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memories of his ex


charlotte...

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i was with my boyfriend for 4 years when he broke up with me and got with another girl in the same week. i went mental, i rang him constantly causing him to change his number but i got it agan and carried on. eventually we got back together and have been together for the last year.

 

i want to be happy with him so badly but im haunted by the past, i wont let him have anything to do with his ex girlfriend, i check her Facebook everyday to check that she has nothing to do with him.

 

hes given up so much for me by not going out with his friends incase she was there, getting back with me made his family turn against me. but despite how much he has done, i cant forgive him. i will have a go at him if i see her at all, everytime i see her face i remember how aweful everything made me feel.

 

we get on so well but any fun we have is ruined by memories.

 

i dont wanna loose him, hes everything to me, but i cant keep living like this, what should i do?

 

ive booked myself in for countless counselling appointments but always get really scared and never turn up.

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For this relationship to work, it really is about forgiveness. You can't hold onto someone if you don't want to lose them. It just becomes a prison that they want to escape. The best way to have someone stick around is to let them be free. Plus, wouldn't the knowledge that your bf is with you because that's what he chose be a lot better than thinking that he's with you because you check up on him all the time?

 

Like I said, the key here is forgiveness. Every time you find yourself feeling jealous or insecure, just remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes, that you want things to work out with your boyfriend, and that he's with you now.

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You need to find it somewhere in yoru heart to forgive him. I can deffenatly see how hard that is going to be due to what he did but he is with you now. How is the relationship? does he tell you he loves you? Does sweet things for you?

 

If you cant find a way to let it go and let it be in the past it will eat at you. You dont want to risk loosing him again do you?

 

Also do the counseling thing. I had to go to some a year ago, i thought it was embarrassing - but it helped. Im not just saying that but it really did help to talk to someone - even tho they are a stranger but you can say how you feel with out the judgement a friend or family member may make and they can offer an unbiased opinion. It does help you get perspective. Try at least one appointment.

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