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Nagging leading to break up


naggingchic

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I have dated my man for two years, and nagged him into making a commitment.

 

He is loving, treats me good, but from the beggining i have been scared of him not marrying me. I usually nag him about twice monthly (its been two years) if he has finally decided to marry me. The funny thing is, its a cycle. He tells me he is still not sure, we break up, then return together five days later, and continue, till my next 'fit'.

 

The thing is that despite the fact that he says he isnt sure, he starts doing stuff that indicates he is thinking of getting more serious like introducing me to his parents, getting a house for us and all that, and once anything relating to that happens, i try to inquire and be sure that he has made up his mind which leads to nagging.

 

 

Last week of january, i decided to nag again, and threatened to leave him, and for the first time, he begged me to stay, saying we had come a long way, and he just needed time to be sure we were meant for each other.

 

 

I got so excited, and i dont know why i decided to bring it up again mid february, and he said he was still thinking and i got upset nagged again, and threatened him, and he said maybe it was better we call it off. and i said okay.

 

The difference is that this time, he isnt even bothering to come back. he still wants to be friends though. i feel like my nagging just blew off our whole relationship away.!

 

 

please i want him back. what do you think

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It's not hard to understand why he left. I think you really need to prove to him that you have self-discipline and trust in him. Give him some space for a while. Let him know that you trust he will make the right decision and give him breathing room. If he wants no contact, that's what you do. You have to break this cycle and I really think this is the only way to do it.

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Why do you 'nag' so much? Seriously. Could you not have talked like a mature grown person?

 

No wonder he isn't coming back, this is absolutely ridiculous. He has every right to walk away. No one wants to be with a nagger. They want a partner. Not a mother. A mother nags on her kids. A partner doesn't.

 

Give it some time. You need to do some major changes within yourself, and thats going to take time. Figure out your faults. Find out where all this nagging comes from and fix yourself and your ways of communicating.

 

But really..after so much break up and back togethers, one does really wonder if it will ever work out because you just go back to the same ways. Eventually you reach the point of breaking, and he clearly has. Nothing changed in the past, and he probably feels like it wont ever.

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why on earth would you want to be with someone you have to nag into marrying you?

 

why on earth would you expect someone else to want to be with that nag?

 

it sounds like this relationship ended up right where it belonged.

 

sorry...but you really shouldn't pressure anyone into marrying you. if a man wants you as his wife, you more than likely won't have to say a word.

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ah that sounds just awful, I feel bad for the guy. I never understood why women do this, first of all it is unappealing and needy and in my opinion shows how insecre a person is in the relationship, and second don't you want a man to marry you because he can't live with out you not because you nagged him into doing it? I don't mean to be mean, but can you not see why he left? I would have to if I were in that position.

 

The only thing you can do is appologize for your ways and actually stop! It is ok to talk about a future together and to make sure you both have the same long term goals, but to nag a man into a proposal is just wrong on many levels.

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Yeah I agree with nicknick.

You still haven't met his olds after two years?

 

I'm starting to wonder if he thinks you seeing his olds means he will have to be tied down to you.

 

Horrible quote for commitment really "being tied down"

"Tieing the knot" = not free anymore.

 

I know I would be sure after two years.

But then marriage does not equate to love in my opinion.

 

Only gives someone insecure, security.

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The difference is that this time, he isnt even bothering to come back. i feel like my nagging just blew off our whole relationship away.!

Can you blame him for not coming back? The writing was on the wall - nagging someone to death about something almost always leads to chasing them away ... add threatening them and ultimatums .... they leave permanently.

 

Also, why would you want to pressure a man into marrying you, knowing he's not 100% sure he's ready for it? Wouldn't it be better to have him marry you when HE feels it all on his own?

 

Learn from this so that future relationships don't end the same way.

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Soooooooo much agree with the majority here...

And regarding not having met the parents until later -- who knows? Maybe they don't live in the same city/country & that is a factor in not having met yet... Can't jump to conclusions without all info...

 

My bf did not meet my parents for about 1.5 years because they do not live in the same province. They were visiting me here once but we'd just started dating, and then I hadn't seen them for that subsequent amount of time myself...

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