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Here's a challenge! Any takers?


Kumatora

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Ok, I have this problem that involved fiances in my relationship that I have been trying to overcome for over 2 years. I need some help.

 

Some Back Story

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 6 years now. We dated other people, but ended up back together. The feelings are there and we have been through hell and back, making some serious progress. We both want to get married and we are absolutely sure on it.

 

The Problem

We are going through serious financial distress within our families and within each other. Both of us have graduated college. I found a job that is a temp position... I don't think I will want to take a full-time position with a contract because it's working at a reform school with kids who just got out of prison or have a PO. I love working with kids and have been told I will make an outstanding teacher, but the stress level there is incredibly high for a new hire. With the kinds of stuff that goes on, I don't think I can last... most of the teachers themselves are on psychiatric drugs just to handle this job and I really don't want to end up like that. Last week we just had a couple teachers assaulted and I am incredibly worried about my own safety working there. I have been looking for a summer job and a permanent position that can support my bills... it's not there. ](*,)

My partner on the other hand cannot find a job. He has been looking everywhere, quit playing video games to look harder and focus, but he is experiencing difficulty. I have been supporting him all the way as he has been there for me. His degree is in Radiology, he has done volunteer work at an urgent care center to gain more experience which was 45 mins away from his home and he STILL can't find a job. He's been looking for a full-time job everywhere and we live in an inner city area. It's ridiculous!

 

On top of it, our parents are losing their jobs. My mom is losing her job in 2 months from the federal government and my dad's job can't afford the bills by himself. My parents are preparing for foreclosure on a house they bought to retire in 4 years ago. So once my temp position is up, I most likely don't have a home to go back to (I am living on my own, renting a room). My boyfriend's parents are dealing with a lawsuit from a neighbor and it's costing them their house! They're considering moving back to their country.

 

I really, really don't know what to do with this whole situation and it's breaking my heart tremendously because it's challenging my relationship with my boyfriend and my family. I normally don't ask for advice, but I am having a lot of problems deciding what to do and where to go. I talked with my boyfriend about the possibility of teaching overseas, but he does not want me to do it. I have been talking about it until he put his foot down recently and begged me not to go. He can't go with me either since his native language is not English and all overseas teaching agencies want a native English speaker.

 

Any suggestion or advice is welcomed at this point. I don't think breaking up would be possible because it will only add to the stress. We are both working hard to get settled and try to become more independent from our families.

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Try to break this down into manageable units.

 

First, your boyfriend looking for work... if he can't find a job in his field, then he can look for ANY job right now that will tide him over, whether that is working as a temp in a grocery store or whatever. Any work is better than no work, both mentally and financially.

 

Second, keep looking for a teaching job, as more school districts will start hiring for the summer and Fall soon. This is a bad time of year to look if you're a teacher, but in a few months, it will be better.

 

Also, unemployment feels horrible while it's happening, but if you keep at it, you WILL find another job. It may take six months to a year from the time you start looking, so the trick is finding ways to keep yourself going during that time. Your boyfriend should take any temp or part time job he can find while still looking for a Radiology job, and you can wait in your current job until they are hiring at schools later in the year. At worst, you'll only have to do this job a few more months until they start hiring for summer and fall terms.

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Is there any possibility of you getting on a sublist with your school district in the area? Subbing is just as good money as teaching when you are first starting out, you get good experience, and the best part is, at 3:00, you are done. You don't have to take anything home or deal with parents, or do the planning. You just show up for the day and manage the kids. It also gives you a good oportunity to network so when a school likes you they will get you to sub there a lot and then you will be considered for the next available position.

 

I would reccomend that your bf just find a job that will pay the bills, not necessarily in his field. It is hard to look for work right now but I'm sure he can find SOMETHING and while he's working that job he can keep searching for one that he really wants.

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Thanks for the replies. I'll try to respond:

 

First, your boyfriend looking for work... if he can't find a job in his field, then he can look for ANY job right now that will tide him over, whether that is working as a temp in a grocery store or whatever. Any work is better than no work, both mentally and financially.

That's what he's trying to do now. He's been looking at bus driving until a job in his field pops up. He's been applying at decent places. Lucky him he doesn't have a stack of debt (loans, rent, insurance, ect) like me

 

Second, keep looking for a teaching job, as more school districts will start hiring for the summer and Fall soon. This is a bad time of year to look if you're a teacher, but in a few months, it will be better.

Tell me about it. I have been applying for TWO YEARS at school systems. Last year I applied for over 70 school systems and only ended up with 3 interviews... didn't get the job because it was handed over to teachers with more experience. EVERYONE in the US is under hiring freezes. DC laid off teachers in October (for crappy reasons). A school system Rhode Island school recently fired teachers too. There's word that the school system I am working for are doing downsizing lay offs by the end of the school year. It's all budget cuts and lowered taxes that are putting school systems on hiring freezes.

 

 

Is there any possibility of you getting on a sublist with your school district in the area?

That's what my temp position is: long term substitute. I have been subbing for 2 years now.

 

Subbing is just as good money as teaching when you are first starting out, you get good experience, and the best part is, at 3:00, you are done. You don't have to take anything home or deal with parents, or do the planning. You just show up for the day and manage the kids. It also gives you a good oportunity to network so when a school likes you they will get you to sub there a lot and then you will be considered for the next available position.

The money subs get varies by which school system they work for- some pay well (about $135 a day), others don't ($87 a day). However... the temp position I took didn't have ANY plans, seating charts, or anything- the teacher took everything and ran basically and next thing I know, I am expected to work til the end of the school year. It was tough at the beginning... it still is even though I am qualified for the position and have learned to deal with most of the craziness that happens. I'm not exactly trained to deal with this kind of school though. I'm surviving, but it's about "for how long?"

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