Jump to content

brian123

Recommended Posts

Hey all

 

I've been dating a girl for a bit over a year now. She was the first to say she loved me, usually initiates conversation etc...

 

However, she is graduating soon and has stated that she isn't sure what will happen with "us" once she graduates. I've said that I would like to plan on "her and I" for the future once she does, but has said that she is scared of becoming that serious with someone right now. I can tell that I mean an awful lot to her, but right now I feel like she isn't showing the the same respect I show her.

 

She says how much I mean to her all the time, and really shows more affection and willingness to get together and see each other, even more than I show. However, this lack of being willing to show much commitment to the future really bothers me and makes me feel like I am wasting my time. We've talked about this before, and all she can say is how she isn't sure what will happen to her as far as her job.

 

Anyone have any advice they could share?

 

Thanks all

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i would talk to her one more time and tell her everything how you feel, even if its blunt. Tell her how you see your future together. But tell her that you do need to see some sign of commitment from her, and that she wants the same. If she says she is unsure, maybe give her some time to think (week or 2) and that you are unable to wait for around for a 'maybe'.

 

If she isn't sure what will happen with her job, no one can predict the future, but for me personally, i wonder how much someone can love someone else, if they are willing to give it up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I can kind of understand the situation this girl is in because I was there too when I finished university. I had NO IDEA where I would get a job or where life would take me, so I didn't want to settle down with a relationship, and honestly at that point in time my job was the biggest thing to me, because I worked SOOO hard to finish my education. Even now that I'm in a permanent place I don't think I would relocate for my current relationship.

 

Just make sure you talk to her about it and be open with your concerns with her. Hopefully you two can work something out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If anything, it sounds like she puts more of an effort in the relationship - initiation and affection - than you do. Why commit to someone who doesn't particularly try and who doesn't communicate his needs before breaking up. I think you should evaluate how important she is to do and speak your feelings to her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks all.

 

Some times she does show more affection. However, I find it hard to increase the level I show to her if she is unwilling to commit to me if that makes sense. She has told me a couple of times that she is worried I am going to feel like I wasted my time with her because she isn't sure what she wants.

 

To me, those are all red flags.

 

 

Right now, she is super stressed about a certification exam she has coming up. It is in two weeks. I think I am going to let things slide with her until after her test to have a more serious talk with her about things. For me though, I am setting myself up for the expectation that things will not last much longer with her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks all.

 

Some times she does show more affection. However, I find it hard to increase the level I show to her if she is unwilling to commit to me if that makes sense. She has told me a couple of times that she is worried I am going to feel like I wasted my time with her because she isn't sure what she wants.

 

To me, those are all red flags.

 

 

Right now, she is super stressed about a certification exam she has coming up. It is in two weeks. I think I am going to let things slide with her until after her test to have a more serious talk with her about things. For me though, I am setting myself up for the expectation that things will not last much longer with her.

 

As I said, you are showing me more red flags than she is. If you don't communicate what YOU want to her, it's all a moot point. I think it would be unfortunate for you to continue your distancing behavior for another two weeks.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...