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almost 4 months since the b/u


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The world seems colorless...laughter feels like an insult...all I can think about is her sweet face and beautiful smile...gone..I can't take it anymore...I want no one else...it's so sad...we had a sacred thing together..like no one I've ever been with...

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Okay. So it's been four months. Surprisingly, it gets better. Don't restrict yourself to that. If you want to be emo about it...cool. You'll remain in that state of utter hopelessness. If it was meant to me..it will be. If it's not...you can't continue life like that. She's one person. Sacred or not...it's over. If and until it resumes....life should continue. To place all your happiness and hopes into one person is illogical. She is human..and therefore flawed. It's time to either move on....or get her back...but the emo thing won't help you.

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Okay. So it's been four months. Surprisingly, it gets better. Don't restrict yourself to that. If you want to be emo about it...cool. You'll remain in that state of utter hopelessness. If it was meant to me..it will be. If it's not...you can't continue life like that. She's one person. Sacred or not...it's over. If and until it resumes....life should continue. To place all your happiness and hopes into one person is illogical. She is human..and therefore flawed. It's time to either move on....or get her back...but the emo thing won't help you.

 

Damn.

 

Most truthful post I have ever seen in a long time around here. Well said, IGO.

 

OP... It's going to hurt. It'll hurt for a while. Love is not something that doesn't turn off on it's own. It takes time for it to naturally fade away.

 

The good news?

Like flowers, love needs tender loving care.

Flowers need the sun and water for it to stay healthy and grow.

Love needs someone else's love in order to continue to grow.

 

NC will help you "cut off" the supply that your love for her has.

Your love for her will fade away as each day, week, month, etc. goes by without talking to her, without seeing her, etc.

 

Your heart will heal.

You'll be stronger. Smarter.

And the next time around, you'll love another person and become a great boyfriend.

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The world seems colorless...laughter feels like an insult...all I can think about is her sweet face and beautiful smile...gone..I can't take it anymore...I want no one else...it's so sad...we had a sacred thing together..like no one I've ever been with...

 

i feel exactly the same coming up to 4 months and shes in a relationship with someone else

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Okay.. Bungalo.. My X broke up with me 2.5months ago, and yeah it still stings a little. She is already in a new relationship despite her saying her and I would get married and have a family. But Know what?

None of that matters.

Sometimes tough love is what is needed. And you need to accept that she is gone. Knock her off of that pedestal and work on YOU.. yes YOU. You have two options, you can continue to wallow in your own self pity and be the only guest in your own pity party or you can do something about it. I can tell you right now if you were to ever think you want her back she will not be attracted to someone who is down, negative and doesnt love life anymore. She will be attracted to someone who smiles, has fun, is happy and enjoys life. If you attracted her once, you can probably do it again, but I am guessing when you attracted her the first time, you were not the host of your own pity party were you?

Of course not. You won her heart over, you made her smile and you made her laugh, you attracted this girl and she fell for you. But you have to remember who you were. You are feeling like this cause your poured so much of yourself into her you forgot your identity. Time to get out of your pity pool, stop your pity party and stand the heck back up. Okay, she knocked you down, are you going to sit there and cry another 4 months or are you going to pick yourself back up, dust yourself off?

She is gone my friend, Okay food is tasteless and the world is colorless. I hurt too, but I am NOT going to let my X beat me. You need to man up! Its tough love, but its what you need, stand up!

 

Life does get better my friend. Fear and pain will always find you, but you have to work hard for true happiness. Yes, it does get better. I am not with anyone right now, but doesnt mean I am not happy. Being with someone only compliments and enhances your joy, its not ment to replace it. So I have to tell you, knock it off! If you get knocked down 8 times you stand up 9 times. Dont let her know she beat you. Never let them see what they did to you. The second you become happy and move on, she will find you and probably wonder why you are so happy again. Its just how it is with love.

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For those of us that tried to get them back, the pain can be intensified as a result, especially if in the back of your mind it just feels so unbelievable you won't get back together. I'm only sharing this next part because I know you are spiritual. I feel more cheerful today after making a decision to go back to mass tomorrow. I haven't been in years. I'm choosing a super beautiful cathedral with choir/ wonderful music services. Oddly, right after making that decision a sense of gentle peace came over me. My spirit is so ready to turn this over to God. I still feel a sense of moderated hope for the future with my love, but it's somehow accompanied by an acceptance of where things stand right now.

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Why would she say we could be friends and hang out and yet she doesn't pick up the phone? ...We talked about going for walks, and I mentioned having her over for dinner...and she said sure..(the last time we spoke 2 weeks ago) I hve no idea if she's dating anyone else...we don't have any mutual friends (we do but they were her friends first)...So I know I have to operate under the assumption that she was just being nice...?

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Why would she say we could be friends and hang out and yet she doesn't pick up the phone? ...We talked about going for walks, and I mentioned having her over for dinner...and she said sure..(the last time we spoke 2 weeks ago) I hve no idea if she's dating anyone else...we don't have any mutual friends (we do but they were her friends first)...So I know I have to operate under the assumption that she was just being nice...?

 

She was probably trying to be nice. It's hard to be friends when the dumpee isn't over you and you know that.

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Why would she say we could be friends and hang out and yet she doesn't pick up the phone? ...We talked about going for walks, and I mentioned having her over for dinner...and she said sure..(the last time we spoke 2 weeks ago) I hve no idea if she's dating anyone else...we don't have any mutual friends (we do but they were her friends first)...So I know I have to operate under the assumption that she was just being nice...?

 

She might of said "we can be friends" but is that what you want? And its hard to be friends right after a break up. That stuff takes time to get over. And if you do remain friends and keep in contact, how are you going to feel after she finds another guy? My guess is you are going to be hurt then what? Still friends? Its a tough call so dont look at is as just being placed in the 'friends' category. If you want to remain in contact with her, just be what you can be and nothing more. If a topic hurts you, tell her. If that is the route you want to go, then be prepared for the information that comes with it. The dreaded "I met someone" line will hurt you.

Dont expect her to call you all the time, or her be there for you always. She is moving on with her life. Perhaps you should to.

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