Jump to content

Time - there is not enough


Blue Skittles

Recommended Posts

My bf and I kind of had a little conflict tonight, and I don't feel like its been resolved, and I'm not sure what to feel about it.

 

We've been together 2 months and we've spent so much time together and have really enjoyed being with each other and are falling in love with each other.

 

But then this week, he left for work out of town for a week. And now I'm starting to notice he does not know how to set boundaries in his life. Because he got back on friday and he is asked by a friend to work an extra job which takes up his ENTIRE weekend. He accepts but I feel bad for him because I could tell on Friday night he was tired and just needed a break. I invited him to come to my house for supper tonight and he came but was just exhausted and didn't even speak to anyone.

 

So when I talked to him about my concerns, he said that he knew things weren't good right now and he said the problem is that he works wayyy tooo much and he doesn't even know why or how to stop it. I told him "It's called BOUNDARIES". We talked a little bit and he asked me if I can help him get through this and I told him he needs to take time for himself, and he even needs to take time for himself when I'm not around. But even after we talked, he left, but it just wasn't the same. There was definitely a distance between us. I could TELL all he wanted to do was just get home.

 

Anyways, I guess I'm getting frustrated because I know this situation is not going to improve. We both work through the week. I have a busy weekend next weekend with my work, as next weekend is the last weekend I'm going to get before a major deadline. And he'll more than likely be sent out of town for another 2 weeks after that. Then I get my one week holiday which I've already planned to go out and visit my family, and he won't get time off to come with me.

 

He said he's not worried about the time factor because he's thinking about this relationship long term and he knows we'll have more time to spend together. But me, I think, that if this is the way things are going to go, where we spend a whole month and don't even have one weekend for each other, I kind of have problems with that. I know either way I have to accept that this month is just not going to be a good one for this relationship and do my own life things but I'm definatley feeling sad about it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Don't get me wrong, I'm not frustrated with HIM, just with the situation. I don't expect him to change his plans, and honestly he cant change his plans. Work is work. I just am a bit disappointed because we had such an awesome 2 months together and now I don't even foresee a weekend in the near future that will line up that we can spend together.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Don't get me wrong, I'm not frustrated with HIM, just with the situation. I don't expect him to change his plans, and honestly he cant change his plans. Work is work. I just am a bit disappointed because we had such an awesome 2 months together and now I don't even foresee a weekend in the near future that will line up that we can spend together.

 

Thats part of relationships, especially when work is a large factor.

You make time. You make sacrifices. But at two months, tis still a new relationship and it will take time to find the footing and the balance.

 

Its a little give and take from both sides, and if both parties want to be together, they will make it happen. I have a partner that works 80-90 hour weeks. We even live together but yet we're lucky if we share a meal or a bed together once a week. He has to stop and make the choice to turn down work to spend some time with me, and I make sacrifices in my schedule, to spend time with him. We struggled with quite some time to set those boundaries, but it wasn't a tough choice to make...we just had to make the choice, to make the choice.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One thing that helps is not looking at the big picture. When I do that, I get greatly overwhelmed.

 

He had planned a great weekend away as my Valentine gift, but it had to get cancelled because of work. He said we'd definitely reschedule, but when I stopped to look at this work schedule, it would be weeks before anything could even be considered, let alone planned.

 

I get very overwhelmed when I stop and think of things that way and realize how little time we would get...but when I stop and think short term, it puts me at ease knowing that this week we will get dinner together on Wednesday night, or that he will take me out for lunch when he's on night shift this week...I start to feel a little better knowng that I do get some time with him, albeit not the time I'd prefer [such as an entire weekend..] but atleast its something.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...