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helenia

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Hello, I need some advice...

 

Ten days after our break-up (I was the one who left him... yeah mistake), my ex started to date a new girl. I tried to beg him back (big mistake again), but he just pushed me away. He said he didn't want to break his current relationship for an old relationship that has hurt him. But the thing is, we both had issues and we were both hurt.

 

I really want him back. I really do love him. I am willing to do everything just to make our next relationship work, if we really can have one again.

 

But he is unavailable now. I asked him back but he said that he loves the girl so he can't come back. When I heard this, I gave up all hope and stopped contacting him. However, only a few days later, he sent an email and said that he was feeling guilty and sorry (?). I replied and said that it was okay that I was doing fine (I didn't want him to know that I was still thinking of him). Then he stopped responding.

 

All this situation is hurting me. I want to use NC in order to help me get through this and obviously to get him back. But I wonder if it is the right thing to do knowing that...

 

- He is currently in a relationship (rebound...I just can't believe that he could have completely gotten over me since he started dating just ten days after...)

- He sees his new girlfriend more often than me because they live in the same town...

- He didn't reply to my last message

- He has been hurt when we were together (we both were because we were both careless)

- He said no when I asked him back because he said he loves the girl.

 

I don't want to use the NC rule if it would be useless after all...

 

Please help me... I know it sounds kinda lame and stupid because I am still young but I am desperate he was such a good lover... I know that he still has feelings buried inside him because he told me that when he is with his new gf the feelings aren't just as strong as they were when he was with me...

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I'm really concerned about the amount of people who think NC is just a game to get your ex back. NC is supposed to help you get over the person. It does have side-effects as in your ex might come back to you, but this is never guranteed. If your not going to NC properly don't do it at all I reckon. If the person does return to you it's a bonus, but never use NC if you don't intend to use it for what it's main purpose is - which is to get over the person!

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NC is your only real option. If you continue contact while he's with someone else, you'll come off as clingy and meddling--and that could blow it for you if his new relationship falls apart.

 

I'd back off and adopt a vision of the impressive life you'll want to be living on your own should ex find himself growing unhappy with new girl. Allow him the chance to miss you and start wondering about you.

 

Contact sets you back, every time. Your best chance of being viewed as attractive again is to leave him alone and become part of his romantic past.

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