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Why dont women say something if theres a problem ?


infamous

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Why dont women say something if theres a problem ?

 

if things arent going well and there not happy say something men cannot read minds

 

alot of women dont say anything and they will break up with there partner

 

1) do you have more information about the situation?

2) you probably just didn't notice that there was a problem... and she wasn't willing to tell you about it because she expected you to notice

 

With that being said, it isn't your job to fix her problems. You should make it clear to her that if she has a problem with you or the relationship, she needs to voice it. If she can't or won't do that, move on. Now, once you have expressed this to her, go no contact. And I mean strict no contact (unless you weren't being attentive enough).

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I know many women that complain about their men never saying anything if there's a problem either. I don't think this is a gender specific problem.

 

What happened? Can you give us more info?

 

my ex and i were madly in love we were together for 12 months

hse was pushing to get engaged and it put alot of pressure on me because mentally and financially i wasnt ready she is 28 i am 26

i started a new business and started working flat out to save a deposit for a house for us

in the meantime i dnt show her as much attention and love in actions just words

we had a few arguements of stupid stuff but that was because i was stressed and tired

i worked 6 days a week and saw her 5 or 6 nights a week we didnt do that much dinner coffee or sit in the car or go to her brothers house

i always said to her i am not going no where i want to be with u forever

and in the end she left me and didnt give me a reason she said she felt numb

she did everything to proe she was serious about me and then left

i found out later she started speakin to another guy 3 days before the break up

3 and half months down the track i now find out she is in a relationship with him

 

i have been in lc the whole time but now i told her this week i love her and im not gona stick my nose between her and this guy

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i found the same thing with my ex. i told her if ever there was something up she should tell me but she never did and we had a horrible break up and i never found out why but she hated me. girls and their secrets.

 

and why do you feel bad about her inability to talk to you? You can't accept someone else's problems or inadequacies. You can be you, and if that isn't enough for them, then they don't deserve to be with you.

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I don't know...I feel like most women do say something to some degree, but men don't pick up on it or don't realize the importance of it. Maybe we do need to be more straightforward, but I don't think that's necessarily gender-specific. I know lots of guys that have trouble expressing themselves emotionally and then suddenly bolt.

 

Communication is hard. We all need to work on it better. That's why I really value the guys that help me communicate and listen and stay to work out problems rather than bolt.

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I did something wrong to a girl once. I didn't mean to, but she was so angry and closed off to me. I asked her to please tell me what I did so I could apologize and make it right and never do it again. This is what I got: if you don't know then I'm not going to tell you.

 

What kind of passive aggressive, closed off communication is that?!? I would never even THINK about saying that to someone who wanted to apologize and do whatever it took to make it right.

 

I still dont know what I did.

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I did something wrong to a girl once. I didn't mean to, but she was so angry and closed off to me. I asked her to please tell me what I did so I could apologize and make it right and never do it again. This is what I got: if you don't know then I'm not going to tell you.

 

What kind of passive aggressive, closed off communication is that?!? I would never even THINK about saying that to someone who wanted to apologize and do whatever it took to make it right.

 

I still dont know what I did.

 

And the reply is: "Let me know when you're willing to talk about it", and then you walk away. Life is too short for these kind of games. And when I say walk away, I mean you go no contact (unless you've been distant with them). Either the relationship wasn't good anyway, in which case you're better off... or they'll realize they're being silly and that you matter to them, in which case you're better off.

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And the reply is: "Let me know when you're willing to talk about it", and then you walk away. Life is too short for these kind of games. And when I say walk away, I mean you go no contact (unless you've been distant with them). Either the relationship wasn't good anyway, in which case you're better off... or they'll realize they're being silly and that you matter to them, in which case you're better off.

 

Agreed! That's awful using a line like that. I hope it's some comfort to know that many girls don't do that (at least among the ones I know).

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Agreed! That's awful using a line like that. I hope it's some comfort to know that many girls don't do that (at least among the ones I know).

 

I told the ex tonight that I should've been a man a long time ago in our relationship. She deserved to be put in her place when she was playing her games, but I didn't recognize them as games at that time. I definitely do now, and perhaps we wouldn't be where we are now if I was then who I am now. It's irrelevant. I'm better off now knowing she's the gaming type, and you're better off leaving a girl that wants to play these kind of games too. It's a sign of immaturity. If it's "big enough" to hold against someone, it's big enough to talk to them about it.

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and why do you feel bad about her inability to talk to you? You can't accept someone else's problems or inadequacies. You can be you, and if that isn't enough for them, then they don't deserve to be with you.

 

 

 

i feel bad that she couldnt talk to me. i tried everything i could and maybe it was just that she felt she couldnt say it to me but i feel something in her head must have made her keep things rather than tell me if that makes any sense

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i feel bad that she couldnt talk to me. i tried everything i could and maybe it was just that she felt she couldnt say it to me but i feel something in her head must have made her keep things rather than tell me if that makes any sense

 

So, if you tried to get her to share with you, and she wouldn't... why do you feel bad? It's HER issue. She couldn't share with you? It isn't your fault, it's her's. Let her know "when you're ready to talk to me, let me know", and until that point, you disappear... (unless the problem was you being distant). If it's big enough for her to hold against you, it's big enough for her to talk to you about it.

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So, if you tried to get her to share with you, and she wouldn't... why do you feel bad? It's HER issue. She couldn't share with you? It isn't your fault, it's her's. Let her know "when you're ready to talk to me, let me know", and until that point, you disappear... (unless the problem was you being distant). If it's big enough for her to hold against you, it's big enough for her to talk to you about it.

 

Yeah, the more you try, the more you're going to feed her habits. I agree with captain james and just tell her (nicely but firmly) you'll be ready to listen when she's ready to talk and then just go about your business. I wouldn't completely disappear, but treat the issue as nonexistent until she wants to talk about it. She'll probably sulk for a little bit and then talk to you. Or if she doesn't and willing to break it off then that shows how little she cared. If you do end up giving in, you're setting yourself up for a very exhausting relationship.

 

I had a passive aggressive ex and it was exhausting trying to get him to talk. The more I tried, the more it pushed him away. So glad in hindsight not to be there anymore.

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We tell you when things are bothering us all the time, but most men only hear what they want to hear. You guys have REAL selective hearing. After a awhile, we give up and leave. That's it in a nutshell. Sometimes when you do listen, you tell us to quit complaining and go back to the game. I know men and women communicate differently, and I know you really love your women, but you say we don't tell you things when we really do, you just don't hear us.

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i juts wasnt ready for commitment she was but if u love someone u should wait

 

the guy shes with now is her age 28 he was engaged till sept last year whn it broke down and it seems they are both rebounding on eachother can this work ?

 

There may be a possibility that it can work, or not...

 

However, I think it's best that you go NC with her completely.

 

She made her bed and now she has to lie in it.

 

In the meantime, hang in there.

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Hinting or expecting anyone to know someones feelings is never good.

 

Even people who live under the same roof and sleeping the same bed everyday and night won't know unless they tell them straight up.

 

The worse thing is to assume you know what they are thinking and to assume they know what you are thinking.

 

I know of a female who left her partner because she said they weren't compatible due to not knowing what she was thinking.

Believed because of this they were not meant for each other.

 

If you SO is doing something you don't like.....TELL THEM!

If they don't get it and it really pisses you off pack a tantrum!

 

Sometimes human beings are just like dogs.....they will love you but sometimes you have to yell at them to make them stop digging a hole.

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My ex wife was like that. She never said what was wrong, she just kept quiet and let things get past the point of no return. It was only after 3 months after she walked out that she finally told me the real reason she left, which is she was cheating.

 

I think what a lot of men need to realize is that some women expect you to just know what is wrong with them automatically from the hints they drop. I've never been one to not express to my SO how I'm feeling, and because of that I've never done half the stuff they have to me. I don't get passive/aggressive, only answer "nothing" when asked what is wrong and withhold affection.

 

I've watched a lot of couples break up because the woman would talk to everyone but her partner about how she was feeling and what was wrong in her mind. And, sadly, most of the time the "advice" they are given is to "dump his butt" and/or find another man. It's like I said in another thread:

 

If you have a problem with me...TELL ME! DO NOT tell your friends, your mom and sisters, your hairdresser, etc. They are going to either tell you what you want to hear or get you to be as miserable as they are. If your friends and family come from a string of broken homes and bad relationships, why in God's name would you listen to those fools in the first place? And believe me, they have no idea how a man thinks because they are not one. When you find yourself on the verge of spilling your guts to one of these people, STOP. Remember that we can't fix it if we don't know it's broke. And whining and crying to these people doesn't help one bit.

 

Yes, it's really that simple.

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Why dont women say something if theres a problem ?

 

if things arent going well and there not happy say something men cannot read minds

 

alot of women dont say anything and they will break up with there partner

 

I think it's because women are very hopeful. They hope for things to get better on it's own. Of course, not all women are like that, but there are plenty of women in abusive relationships, and the only reason they don't leave is because they have hope it'll get better.

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In my case, when I tried to talk to my ex about certain things , he'll assumed he knew what I'm thinking about and what I want. I cannot freely expressed my feelings to him, because before I could finish, he'll finish it off for me. It got old for a while, since then I rather talk to those ppl on helplines. My ex isnt very expressive either, I have no idea what's going inside his head.

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