Could my past hurt my chances?

[Dougie_D]

O.k. So the other night, I think I made have "sparked" some definite interest. At least my guy friends seem impressed at the time. It was odd, though, I was actually in a "hurry" to get out of the bar but I somehow made some to time to chat with this girl. I was waiting on my tab at the bar and she was waiting to get a beer.

Well, somehow we got talking and "we" found out we know the same people. People that I have recently beginning to hang out with (the friends and people from my previous girl I liked) and the ones where she has known for a long time. Apparently she is an ex-girlfriend of one of the guys I know.

Chances are very, very slim that I run into her though...but I get this feeling if she was interested in me in ANY way...she's going to ask her friends about me.

Do girls rely on their own instincts or do they rely on "reviews". Picture a girl that watches an awesome trailor for a movie she might want to see, but decides not to go because of mixed reviews.

Thoughts? People sometimes talk about me like I'm some celebrity.

[HouseKitten]

People sometimes talk about me like I'm some celebrity.

 

What do you mean by this?

 

Personally, I would rely on a mixture of my own first impression plus anything my friends know about you. So for example if you made an average impression and then one of my friends raved about what a great guy you are, my opinion of you would go up. However, if you made a good impression but then someone told me you'd cheated on all your exes (or whatever) then my opinion would down quite a lot.

 

However, as is often in evidence on these forums, you can warn people and give them all the advice you like, people will still do what they want in regards to relationships. So if a girl really liked you, an average review from a friend wouldn't hurt you much, because people tend to think 'but I have a good feeling about this guy'.

[Dougie_D]

If I want to make an "effort" in hanging out with this girl or just seeing her again what should I do? I don't want to start asking my friends(recent acquaintances) about her because that might "creep" her out if she wasn't interested from the get go. I don't know if these people will "make me sound cool" anyways. I usually do ask around, but that never works so I want to try something different. Facebook? Yes, no? Should I just move on?

[HouseKitten]

You know you have mutual friends, right? Why not ask one of them if she's seeing anyone and take it from there? See what they say about her.

 

If you do decide to go for facebook, I'd include a short message with the request, something like - 'hey, you might not remember me but we met in so-and-so's bar the other night! Doug.'

 

Bit early to be thinking about moving on - you've barely even spoken to the girl yet

[Miss Firecracker]

Of course your reputation can ruin your chances, Dougie. But it is a waste of time to think about it since you can do nothing to change that. The best you can do is change your reputation starting today. And stay away from Facebook. If you want to start something with her, do it in person. I like men that take chances. Facebook is for kids.

[Dougie_D]

They are more like acquaintances. Bar friends. Never really hung out with them

. Is that cool? It's the ex

[HouseKitten]

I would avoid speaking directly to her ex or his close friends if I were you. Try to go for people less buddy-buddy with him.

 

I don't think you'll get a fair picture from an ex, somehow.

[Momake]

Since you seem more like acquaintances than friends of any kind - I don't see anything wrong with adding her to FB as a first "move". I don't mean you need post on her wall or poke her and then ask her out - I just mean as a simple move to remind her who you are. Also, nothing like some good "old" fashioned facebook creeping (from both parties) to get to know one another before getting to know one another...

[Dougie_D]

hahaha! I'm not even FB friends with the dudes at the bar. This one might be a bit tricky. I think her and the dude I know (her ex of somewhat) apparently still talk to each other. I'm thinking if she is interested in me, I'll find out, because probably she would have mentioned who I am to the dude. I have a higher chance of seeing the dude. If he mentions anything about how I met this girl, I will probably FB her.