Jump to content

Does no contact work properly the second time if you mess it up the first time?


jhonnyboy

Recommended Posts

Help me guys!

Guys this is the first time I'm posting something and I need some help real badly!

 

Me and my girl broke up last December. I tried begging, pleading and did almost everything you can possibly do but nothing worked. So i thought i'll go in to no contact so I told her that i accept the break up and I went into no contact for two weeks and it started to work. She started text messaging me saying she misses me and her life is miserable without me and everything and said she is waiting to get back but needs some time. I should have not done anything but I got carried away and started persuading her to get back. But now things have gone back to where we started off from and she is saying that she is not sure as to whether she will get back or not but she said she wants to go for some ice cream with me on Tuesday. I've been in contact with her for almost a month now after breaking the no contact rule but I'm thinking of going into no contact again but don't know if she will see right through it if i tell her that i am breaking up with her again..I miss her like nothing and every time I see her I feel it even more..I want her back.what should i do??

 

Please please help me!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is my first giving advice, but I think in your case you should go get ice cream with her, but the one thing you need to do is not persuade her, I think now that she's initiating hanging out with you and mentioned she's miserable without you that you could hang out with her, be cool, and make her miss being with you

 

just my 2 cents

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think you need to find a really good reason why you would need to go NC again. Like one day say " i've been thinking it over and I need to get some space and get my head on correctly" or something else meaningful that would apply to your relationship. Either that or just slowly fade off, but that is supremely difficult. If you can avoid the ice cream that may be a good idea too. But get a consensus from the other posters first.

 

Good Luck!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

she said she was miserable without me some time back..but ever since I started persuading her she is backing away. And when I asked her what happened to all that she said about missing me and everything she says she missed me and not anymore. She also said she is doing good being alone and doesn't miss me and does not feel miserable and lonely. But she also said that she can't think of another guy and that I am the best option she has if she is ever going to get a boyfriend.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

All right Jhonny, first thing you need to do is relax. Your girl asked for some space, but got lonely and reached out to you. You sensed an opportunity and pushed too hard. The good news is there is no reason to panic.

 

If you aren't sure what she wants then it is in your best interest to maintain limited contact (LC) with her. This will keep you from pushing her too hard while she takes the time to figure out what she wants. While doing this you need to keep yourself occupied so you don't try to figure out what she is thinking or worrying if/when she will contact you. So let her initiate contact for the time being.

 

She wants to go out with you for ice cream? As long as you aren't feeling too emotional you should go. You should be able to go and have fun and enjoy her company. I want to address what 10206 said about "making her miss you". You can't make your girlfriend/ex-girlfriend do anything What you can do is put effort into being the kind of guy you want to be. And if she likes that, then that is good for the both of you!

 

Hopefully LC will get you through the next few days to weeks. She knows that you are around and that you care for her. Let her decide what she wants.

 

Best of luck!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

haha you know what I meant Drew, but yeah Johnny I agree alot with what Drew said, the only thing I would like to add is to make sure you don't jump the gun again, I know that sounds hard but if it seems like she's close again just let her get the rest of the way herself, it sounds like the issues are hers to get through and pressuring her is the worst thing you can do

 

and good luck!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks guys!

There is something else that is bothering me..day before yesterday she told me that she knows no matter what happens i will always love her..even if she does the worst mistakes..and she herself told me that she likes me still..I'm wondering if she will come back to me if she continues to think that I'm there for her. Should i create a fear of loss in her or should i continue to make her feel that way?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Should i create a fear of loss in her or should i continue to make her feel that way?

 

Lol, don't continue a fear of loss, just be yourself and keep moving ahead. If or when you feel she is taking you for granted, you can deal with it and take the necessary steps, which may involve distancing yourself from her.

 

At this stage, i wouldn't play any games, just be patient, but don't neglect your own needs either.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...