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FWB turning into something more..


temptazn

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we've been doing the FWB thing for about 6months now, and i started to get feelings for him.. i noticed he started too as well - texting waaay more often, spending more time together, the way he looks at me etc..

 

and then he started getting really distant. saying that he felt like we were becoming too much like being in a relationship and he wanted to back off a bit because he is no where near ready to be in a relationship.

 

i am not ready for a r'ship either so i was fine with it.

but he backed off a bit too much for my liking, to the point where it made me sad a lot. so i thought maybe it was time to cut things from him.

 

we caught up on Sunday and what was suppose to be the moment i cut him turned into a 3hour conversation about how we feel about each other and we both realised we actually really care about each other, it was so intense, i guess we both knew we did have feelings there but we denied them for so long..

 

his past r'ship hurt him so much that his perspective of a r'ship was pretty much non-existant. he said that i opened him up to that possibility again but he doesnt know how much time he will need before he believes he has built himself up & is ultimately ready to be with someone.

 

now im not sure what to do.. im not ready to be in a relationship either at this point, but now that we know feelings are involved now what?? i know i'm going to start liking this guy more and more further down the track but then whats going to happen?

 

this guy has really confused me..because he says that he doesnt want what we have to fall into a routine but he still wants to see me from time to time- i took that as him wanting me to be a booty call.

but then he goes on about how he cares for me so much and that he knows that he needs to be alone and walk his path to finding himself again but he cant let me go because he knows that what we could have together, if ever we ended up together could be great.. and he also goes onto saying that he doesnt think my family would approve of him and that he doesnt want to hold me back from what i want to do with my future. and im thinking HANG ON we both aren't even in a r'ship yet you're talking about this stuff already?

 

i think i would be happy to continue with what we have on the basis that hes not distant from me again.. but if we did continue could it ever be the same since there are feelings involved now?

 

sorry if this post doesnt make a lot of sense.. i'm finding it hard to put everything that happened and how i'm feeling down into words. thanks in advance for your help..

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This guy talks out of both sides of his mouth...he says one thing then says another. Bottom line, you are his Fbuddy and he is not interested in anything more. As much as you say you don't want a relationship, it sounds like you do but since he doesn't you are trying to convince yourself that what you have now is fine. The longer you continue on this Fbuddy road, the more you will ultimately get hurt. I would suggest you bail out now because he has made it crystal clear that whatever feelings he has is not enough to make him want to be in any kind of official relationship with you.

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