Jump to content

Wanting to tell ex good things? WHY


Recommended Posts

Why do I keep feeling the urge to contact my ex or reply to her messages about how I am doing? It's like I want to tell her Hey I'm doing great, I love my job, starting working on this that etc. I find myself during weak times wanting to tell her something good that's going on with me...Even though I am still very sad inside...

 

It's been 15 days of NC on my end btw, 5.5 weeks since breakup, together 3.5 years, we lived together, she dumped me, and I moved 6 hours away. She has sent me a couple emails and a text since I cut her off (I had texted her to stop emailing, texting, and calling me). She has a new boyfriend now too (for almost 2 weeks now).

 

ugh.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think it's because you are eager to show change and hope that she comes back...

That's the same thing I did in the beginning but it really didn't work. When she texts you do what I'm gonna start doing... Ignore it! That's what she does so I'm doing the same!

 

Be like the marines.. Expect the best but prepare for the worst because she might not come back

your situation sounds just like mine.. I'm glad to hear you kept your cool... I'm married so i can't go nc but I decided today that I am

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think it's due to her being the only person you wanted to show what you've done to make her proud of you like when you were together.

 

It was 3 and a 1/2 years you two had been together.

 

It's only been a few weeks of you being alone which she is not.

What you are doing is what you know.

But then in the back of your head there is a part which is trying to say "look.....I'm doing well.....why did you do this?"

 

But she is preoccupied with someone elses attention.

She wants to feel without burden doing what she desires.

Hence trying to make you come accross and friendly and completely fine she is with someone else.

To sound like you are doing great without her.

Single.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think it is a case of pride. We want to show them that we are moving on and don't need them. Or it could just be that she was the one who you spent the last 3 1/2 years turning to when you wanted to share news and it is just habit to want to tell her the good things that are happening to you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If I respond to her am I being counterproductive to my hopes for long-term (months later) reconciliation?

 

I don't want to seem childish or anything. It was just the weekend before I informed her of the NC that she texted me after having sex with some other guy, and I subsequently called her a * * * * * ...When I went NC, I did it in such a way that showed I was a little angry, but I also wished her well. I made sure I did that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I went through this too with my ex. And I actually did make phone calls to tell him how good things were going. Then, I realized there was no point and that I actually DID NOT enjoy talking to him. So I stopped.

 

Yeah, you are probably right, it wont change a thing. I definitely am not going to call her, but I want to text her or email her. From what I have gathered, she seems extremely happy with this new guy. Seems like she is really throwing herself at him...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just want to increase the chances of a reconciliation one day...I know it's bad for me to say that right now, but I am just so hung up on this girl. I obsessively think about her every day, even when I am at work, with friends, or working out.

 

I am hoping that her new relationship is just a rebound...this is bad, but I know her email pass and have been snooping. She is throwing herself at this guy like a ton of bricks. It's not like he was the first one to show interest, either...she chose him out of a group of guys she was talking to online. She has been driving 3.5 hrs to where he lives the past 2 weekends (she HATES driving, too!) On their first date, they met halfway and slept together in a hotel! 3 days later, she applies for a job in the town he lives in! She posts pics on fb of him playing football in his league (she HATES football, too, * * * ?) and also pics of her and one of his huge dogs (she HATES dogs, too!!! * * * ).

She talks about how good looking he is, he makes her laugh, etc etc...to me it is just something physical.

 

 

God, this OCD is killing me.

 

I think it's due to her being the only person you wanted to show what you've done to make her proud of you like when you were together.

 

It was 3 and a 1/2 years you two had been together.

 

It's only been a few weeks of you being alone which she is not.

What you are doing is what you know.

But then in the back of your head there is a part which is trying to say "look.....I'm doing well.....why did you do this?"

 

But she is preoccupied with someone elses attention.

She wants to feel without burden doing what she desires.

Hence trying to make you come accross and friendly and completely fine she is with someone else.

To sound like you are doing great without her.

Single.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...