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So this week I had that crazy interaction with my ex with the e-mails etc. Where I said some pretty stupid things, that I am too good for her, and that she will regret what she lost (besides other things which were not as retarded). I eventually said sorry for what I had said, and explained that it was something that I said out of a hurt pride and ego, and not me being myself at all.

 

She replied dryly most of the time, but accepted my apologies, and that we need to just treat each other like everyone else, also apologized for hurting me.

 

 

So okay, with that background out of the way, where is the confusion?

 

Well, I had decided before that I did not want to get back together with her, but now I am starting to doubt myself.

 

I talked to her mother today a while. Her family came to our weekly meetings but she didn't as she was sick, so I felt like I would be open to talk to her mom, whom I hadn't talked to in a while, because I didn't want the ex to think that I wanted her back or something. I am good friends with her mom, and had been wanting to talk to her for a while anyway.

 

So she asked me how I was feeling, I said that I was so-so. She asked why.. how come? And I explained that I felt like an idiot for some stuff I had done earlier this week. And proceeded to explain to her. And yeah she pretty much agreed with me that the stuff I said was pretty dumb lol.

 

She also said that she had/has hope that her daughter will realize what she lost, and that she knows I am a good guy, and that I would be a good catch for her daughter.

 

She said that for the past two days my ex had looked really down and sad. Which coincides with the crap that happened between us. But I am trying to not make issue of it, and think that it is unrelated.

 

Bottom line is that after this week I am confused as to what I want. If I want her back or not.

 

I know that I have feelings for my ex, and that I still love her, and for example when I heard she was sick, first thing in my mind was that I wished I could be beside her and give her a hug and try and make her feel better.

 

But at the same time I think that when it comes to logic I should let this one go and move on to someone else.

 

I dunno though, I am confused. Today I was talking to some older friends after the Canada vs USA hockey game (they are around late 30's, and early 40's), who are married and have kids etc. And we were talking about relationships, marriage etc, and they pretty much telling me their experiences and things to watch out for, what I expect in a girl etc. Pretty much discussing relationships and marriage and expectations etc. Might I add as far as I know these friends are all happily married (3 couples of them) for quite a few years now, all around 10 years married and are happy etc. And no, they are not close enough to know about my ex or anything.

 

And damn, I just noticed that there are so many things about my ex that I want in a girl. And what is funny is that I had not even said anything, and they were telling me things "well if that is the type of girl you want, then you should go for a type of girl that is like this... and this... " and it was like a description of my ex's personality, etc.

 

Right now I can't do anything anyway, I need to let all the dirt that I stirred up sit, and let things calm down again. But I am really starting to consider giving this relationship a second shot in my head. Not sure...

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I just read one of your older threads. You are in your early 20's and your ex is 15, correct? Honestly, I think you need to do some thinking about what is going on here. You are a man, and she is a child. I think you should start considering dating someone closer to your age, and let the relationship with your ex go.

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I just read one of your older threads. You are in your early 20's and your ex is 15, correct? Honestly, I think you need to do some thinking about what is going on here. You are a man, and she is a child. I think you should start considering dating someone closer to your age, and let the relationship with your ex go.

 

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. And this is what my head tells me too, it is just logic.

 

What I mean about giving things a second chance is letting time go by and in a few years see what happens. But at the same time (I told her mom this today as well), it is not logical for me to wait years on something uncertain, just makes no sense.

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I just read one of your older threads. You are in your early 20's and your ex is 15, correct? Honestly, I think you need to do some thinking about what is going on here. You are a man, and she is a child. I think you should start considering dating someone closer to your age, and let the relationship with your ex go.

 

Oh, my my my ... To be very honest with you, if I had a 15 year-old daughter and a 22 year-old man wanted to date her, I'd run him off my porch with a tire iron.

 

I think if you want an adult relationship, you need to date an adult. I'm not trying to make fun of you either. There are immature 22 year olds. I'm talking about adult aged women with adult level maturity. If you only feel like you can connect with younger women, then I think you need to look at your own feelings of development and esteem.

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Oh, my my my ... To be very honest with you, if I had a 15 year-old daughter and a 22 year-old man wanted to date her, I'd run him off my porch with a tire iron.

 

I think if you want an adult relationship, you need to date an adult. I'm not trying to make fun of you either. There are immature 22 year olds. I'm talking about adult aged women with adult level maturity. If you only feel like you can connect with younger women, then I think you need to look at your own feelings of development and esteem.

 

I did not really have a relationship with her, nor did I date her... properly saying...

 

We were friends, both loved each other, I made things clear with her parents that I know she is not of age, that I knew she had feelings for me, and me for her, but just wanted to be allowed to keep talking to her.

 

They know me and respect me, and said that it is fine we could be friends. Most we ever did was like, hug, hold hands (like once when I was at her house watching a movie with friends, and she came sit beside me, and she initiated it...), things like that. I respect her and her family a lot, and I ain't a big creep. And eventually we even cut all of this touching out, because we agreed it is not the right time for that, and that we might end up doing something stupid. We kept this friendship/relationship up for about 1 year.

 

 

I do agree with what you say though. And no, this is the first time this type of thing happens to me. I have had a relationship with girls my age, or like a year older, but never younger. And I did not plan on it either, it just so happened that we became friends, and she pretty much tried to charm me for like 6 months, till I eventually cracked.

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I do agree with what you say though. And no' date=' this is the first time this type of thing happens to me. I have had a relationship with girls my age, or like a year older, but never younger. And I did not plan on it either, it just so happened that we became friends, and she pretty much tried to charm me for like 6 months, till I eventually cracked.[/quote']

 

I think you handled the situation with class. I think you deserve to be in a relationship where you can show your partner the full extent of your love and receive it in kind. Good luck.

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I am just really starting to think that maybe this deserves a second chance when she is older... I feel like things weren't fair, that if it wasn't for the bad timing things could have been very very different...

 

And thank you by the way, I just did what I thought was right given the weird situation.... And I guess that is why her parents like me so much to this day... because they know I could have done anything I wanted with her, and yet I always made them very aware of everything that was happening, the hugging, holding hands everything, I always cleared it up with them.

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I am just really starting to think that maybe this deserves a second chance when she is older... I feel like things weren't fair, that if it wasn't for the bad timing things could have been very very different...

 

 

Honestly, I don't think it's a good idea to hold on to the idea that maybe things will work out in a few years. She's a child, and you really don't have a clear idea of what kind of woman she will be. I think people sometimes tell themselves things like this (maybe we will get back together in time) to ease the pain of the break up. Who knows, maybe in 4 or 5 years you will re-connect and things will work out. But in the meantime, I think it's best and healthiest to continue on with your life, move forward, and eventually date other women. God luck.

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Honestly, I don't think it's a good idea to hold on to the idea that maybe things will work out in a few years. She's a child, and you really don't have a clear idea of what kind of woman she will be. I think people sometimes tell themselves things like this (maybe we will get back together in time) to ease the pain of the break up. Who knows, maybe in 4 or 5 years you will re-connect and things will work out. But in the meantime, I think it's best and healthiest to continue on with your life, move forward, and eventually date other women. God luck.

 

Yeah, I guess there really is no point in thinking about this right now. I know that I won't stay in limbo for 2-3 years waiting. And if I keep holding on to this hope any chance of getting along with a perfectly good girl will be spoiled.

 

I think best path here is to move on, forget about this whole thing and focus on my studies. I will be done university in the next two years, until then I will just focus on this and not pursue any relationships. If someone does come along I will try and not waste good opportunities, but I guess I won't go looking.

 

If it just so happens that until I am finished my studies I am still single and so is she, then I will go see what happens, she will be 18 by then, and I will be in a better position, no more university related stress etc.

 

And by then, maybe I won't even be considering this, and will go after someone else who is on the same page of life I am. Ughhh... hate feeling this.. I feel like I was thinking like this about 1 month ago, and this last week's slip up just set me back...

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