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Is it better to date a friend? Even if that means you risk losing the friendship…?


Allyo

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I’ve heard this opinion from a lot of people, that is it better to be friends first and/or date your friends because it is likely that you know them better and so the relationship tends to be stronger from the start. I tend to agree with this opinion… but at the same time, I could see it going horribly wrong. You always have the possibility of losing a good friend.

 

What do other people think on this issue?

 

Basically, I am a bit baffled by my guy friend. This is pretty weird situation. We have been friends for a year, but we lived together a few months as a temporary (and purely friendly) arrangement. There were two other people living in the house as well. I eventually ended up renting a place literally a couple blocks away with another girl friend. I had understood the living situation with him as a purely temporary arrangement… I never liked the house and told him from the start that I would be leaving when I found a new place. I got along with him well while we were living together, even though he spent over half of the time outside of the house (a chunk of time he was traveling, another chunk of time he went home for a few weeks for his sister’s operation).

 

But ever since I moved out we have been seeing each other more than ever. To me it seemed completely friendly at first, like we always have enjoyed each other’s company, and we are living super close. He stopped by and cooked lunch one day… or we drink wine together… or watch movies… He always made little comments about how he likes my hair, how he likes talking to me, how he feels that I understand him, blah blah… but one day we were in a particularly romantic situation – drinking wine in the moonlight on his balcony – and all of a sudden we kissed. Since then we have kissed on one other occasion. A little over a week has passed since the last kiss (and the last time that I have seen him), he has been busy preparing a big presentation since (or so he has told me!).

 

He basically said that he likes me, and that he wants to keep getting to know me better (which I don’t understand… umm, we already kind of know each other, haha)… Another comment he made that seemed sweet, but I’m not really sure how to interpret it, was that he imagined that we would arrive at a moment (in the future) where we would love each other a lot. He has also said that he wants to fall in love (although no specific reference to me, just in general).

 

I never would have imagined this with HIM... but I am falling for him and completely confused at the same time. A million things are going through my head! Maybe it was just the romance of the situation that made us kiss that night... The friendship I had with him was special… like we just understood each other and genuinely had a good time together. I could never even imagine fighting with him. Maybe we would have a better romantic relationship due to the friendship…? But I honestly can’t decide if it is a good idea to risk losing the friendship...

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No guys will say things that he said unless he really likes you!

 

Plus from the post at least you two seem to really treat each other with respect. I wouldn't fear of losing him even for any reason things don't work out...but gather you two will be the perfect couple.

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If you already like each other, your friendship has already become complicated. Better to try and see what the potential is.

 

As long as you are dating a friend because you really like them (rather than dating for convenience) then I think it's a good idea. You already know so much about each other, and friendship is the foundation of a good relationship.

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