The cold, hard truth - a collection of quotes

[uncomfynumb]

I thought that this might be a good thread for those that are confused and looking for definate answers, a collection of stellar posts from ENA members that outline the cold, hard truth...

 

"There is no demonstration of your feelings that will create the same feelings in another person.

 

In other words, women don't care about how you feel until they feel the same way about you. Your attraction and eager shows of interest do not create attraction in her. In fact, it does quite the opposite. It may flatter her. She may think it's "sweet." But it will not create the feelings of attraction within her that are necessary to get what you want." - oregod

 

(Note: Most of these can probably be applied to both sexes, as in the case of the quote above.)

 

Please feel free to add your own.

[uncomfynumb]

On letting go...

 

"Of course it won't be easy if you don't even try. Stop sulking, complaining, and wallowing in self pity. Go do something productive to occupy your mind and your time. " - DontGetStung

[soulsearchin25]

This is a brilliant post!! I'm gonna keep checking back here as Im sure people will post great advice. That's what i need now....some tough love, the cold hard truth!!

[uncomfynumb]

This is a brilliant post!! I'm gonna keep checking back here as Im sure people will post great advice. That's what i need now....some tough love, the cold hard truth!!

 

 

 

For those that have been fed the line, "It's not you, its me"

 

It really should be, 'it's not you, it's me not loving you anymore.. or me wanting to sneak off without you making a scene about the real reason.' because that is really the gist of it. they may still like you and respect you a lot, but for whatever reason, they don't love you enough anymore to want to be with you, whether the reason is they met someone else, or they're bored with you, or they've decided you're not the one for them., or who knows.... - Lavenderdove

[uncomfynumb]

On getting to the stage of "acceptance"

 

"The sooner the acceptance stage, the better and quicker we move on, I believe. I think the ideal acceptance stage should be from the word go. But then again, we're only human. And all the hope, confusion, panic attacks are holding us back" - LilBear

[uncomfynumb]

On rejection...

 

You know what I always say? .... it doesn't really matter. I know it's hard, but she rejected you. That's what you should focus on. - Ms. Darcy

[uncomfynumb]

On a man's feelings about love and marriage... (and one of my personal favorites)

 

"Coming from a guy's perspective here: I think a man will eventually want to marry a strong confident woman who can stand up for herself and who he really loves. If he doesn't, then just admit that he doesn't really love you. If he's adamant about not getting married what he's really saying is he doesn't want to marry you. I think a woman should place herself first than her man. She's supposed to be the receiver and the man a giver. And when the man can't give her what she's after, she just move on and find another.

 

What you can do from this point is you need to stand firm with your belief. Put your needs first. It's not an ultimatum but simply express your needs to be married, and if doesn't like it, he can walk away and leave you to run your own path because he's just a roadblock at this point." - wayoverit

[hellopeople]

On living:

 

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall”

Don't remember who posted it, but I think it's an actual quote. Just liked it a lot.

[soulsearchin25]

On being emotional and moving on:

 

If you want to be emo about it...cool. You'll remain in that state of utter hopelessness. If it was meant to me..it will be. If it's not...you can't continue life like that. She's one person. Sacred or not...it's over. If and until it resumes....life should continue. To place all your happiness and hopes into one person is illogical. She is human..and therefore flawed. It's time to either move on....or get her back...but the emo thing won't help you.--IGlareOften

[soulsearchin25]

On a man's feelings about love and marriage... (and one of my personal favorites)

 

"I think a woman should place herself first than her man. She's supposed to be the receiver and the man a giver. And when the man can't give her what she's after, she just move on and find another.

 

What you can do from this point is you need to stand firm with your belief. Put your needs first. It's not an ultimatum but simply express your needs to be married, and if doesn't like it, he can walk away and leave you to run your own path because he's just a roadblock at this point." - wayoverit

 

This is absolutely brilliant!!!!

[rigguy]

 

For those that have been fed the line, "It's not you, its me"

 

It really should be, 'it's not you, it's me not loving you anymore.. or me wanting to sneak off without you making a scene about the real reason.' because that is really the gist of it. they may still like you and respect you a lot, but for whatever reason, they don't love you enough anymore to want to be with you, whether the reason is they met someone else, or they're bored with you, or they've decided you're not the one for them., or who knows.... - Lavenderdove

 

 

Does anyone have 'It's not me it's you" line perspective?

[uncomfynumb]

On making excuses for ex's feelings and behavior...

 

People who really want to be with you will overcome huge obstacles to do so. And the inverse is true, that if people don't want to be with you, no matter how easy you make it for them, or how accomodating you are, if they don't want to get back together with you, they won't. So if there are no obstacles to them coming back (i.e., you are ready and willing and they know that), then that should tell you something, as in, they don't want to come back. You can dress that in all kinds of things to try to continue to delude yourself, but really, feelings of love/affection are just one of many reasons why people do or don't stay together. - Lavenderdove

[G-Snap]

From what I have read that guy is just a complete idiot. You should be glad he is out of your life. "Don't throw pearls to the pigs"... EQ>IQ

 

I thought "don't throw pearls to the pigs" was a great way of putting it to women who give way to much to a man who hasn't earned any of their trust or affection.

[EQIQ]

From what I have read that guy is just a complete idiot. You should be glad he is out of your life. "Don't throw pearls to the pigs"... EQ>IQ

 

I thought "don't throw pearls to the pigs" was a great way of putting it to women who give way to much to a man who hasn't earned any of their trust or affection.

 

Well, don't give me credit though lol. That comes from the Bible lol..... (at least the idea does, not the exact wording).

[marshmlofluff]

[Y]up, when their profile is still up on a dating site, it's because they are still looking. It is that simple. -MissKitty

[Liraele]

Resurrecting thread.

 

Kgo!

 

(See sig.)