a shy person so when I like a guy I try not to show it out of fear. With A I totally show it. And he shows it too, but won't make a proper move. I invited him to a party and am waiting on a response. I guess more than the fear of confronting him it bothers me that he won't first.

[annie24]

I don't really see the harm in suggesting the two of you get drinks or do whatever together. My only caveat is if you ask him out and he says yes, and you have a nice time, I'd let him be the one to ask you out next.

[LonelyMoondancer]

Well, I'm seeing him on Saturday and he invited me to a group dinner/get together with people in his group. I want to wait until the party I invited him to, it's always easier when we're buying each other drinks and whatnot. If not I'll have to suck it up and suggest something through texts since it's our main mode of communication between meetings when we actually see each other. Thanks for the suggestions

[Jayauntae F.]

You need to take the bull by the horns and ask him out. That's all there is to it, put yourself out there sometimes you win sometimes you lose

[LonelyMoondancer]

Well I hung out with him! Well him and his housemates, but me and him spent like an hour talking at his house. He invited me to his place and told me at the end he had a lot of fun, so I invited him to the party, and he said he'll come and hugged me goodbye. And I guess we'll talk more at the party and we've been talking online too. So far so good! I may as well be more open now, he's clearly more comfortable than before. Thanks guys

[annie24]

sounds good!!! good luck!