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Dating and calling?


Jetta

Do you think a woman should call/text/msg a man during the dating phase of a relationship?  

29 members have voted

  1. 1. Do you think a woman should call/text/msg a man during the dating phase of a relationship?

    • A woman should NEVER call/text/msg. a man, even if he asks her to.
      1
    • Yes, call/text/msg. but ONLY when he asks.
      4
    • Yes, call/text/msg. anytime to show interest.
      18
    • Other, state your response below.
      6


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This part of the question is for females. When you're dating someone, do you call them? If so, how often.

 

This part of the question is for males? Do you like it when a girl calls you, or do you prefer to be the one initiating the contact?

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I call when I feel like it. Usually in the evening once I'm done everything I need to do for the day. If I know he is busy though I won't call, I'll wait for him to phone me. It all depends. When my bf and I first started dating he would send me txts throughout the day but he wouldn't call because he was scared of interrupting me (I was busier than he was in the evenings), and I would call when I got home.

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This part of the question is for females. When you're dating someone, do you call them? If so, how often.

 

This part of the question is for males? Do you like it when a girl calls you, or do you prefer to be the one initiating the contact?

 

I'd like it if the girl would call me. If the girl never called or texted me I'd assume she is not intrested and move on.

 

Sadly though most girls thinks it's wrong to call or initiate contact at all with the man she is dating.

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I'm one of those girls, and since I'm interested in the guy I'm asking this question. I generally only call when he tells me to. But, because of this post I just called him, woke him from a nap (he was supposed to be out of town but returned home early), either way he seemed happy to hear from me.

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Only call when you first meet someone. Dry text will not make a connection, it only leads to misunderstandings when you barely know each other. Texting and emails are not a proper substitute for real communication.

 

You should contact and initiate about 50/50. Anything more or less will be seen as too little interest or a smothering amount.

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I dunno I don't know why girls have this thing that they shouldn't call. If they don't call and show interest how is the guy supposed to know if she is into him? Maybe this is why all the game playing starts, because people don't know who should be calling when really girls and guys should call each other.

 

 

I think it's because they don't want to show that they are intrested even if they are. They don't want to initiate any contact what so ever with a guy they are dating because they like to be chased, I think they like to feel superior by making the guy chase her.

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It's not about feeling superior it's because we are told that guys like the chase and if we don't give them a chase they'll lose interest in us.

 

Well obviously that's not the case since all guys in this thread has said they would like it if the girl called. And I can't see why any guy would dislike it.

 

I feel this "guys like the chase" thing is just an excuse made up by women as to why you never take any initiatives and never show any intrest.

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No I have called, I just try not to call. Now I'll probably actually call. Like after class or something just to say hi. I know he's at work so it's not like I can really call all the time, just joking a little bit is all. If I were to call 3 times a day that would be a lot IMO, until we're really really a couple then I call whenever.

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It's not about feeling superior it's because we are told that guys like the chase and if we don't give them a chase they'll lose interest in us.

 

There IS some truth to this statement.

 

Guys might not even notice it. If a girl they "kind of" like calls them 10x a day and leaves 4 messages his interest will wane significantly. However, if the same girl he "kind of" likes calls once and he calls back and has to leave a message and then *wonder* whens she will call back... this may instill in him more desire to talk to her / date her.

 

BUT if it is a girl he absolutely head over heels for it is irrelevant whether she calls 10x or once a day. Shes got him. He might get a little annoyed at the constant calling... but she won't lose him if hes that interested because of it.

 

I believe this goes both ways too.

 

Take home message? Do what feels right. However, be aware that what feels right might be overdoing it.

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There IS some truth to this statement.

 

Guys might not even notice it. If a girl they "kind of" like calls them 10x a day and leaves 4 messages his interest will wane significantly. However, if the same girl he "kind of" likes calls once and he calls back and has to leave a message and then *wonder* whens she will call back... this may instill in him more desire to talk to her / date her.

 

BUT if it is a girl he absolutely head over heels for it is irrelevant whether she calls 10x or once a day. Shes got him. He might get a little annoyed at the constant calling... but she won't lose him if hes that interested because of it.

 

I believe this goes both ways too.

 

Take home message? Do what feels right. However, be aware that what feels right might be overdoing it.

 

 

I disagree with this to a point. You can really like someone but if they are exhibiting scary behaviour then it'll cause you to question them.

 

I don't think guys think that there is such a thing as too much contact but it's really easy to feel threatened by a guy you barely know. I'll let you know when you need to tone it down a bit, but a lot of girls won't.

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I think it REALLY depends on the person/situation.

It's much easier to call when you've known each other a bit, seen each other around or been talking somehow before.

If you just met someone (e.g. a bar) and haven't had much to talk about or gotten to know each other, it's best not to text or call b/c the convo can get dry .. fast.

 

But let's say I've gone out with someone once, I'd text them to let them know I had a great time.

Then I'd leave it up to them to see if they take innitiative to text me.

And if they don't, I wouldn't just give up and move on- you could miss out on what could have blossomed. I'd take innitiative to call/text and see how they respond.

 

So far from my experience, if a guys interested he'll definitly make contact again.

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I like to email/text/sms the guy, but I only do it about as much or a little less than they do. I tend to initiate much less than the man. Even then however, I am considered as being pushy according to ENA standards though?!! And most men tend to get over me quickly... so don't take my advice. Haha!

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I chose the "other" option... I will happily initiate contact, but not anytime. If I am feeling really into someone and contact them just any ol' time I want... that is bad. Some restraint should come into play.

 

And sure.. as a woman, based on my experience, it generally does work better to let him come to you a little more frequently. If things are even... that is ok. If he is doing a bit more initiating... that also usually works since guys are simply more aggressive by nature usually. But 90% of the time if I am contacting more... if I am "chasing"... then things are doomed.

 

For me... this is how I know about men and chasing. So no... I don't think it is anything made up... and it in no way has anything to do with wanting to feel superior. I simply want things to work.

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