infamous Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 been broken up for nearly 4 months been lc since then one week into nc she started seeing someone right after the break up she contacts me i said y are you contacting me she just said she felt like something was wrong * * * we had a long convo and she with someone now apparently overweight but he treats her alot better than i did apparently i told her nc one week ago she said i still have feelings for you and then came " i love u but im not in love with " i dont know wat to makie of this earlier 2day i said keep in touch but then i thought no and said i told her i dont think with should have contact im theres no inbetween either we are together or theres nothing she cant be with this guy and call me when she feels like it or wants some attention Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 She sounds confused. Go back to NC and don't contact her. Ignore her if she tries and reach out. Link to comment
infamous Posted March 1, 2010 Author Share Posted March 1, 2010 i thought about it and before i said keep in touch but i just called her and said i dont think we should have any contact because your with someone else and theres no in between for me either we are together or theres nothing she got abit angry and said dont call msg or anything to say sorry thats it i said ok Link to comment
In the Dark Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 Does she have a reason to believe you would harm yourself or maybe even try to kill yourself? Can you recall what you did which made her unhappy enough to dump you? What does stating he is overweight got to do with anything? What is she trying to say..."He is fat and turns me off a bit physically but still he's treats me better than you?" The "I love you but not in love with you saying is BS." If you love someone you won't hurt them and carry on hurting them after saying anything related to loving them. Hurting someone is not loving someone. I don't know why you carried out a long conversation with her. She is with someone else. Link to comment
Lastchallenge Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 Infamous... Let her enjoy her misery living well is the best revenge Link to comment
infamous Posted March 1, 2010 Author Share Posted March 1, 2010 Does she have a reason to believe you would harm yourself or maybe even try to kill yourself? Can you recall what you did which made her unhappy enough to dump you? What does stating he is overweight got to do with anything? What is she trying to say..."He is fat and turns me off a bit physically but still he's treats me better than you?" The "I love you but not in love with you saying is BS." If you love someone you won't hurt them and carry on hurting them after saying anything related to loving them. Hurting someone is not loving someone. I don't know why you carried out a long conversation with her. She is with someone else. do you think i was right to say what i said ? im not going to harm myself its like she wants the best of both worlds doesnt want to see me but talk to me when she wants she told me he was overweight she said i was unstable and not sure what i wanted but it was because of pressure and stress from her to commit which made me like that when i spoke to her before i said keep in touch but then i thought and said i dnt want to be there whenever she wants me and as long as she with someone else im not going to be there for her Link to comment
infamous Posted March 1, 2010 Author Share Posted March 1, 2010 she got a little angry when i said no contact and then i felt like she tryed to end it on her terms by saying dont call me to say sorry or msg how would have me saying this made u feel ? have i destroyed any chance i had left ? Link to comment
infamous Posted March 1, 2010 Author Share Posted March 1, 2010 She sounds confused. Go back to NC and don't contact her. Ignore her if she tries and reach out. will ignoring her push her further away ? or make her want me more ? Link to comment
Lastchallenge Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 It's all psychological sooner or later she will realize this guy is just a fad.. Take those time to imporve yourself my friend Link to comment
infamous Posted March 1, 2010 Author Share Posted March 1, 2010 i just want to know why should would contact me ? i told her a week ago nc when i spoke to her 2day i said keep in touch but then i thought about it i dont want to play 2nd fiddle be there for her when she wants me i want her back so bad she knows that was i right to say this ? i soon as i said it she said the exact thing back to me as if it was a power struggle Link to comment
Lastchallenge Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 Infamous... Your overanalizing this and your searching for answers you might never find. The way I see this is she made a fool of herself and sooner or later ahe will see that... Then it's up to her to clean up this mess not u... Do u see the benefit?! Link to comment
Diagonal Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 There is a lot of emotion flying around at the moment and I think some space between you guys is the only way forward. Throwing down ultimatiums or pressuring your ex at this stage is not going to do anything but damage your chances of getting back together. Take the time apart to improve yourself and heal up, as your emotions are getting in the way. At this stage you just have to leave her to it. I know it's hard but it's the only way forward in my opinion. Link to comment
iBroken Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 Infamous... Your overanalizing this and your searching for answers you might never find. Agreed Dude, I know you are hurting but seriously, you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and wasting energy on this girl. The only thing she is doing here is trying to shift the power of control into her hands. You said "We shouldnt speak". Thats you in control. So she panics and feels the need to take it back by saying, DONT TALK TO ME. Dont worry about whether or not YOU ruined your chances with her. Think about how SHE ruined her chances with YOU. I know its hard, but forget this girl and her mind games. Ignore any contact from her from here on out. Move forward, heal, find love again in someone who wont pressure you into getting married, who will be okay with letting the relationship naturally progress. Because thats how its supposed to go. There arent timelines in love. Link to comment
shessofly Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 stay in nc even if she tries to reach out. don't respond. i wouldn't tell her about your nc intentions anymore either. she's just trying to stay in your head (she's there already but she doesn't need to know it!). Link to comment
infamous Posted March 1, 2010 Author Share Posted March 1, 2010 but i want her back should i ignore her ? Link to comment
infamous Posted March 2, 2010 Author Share Posted March 2, 2010 please any more advice would be appreciated Link to comment
infamous Posted March 2, 2010 Author Share Posted March 2, 2010 the funny thing is since we broke up she has said these feeling in this order i feel numb i still love u i still care for you i dont love you i dont feel anything for you i love you but im not in love with you Link to comment
Lastchallenge Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 She has those feelings because she is confused ... I have the same problem you have except she hangs out with me an then cries at the end if the night... U need to keep your head busy and stay focused! Set a goal and do everything u planers to do without her.... You can look back at this later and you'll laugh about it like so many people... I'm almost there myself... One day I feel gret and everyday that goes by I feel better Link to comment
infamous Posted March 2, 2010 Author Share Posted March 2, 2010 thanks for the advice Link to comment
infamous Posted March 2, 2010 Author Share Posted March 2, 2010 i spoke 2 her 2day and found out she is really sick her lungs and kidneys are not functioning properly i want to be there for her but i cant im really upset her outlook is 50/50 i cant believe this i want to be by her side but shes with someone else Link to comment
JBaker Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 Did I read that right and she may be dying? If that is the case, you need to be there for her anyway. Link to comment
infamous Posted March 2, 2010 Author Share Posted March 2, 2010 i dont think shes lying she hasnt worked for 2 weeks she hasnt got any energy she just stays in bed but maybe she has made it look worse that what it is not sure Link to comment
Lastchallenge Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 Oh.... This is a real tough one.. I think I would go visit her and wish her well as a friend not as a bf but as a friend... Link to comment
iBroken Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 Ya this is a tough call...... You clearly cannot let her go and focus alot of your time and energy on ways to get her back and how much you love her. Im not sure that going to see her will be good for you, especially if her new boyfriend is there. If you REALLY need to be there for her and want to see her, text her and tell her you would like to come visit her and ask if she would be okay with that. If so, see if you can arrange a time when the other guy wont be there. If you go, remember she is sick. DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP WITH HER. It will just add further stress....... If she tells you she doesnt want you to come see her, I hate to be blunt but you will have to get a grip and let her go...... Keep us posted. Link to comment
infamous Posted March 2, 2010 Author Share Posted March 2, 2010 il see how things pan out im not going to talk about the relationship any more maybe just good times i left it up to her to contact me to tell her how im going Link to comment
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