Just not that into me?

[KH26]

I've only just woken up and am in a bit of a hurry so didn't read all through the thread sorry! But to me it does seem like he's interested just worried that things are going too fast. Maybe he thought if he invited you in after dinner it would lead to sex which he's not ready for yet. Everyone's different.

 

My boyfriend was like this. Maybe I should have made a move first too but when we first met it took him ages to pluck up the courage to hold my hand and kiss me. And for a long time I did wonder if I should just end it because we weren't getting anywhere. I was really worried he wasn't interested. But then the first time he kissed me his face lit up. Then around the same time I held his hand at the cinema and again, his face lit up. He is really shy. I can see that when we're around other people he don't know. And maybe that the time he was just worried that things were going to move too fast for him.

 

But anyway. Things are great now. We've been together a year and I'm very glad I didn't end it because I thought he wasn't interested.

 

Sorry, rambling. But to me it does seem like he's interested just taking things slow. And that's good he's asked about your plans for next weekend. See how things go. Maybe after a while if things still aren't progressing then ask him why? I don't know. But still, a month is quite soon I guess. Be patient, I'm sure it will work out fine.

 

Good luck!

[Batya33]

Given what happened I would give him at least twice the space he seems to want - I think he is still interested in you but a bit on the fence (who knows why) so let him take more of the lead at least for this week and this coming weekend.

[Ammy]

Given what happened I would give him at least twice the space he seems to want - I think he is still interested in you but a bit on the fence (who knows why) so let him take more of the lead at least for this week and this coming weekend.

 

Okay what annoys me slightly thought is that he has pushed things from day 1... it's only the last week that I started to try a bit more, before that I was wayyy more nonchalant (why? because I was unsure about him - on the fence myself), as soon as I started to feel something more, I started to try a bit harder, he seemed to recoil - but only slightly.

 

Besides not inviting me in on Friday night, he has been the one pushing everything - he texts me every day, I didn't ask for daily contact, nor did I give it except that he texted me so I replied. Even this morning, he texted me first thing unprovoked.

 

He also asked me out multiple times in a week, another thing that I was not pushing for. I have never had to do the chasing... Friday night was the only time I felt let down.

 

I realise now that I was stressing about ONE thing, when everything else has been powered by him.

 

I don't believe he is on the fence about me anymore (given the interaction we have had today AND his past actions - taking down his profile, inviting me over, meeting his friends), I think this is his way of dating, slow and steady...

 

Ammy

[Capricorn3]

I don't see what the problem is...

I was thinking the same thing.

 

He does seem interested, but you do tend to jump to conclusions so quickly - the minute something didn't go quite as expected, you immediately think the worst and before you know it, you talk about giving up or backing off and next thing you know, it's all over (again). You hardly give things time to develop at a normal pace, which can be slow and steady for many.

Many many months ago I said in numerous of your threads, it's a case of self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

Take a deep breath and relax. Don't over think and over analyze - it's a killer.