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Pressuring Boyfriend for Sex??


tyanpanda

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I've been a lurker for quite some time and have recently signed up for an account because of an issue I am dealing with. I hope all of your experience can help me understand what is going on.

 

My boyfriend and I have been together for several months. I'm a bit quirky and he is a huge nerd, so naturally we have a great time together. Over the weekend we moved our relationship to the next level and had sex. He was a virgin while I was not (but I haven't had sex for a very long time). I ended up staying the night and in the morning we got a little frisky.

 

The only problem is, he didn't seem like he wanted to have sex again. We had been up a few hours and were just talking before. We did almost everything (touching, oral, etc.) and all seemed to be going well until I asked for a condom. He kind of just shut down in terms of passion. We had sex but he didn't finish

 

I got a really weird feeling afterward, something I can't describe but it really sucked. I felt like I was pressuring him into having sex (which is a bit odd for a girl to be pressuring) and I really don't want to move too fast or anything but it felt that way. He was a bit distant afterward but not so much where I could have noticed it right away.

 

I want to talk to him about not pressuring him into anything since I really like him, but I don't want to appear pushy. I'm not sure what to do. I am his first official girlfriend. He has dated others in the past but told me that it never went anywhere. So. I don't know what to think or do. I feel a bit saddened that he's doing stuff to make me happy and thoughts that he doesn't find me attractive enough run through my head constantly.

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I would just tell him that if he wants to wait a while to have sex, you're okay with it. That you sensed he was a bit uncomfortable and you don't want him to do something he's not sure about.

 

I think he's just anxious and worried about his performance.

 

He did tell me when we first had sex that he was nervous but I told him not to be. Afterwards, I told him that I wasn't going to pressure him into anything. The thing is, it appears that I'm initiating everything in terms of intimacy. He'll do the little things like kiss, hug, and hold hands but everything else is me.

 

I'm just at a loss of words.

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He did tell me when we first had sex that he was nervous but I told him not to be. Afterwards, I told him that I wasn't going to pressure him into anything. The thing is, it appears that I'm initiating everything in terms of intimacy. He'll do the little things like kiss, hug, and hold hands but everything else is me.

 

I'm just at a loss of words.

 

It's just his lack of experience. You should talk to him about him initiating more. Clear the air with him and let him know he's doing a good job.

 

We honestly went through similar problems, although we were both virgins.

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It's just his lack of experience. You should talk to him about him initiating more. Clear the air with him and let him know he's doing a good job.

 

He sounds nervous about it. Unsure. I think he will initiate more once he gets past this little nervous hump (pun intended). You need to be the soothing voice of 'everything is ging to be fine'. Yes, tell him he's doing fine and that you're both in this together and you are happy just to go at his pace.

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sometimes it's just the guy too. My bf hardly ever initiates, it's all me. we've been active for about 5 months now and he's completely open and honest with me but I'm still the one who initiates. If that's his personality than it's just something you'll have to get used to like i have and we have a great relationship. It may also be the nerd factor lol or just a simple coincidence (my guy loves his nerdiness and i find it cute lol) hope you find a happy medium and good luck

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