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Want him but don't know how to get him.

plain jane

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I've been extremely attracted/infatuated with this guy for the past few months. We'll call him David. We're both 18. I know it sounds unusual but at first I liked him even though I'd never spent time with him. David is my best friend's (Jeremy's) friend and I've heard so much about David through him that I fell in love with his personality even without knowing him that well and only seeing him a couple of times.


I was attracted to him for a long time and chose not to do anything about it realizing that I couldn't do anything to pursue someone I was so unacquainted with.


He began to hang out with this girl Marcy and I guess they're best friends now. They don't go out but I suspect there may possibly be something going on between them, however I'm not going to count myself out until I know for sure. They definitely treat each other as friends whenever I see them and I know they both want significant others. Also, one time they were talking about moving into their friends apartment but were hesitant because they each wanted their own room. This kinda disproves my suspicion and makes me think I may have a chance.


Anyway I began to hang out with my ex boyfriend Anthony as friends (we went out way back when I was 15 and it wasn't too serious, I have no feelings for him any more) and coincidentally he befriended David and Marcy and the 3 of them spend a lot of time together now. As a result I often get to hang out with David and Marcy as well, though only through Anthony. We're not close enough so that I can call David up to hang out or anything. It'd be really unexpected and random, we're not that close yet, we're more like acquaintances.


The obvious thing to do would be to tell Anthony how I feel about David so he could help me. I was on the verge of doing that when one day he confessed that he had feelings for me. Given that, I feel that asking him to help set me up with David would be a bit insensitive. That option is out.


I don't know what to do now. I'd love to just sit around waiting for David to make the move but I have a feeling that's not gonna happen, given he's the shy type and he probably has absolutely no idea how I feel about him. I've made the mistake of waiting around for a guy to make the move before, and ended up finding out that months after I was already in a relationship with someone else that he'd liked me the whole time and I could've had him if I would've had the guts to make the move. I don't want something like that to happen again.


What do I do from here? Any help would be greatly appreciated but I think I guy's input will be especially useful here.


Thank you, and sorry for the long post.


Edit Also, I can't ask my best friend Jeremy for help either because he also happens to be an ex boyfriend who still has feelings for me. I know that it's a bit of a sticky situation but that's not the point of this post.

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Yeah as usual you girls expect the man to make the first move and do all the work. My advice to you would be to try and talk to David more and then ask him out, in other words take the initiative for a change.

I don't expect him to, I want him to. There's a difference. I don't believe men should have to do all the work at all. However, I've heard stories of men getting really turned off by a woman that takes "initiative" and it makes me pretty wary of doing so myself. The double standard of men having to ask women out works both ways and can affect both genders negatively.


That being said, like I said before I plan to make a move but I don't really know how to go about it. I don't have much experience with this sort of thing.


Thank you for your advice. Makes me a little more comfortable knowing that some guys don't care if a girl makes the first move.



add David to your facebook, and strike up a conversation there

Lol, I don't have facebook.

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if he does, get it?


What's wrong with not having Facebook? From where I sit, I am not missing much by not having one. I have a phone, people can call me!


But back to OP Facebook is certainly one way, once you get to know him better have a coversation about movies or something (preferrably IRL or at least on the phone), find out what He wouldn't mind seeing, say that you wouldn't mind seeing it, then He may ask you to go see it. If you feel comfortable enough to ask him yourself, do it. If you ask him out and He declines, he probably isn't interested that way.

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