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advice needed: son's girlfriend


dolphinus

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My son's girlfriend is very lazy...she offers to help around the house, but never completes tasks, or leaves to a friend's house before she finishes something. She sleeps almost all day, tells my son she is tired, sick, etc. but evening comes and she is demanding that they go somewhere and do something....he works, she doesn't. She does not contribute anything, does not look for work and finds all sorts of excuses why she can't find work...I offered to help her with courses on line, she hasn't followed through on anything....she promises to start getting up in the morning, she sleeps in til 2 or 3 or 4, and then tells my son she can't stand it that I ask her to clean up their room....this has been going on for 5 months...my son loves her, and I think she cares for him, but my goodness, I have never seen anyone like this!

I would like to either help her with school, or have her get a job and help with household tasks,,,she threatens to leave when I ask her to help, then my son gets upset. She can be very sweet, and I am beginning to think it is all a big manipulation so she can continue to freeload and do nothing.

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welcome to enotalone.

 

my goodness, this is YOUR HOUSE!!!! I presume your name is on the mortgage/rental agreement? i would tell this little freeloader that if she doesn't either start doing chores and giving you rent, you are going to kick her out. END OF STORY!!!

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I agree with Annie. This is YOUR house and you should be setting expectations and guidelines that you run your home by. If she doesn't like it, then of course she is welcome to leave. You should not be bowing to her in your own home. You are enabling her freeloading by putting up with this.

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I'd offer both her and son the opportunity to find better accommodations at another hotel. If they're out within 2 weeks, I'd pay their landlord first and last months' rent, and I'd let them take some linens and come for breakfast to do their laundry on Sundays.

 

Problem solved -and- you get to keep good guy status.

 

Other option: if they fail to launch in 2 weeks, they'd be out and the locks would be changed without benefit of first and last month paid wherever they go.

 

You're currently not doing these charmers any favors by teaching them to walk all over others. The rest of the world won't put up with that.

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