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Why I am always shoved aside and forgotten? I try my best to be a good friend and go out of my way to be there for people. Why do people not appreciate me?

 

Heres my story. So my boyfriend broke up with me a year and a half ago. I found out he was seeing someone behind my back. I really though I would get more support from my friends (Who were my friends first) but sadly I didn't after like the first 3 weeks. He was the one invited to parties and I wasn't. Even my best friend wasn't there for me. Months later one of the guys in the group who had a thing for years invited me to his birthday party, and suddenly I was back into the group again. I let my hurt feelings go. People were irritated by my ex's new girlfriend cause she nasty to everyone and buzz kill. Then one day people started to befriend her. It made me uneasy at first cause I was worried I would be pushed aside again. So I swallowed my pride and was totally civil to both of them when they started coming to parties again. I even said hi to them, but my ex acted like I didn't exist. His GF even told me she was sorry for all the pain she caused (Though I don't believe it was totally sincere. I know she loved seeing me suffer. She even admitted she was jealous of me) I accepted it and tried my best to get along with them for the groups sake.

 

Then I didn't go to one party, made other plans instead, and this one girl who I considered a really good friend turned on me, especially after I got with my new boyfriend. She went around saying we wouldn't last and we would cause DRAMA for the group when we broke up. Then made a rumor that my roommate said that she was faking her pregnancy. Yet everyone sticks up for this girl. They act like I have no reason to be upset. I was really upset at first but let it go some and remained quiet about it. I don't go badmouthing them to anyone. It just hurts that I haven't heard from anyone in months and they continue to hang out with my ex, his GF and my Ex friend.

 

Don't I have reason to be hurt? Why I am always pushed aside for people that manipulate, lie and hurt people to get their own way. Why doesn't anyone care about my feelings? What should I do just forget them all and try to make new friends? Its just hard to make friends. Why do I look like the bad person when I really did nothing wrong but care and try to be people's friends?

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Sounds like these people are very fickle..one day your friend, the next day not, then back to being your friend again, then not. There are a lot of crowd followers out there who can't make up their own mind and choose to blindly follow what others do...when it comes to groups of friends, there is often a "ringleader" who decides who will be accepted and who won't. When that "ringleader" says "you are no longer my friend" then the rest of the sheep in the group jump on the bandwagon. That seems to happen no matter how old people are...it happens with seniors as well. True friends have their own mind and do not follow the dictates of the the self-appointed group "ringleader". I think it is time for you to find better friends.

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Time to make new friends!

 

Don't look at this as a bad thing, from all the crap happening with that group, plus the fact that your ex is still in that crew, i think its time for you to move on. Don't look at it as they don't care about you, but that you are better off without them.

 

In my life I've gone through a lot of diffferent social circles. I had my highschool friends, i still keep in touch with one on a regular basis. I had my group of friends in college, and that all fell apart when we graduated and got real lives, then every time i change work places i meet new friends. its kinda fun.

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I am sorry this is happening to you. I am not surprised, however. I agree that it's time to make a new circle of friends. I know, easier said than done, but it is doable. Do you have any hobbies that you could share with new people? I am thinking of joining an interest group and making friends that way.

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