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Wishing it was more.

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Okay heres the whole story, this is gonna probably be long but theres so much behind it.

I've known this girl ever since before first grade, and shes amazing in every way. Well im now 18 and 4 years ago i started getting feelings for her, soon after so realising i wasnt as straight as i thought. Well over these past four years has been a bumpy road. Me and her have had our share of arguments and all that. But recently its come to the point where thats completely in the past. Weve been getting closer. I love her so much and have told her that. and i have a strong feeling its the same for her but im unsure.

Now for my age im a bit immature, really lasy and all. But ever since stuff has been happening my mind is like going in a different direction. I've accuatly been thinking bout getting a job and everything. Been helping around the house more often and just been in a different state of mind as to how people are used to me as being.

Abit about her, shes amazing, mature, nice and jus wonderful. Shebeen there for me my whole life, even when we were not on the same page it seemed like she was still there.

Everyday i spend with her i love/want her more and more. And when shes not around, like right now shes sleepin on the couch, even with her jus that far away it feels like im not the same...like im the old me and it hurts. I wish we could be more but im just to nervous/scared to ask. Is there a way i can ask without getting so nervous?

And how can i tell if she really likes me, ive paid attention to everything she does/acts but at thesame time i just dont know. She hasnt exactly admitted she liked me but it seems as if shes makeing signs to it. Any help would be appreciated.

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