We met up

[squirl]

No, her whole thing was that she wanted "to see what else is out there." She even said the other night, that she got into something else because it was "new and exciting." and things had gotten boring with us. I'm guessing that will always happen and there is no point in even pursuing this thing. I might as well just keep trying to get with this other girl.

 

Yes, you might as well keep trying to get with this other girl.

 

Your ex has been single for what, a week now? She should have no problem understanding your desire to "see what else is out there" and to get into something else because it is new and exciting. Especially since she will be so busy with school.

 

For all you know, this other girl will be another girl that you feel so comfortable/close with but without the track record of stringing you along. It doesn't sound like you're about to move back in with your ex or get engaged.

 

But don't stay entangled with your ex. Give the new girl a clean slate.

[i miss her 2]

Why would she string me along like that? I would never do that to someone. I am the best guy she has ever been with...she tells me I cant be replaced, her friends, and even parents say the same thing. She acted so attatched to me in the relationship and would get SOOO jealous if another girl was checking me out, talking to me online, etc.

 

She knew I was interested in this other girl too before we reunited and she said that she is worried I will fall in love with this other girl and leave her in the dust.

[fr0z3n]

Why would she string me along like that? I would never do that to someone. I am the best guy she has ever been with...she tells me I cant be replaced, her friends, and even parents say the same thing. She acted so attatched to me in the relationship and would get SOOO jealous if another girl was checking me out, talking to me online, etc.

 

She knew I was interested in this other girl too before we reunited and she said that she is worried I will fall in love with this other girl and leave her in the dust.

 

God D**n It... See the bolded part?... Thats why she is stringing you along, you're a nice guy and the real thing is she doesn't want to lose you, not because she's madly in love with you but because she's now flying freely pretty high doing what she likes, she knows that she might fall and she want you to be around her so you're there to catch her... She will feed you're heart with those BS... I suggest reading the threads of superdave (All of it!) so you can have a better understanding on yourself and whats happening... IMO, you're still blinded by the breakup until now... You're just giving youself a heartache, she already gave that to you, you're full of it... I have an idea, why don't you give yourself a favor and gave those heartache to her by dropping off the face of the earth (her earth) and try to enjoy yourself being alone...

 

I dont know why you allowed yourself to be played by her? honestly I dont understand why... With all this crap that is going on, I dont understand why you're not seeing the bright picture here... it seems that she hypnotized you, seems like you're her slave... with all the posts on this thrread, with all the people here who are helping you, why do I feel that you're pretending to be blind, it seems that no matter what we will say, you will defend her by all means...

[Ms Darcy]

As hard as we are on him, he really does love her.

 

She just doesn't love him.

[i miss her 2]

Well that just makes her one insecure person.

 

I forgot to mention that originally she came back to me, saying she blew it, wanted me back, etc AND THEN I told her I was interested in this other girl.

 

Got that? It was afterwards that I told her that. And we didn't speak for a couple weeks after that.

 

I ignored her email last night and the day before that.

 

She just called me unexpectedly tonight and asked me if I wanted to go see this movie next week. I said maybe.

[fr0z3n]

she's like that because she sensed that she is losing her control on you...

 

Let's put it this way... The right path is in front of you (the other girl that you are pursuing)... But because you're still on a leash, you cannot go further, now she sees that you're struggling to go to this path thats why she's pulling the rope so you'll be back to where you are, with this truggling, the rope is beginning to tear down and it might snap at some point thats why she's luring you with the BSs that she's been saying to you...

 

I know it's not a good explanation but I hope you'll understand it... What you are feeling is not love... Love should be equal, if thats a real love, she should have given it back, but she is just taking all those love and finding love somewhere else too... You've been clinging to her so much, it's like you're addicted to her (her being in your life)... Do you really want to be with this person? treating you like trash because they want to get wild and experience more and now that you want to experience life too without her (trying to pursue another girl) now here she comes with all her BS so she can stop you enjoying youself and whatnot? you're letting her do that to you... how selfish is that?...

[squirl]

i miss her too,

 

How long have you been on these forums posting about this ex?

 

She has already strung you along. She did this by keeping in touch the whole time she was with the rebound guy. Please see that.

 

Perhaps that other girl you might like deserves a fair chance to get to know a great guy like you, did you consider that?

 

For all you know that other girl is also a sweetie who would never string anyone along either, and has been searching for and deserves a guy like you.

 

Wouldn't you like to think a nice girl like that deserves to end up with a prize like you? Your ex had a chance. Why not give the other girl a turn?

[i miss her 2]

I wanna give the other one a chance definitely. I hardly know her though. I only know her online and I think there might be some interest there, but not sure yet.

 

My ex actually did tell me to pursue the other girl if that is what I really want. She said, "I dont know why you told me about her. Was it to make me jealous? If you really like her, then maybe you should pursue her."

[cazmoore]

Wow, I actually spent the last twenty minutes reading every single post.

 

You totally don't see what's going on. The truth is, you know what it is that you have to do, but you're too afraid to go date other people because she's all you ever knew. I think you're kinda keeping her around 'just in case' as well. Why?

 

 

You need a push - you need to date a few girls and to not talk to your ex. Your judgment is totally clouded with having her around. If you don't go out there and date other girls, you're going to regret it for the rest of your life because you might just end up back with your ex and you'll always be wondering. And yeah, this girl can't be alone. She went and dumped you, and dated another guy and realized that she wants you, but you haven't given yourself the CHANCE to meet other girls and give them the opportunity.. and seriously, how could you? You're still talking to your ex. It's like a long, slow torment and it's f*cking cruelty... that's what it is. She should have left you alone to allow you to get over her and get back to normal again... That's just common courtesy...why even talk to her about girls you want to date? Of course she's going to tell you to date other girls.. she's using reverse psychology.

 

I just don't get why you can't see what other people are posting. Again, you know the situation better than anyone else does, but 99% of the posts on here are telling you the same thing. You just don't seem to want to listen. Stop talking to her for a while.

 

 

 

Good advice... just reverse the male/female positons/roles.

[fr0z3n]

I wanna give the other one a chance definitely. I hardly know her though. I only know her online and I think there might be some interest there, but not sure yet.

 

My ex actually did tell me to pursue the other girl if that is what I really want. She said, "I dont know why you told me about her. Was it to make me jealous? If you really like her, then maybe you should pursue her."

 

then pursue the other girl... with what she said, she's making you hesitate on your descision with the other girl... don't let interfere with your plan...

[bish0p2004]

If you really like her, then maybe you should pursue her."

 

Just wanted to chime in here...this is good old reverse psychology at it's best.

[i miss her 2]

Well, wanted to give an update here.

 

I am VERY embarassed.

 

Basically I had been going to this other forum for advice on how to meet women lol and um I had once posted pics of my ex to get these guys to basically talk crap on her with me...(was trying to help myself get over her). I thought I had taken these pics down...I think I did but somehow she found it.

 

I invited her over last Sunday and she goes, "I won't be coming over...perhaps you should invite ******? I won't be in your life anymore...promise. SOunds like you just need to move on from me because you are confused."

 

I felt sick to my stomach after this. She had read all of these posts about different girls I was trying to get with , how I wasn't confident enough to approach, lied about this one girl, etc. I felt horrible...

 

We're still talking but I even see now that she put the pics up of rebound guy and when I called her out on it she said it was because he freaked out that she had taken them down. She said she can tell that I obviously want to pursue other girls and she will just have to see me later down the road and see where I am at. VERY embarassing for me...

 

And before that she told me I need to stop stalking this girl that I do like and actually make a move because she thinks I could snag her easily....this made me feel so strange to have her tell me that. Very embarassed because I lied to her before we met up and said that I did in fact know this girl. Omg...

[jaygirl]

For real? wow. not good news at all

[HeartGoesOn]

I'm sorry that happened, but you have to realize that what you post on the internet stays on the internet.

[i miss her 2]

Yeah, I know. I feel awful about it.

 

My friends have been telling me it's a good thing but....

 

I had her...all alone once again.

[neverlost]

I didn't read all your posts, but I think she should understand that you were trying to cope with the break-up. She wasn't you gf at the time, so why not dating other girls?

 

I think there may be an angle to approach this, even if what you wrote is very intimate, if she wanted to get back with you she has to deal with these intimate posts about your post-breakup coping process.

 

However embarassing it is initially, I think you should have an honest conversation about this. She may be able to understand your motives for posting here.

 

My opinion

[i miss her 2]

I didn't read all your posts, but I think she should understand that you were trying to cope with the break-up. She wasn't you gf at the time, so why not dating other girls?

 

I think there may be an angle to approach this, even if what you wrote is very intimate, if she wanted to get back with you she has to deal with these intimate posts about your post-breakup coping process.

 

However embarassing it is initially, I think you should have an honest conversation about this. She may be able to understand your motives for posting here.

 

My opinion

 

Yes, I did explain that to her. Even told her that I was trying to hate her while we were apart and that was part of the reason I did that. The only thing I couldn't get away with was the fact that we hung out a few weeks ago, became intimate, and talked about getting back together, yet I posted in the forum after that talking about other girls that I was interested in. She said she understood everything but thinks she will never be as attractive to me as this other girl. She told me that she will just have to see where I'm at later down the road. Im so embrassed...I even posted about how I was too shy to approach this one girl I liked but how great I thought she smelled and looked lol. Omg...I even told another lie where I basically told her that half of those posts were a joke that me and my friend were doing just to get a rise out of people and yes some of them were serious because I was trying to cope with the loss. I actually think she believed it but yeah...I haven't gotten ahold of her since.

 

She even said some of the posts were "Disturbing"

[Ms Darcy]

Well, live and learn. Just give her some space for a while and see how things go down the road.

 

By the way, I don't think this was really a bad thing. You had a girl who wasn't really all that reliable possibly stringing you along. You both need a little independence to perhaps mature a bit. Good luck.

[squirl]

The only thing I couldn't get away with was the fact that we hung out a few weeks ago, became intimate, and talked about getting back together, yet I posted in the forum after that talking about other girls that I was interested in.

 

* * *

 

Omg...I even told another lie where I basically told her that half of those posts were a joke that me and my friend were doing just to get a rise out of people and yes some of them were serious because I was trying to cope with the loss. I actually think she believed it but yeah...I haven't gotten ahold of her since.

 

She even said some of the posts were "Disturbing"

 

Whoa! Massive reconciliation FAIL!

 

You were intimate with your ex, told her you wanted to get back together, posted behind her back about other girls, and you're STILL trying to "get her back" by lying to her about it?

 

I think you left the being intimate with your ex part out of your previous posts.

 

That's the thing about lies. If a person knows you well, they will see through them. And if they don't know you well, whatever you are creating will be a sham and one person's bound to be unhappy.

 

I agree with neverlost that you should be honest with her. But you shouldn't be thinking in terms of "getting away with" anything. Level with your ex and take the consequences.

[i miss her 2]

So, not a bad thing eh? Its funny how forever everyone was telling me to kick this girl to the curb and now your telling me I failed....

 

Except for darcy of course.

[Ms Darcy]

So, not a bad thing eh? Its funny how forever everyone was telling me to kick this girl to the curb and now your telling me I failed....

 

Except for darcy of course.

 

No dear, you didn't fail. It's an awkward situation all around and you both just need a little distance to process everything and figure out what you really want in life.

[squirl]

I think it's part of the process.

 

When I said fail, I meant that you got caught in a web of lies, and that's not fun for anyone.

 

Take it as a lesson learned, and rethink how you deal with the women you date. If this is the road you take, then it's not a failure long term.

[i miss her 2]

Ugh, I tried calling her all weekend and last night sent her a message saying, "I just want to talk to you. Something doesn't feel right"

 

She messaged me back today and said she would write back later tonight. She is going to her parents right now. She told me her phone was off yesterday and she was busy anyway.

[Ms Darcy]

I think you need to move away from this position of begging. There is no reason for you to beg. Leave her be for now.

[ladyblue07]

I agree with Darcy. You are getting yourself wrapped up in being her doormat again. I think it would be a blessing in disguise if she actually did stop talking to you because of those posts (but she won't, because she loves getting to kick you around like a pathetic puppy too much).