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Lately I have just been thinking alot about stuff and there are alot of serious questions I want to ask people in my life:

 

To my mother: Would you ever forgive me if I killed myself?

To my friend: Would you still associate with me if I was gay?

To a couselor: How do I stop thinking about cutting myself and suicide?

To my sister: Would you let me see my nieces if I were gay?

To my friend/teacher: Will you still respect me if you found out I am not as strong as I appear?

 

Too much to think about at one time. I just needed to put it somewhere.

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Actually thanks for posting this. I think I'm going to try. I too have so many questions(i think everyone does) that I want to ask but am afraid to. Can I ask you, what do you think the answers to these questions might be? Im just asking because sometime sI can imagine what people would say.....Do you have any idea?

 

Sounds like your seeking acceptance from your loved ones and carrying a heavy burden

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I think it would be easier for everyone to ask questions if they didn't have to worry about whether the responses are good or bad. Just view the answer as answer and not put judgement on it. So I think alot of questions never get answered.

 

I have tried to guess the answers to the questions I asked. I don't know if I should really ask them. I really want to.

 

To my mother: Would you ever forgive me if I killed myself?

No. I don't think she would.

 

To my friend: Would you still associate with me if I was gay?

Yes, but I think she would stick me with that label instead of letting me be a person who happens to be attracted to men.

 

To a couselor: How do I stop thinking about cutting myself and suicide?

I really have no guess to this one

 

To my sister: Would you let me see my nieces if I were gay?

I don't know. I lean towards yes, but I doubt it.

 

To my friend/teacher: Will you still respect me if you found out I am not as strong as I appear?

I don't know.

 

Am I trying to seek acceptance? I just can't not have answers anymore.

 

What are some questions you have?

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You make an excellent point. Fear of the answers that we will receive especially from loved ones is so great. Too risky.

 

Questions I would ask. Its hard to even consider But here they are and the answers I think I'd get:

 

To my ex:

If I stop chasing after you would you love me enough to come back on your own?

"I dont know how I feel. I need time. I do love you but I dont hink right now that I'll ever come back to you"

 

To my friend:

If you knew how miserable my life was and that I had just though of ending my life would you still remain my friend without the pity?

"I would feel really sorry for you. I would be ther as much as possible though. We've been through alot I wont leave you"

 

Also to my ex:

Is this girl your talking to now not a serious thing or do you really see yourself maybe falling for her?

"I know it's really soon after our breakup but I just want to forget about you. She's my new sweetheart new and I'm gonna try my best to make her the one"

 

To myself:

Will you admit that the reason you fall aprt every so often is because for the past few years you have based your happiness and worth on how much a man loves you?

"Yes, its true. I find it hard to be alone and I need someone elses love because deep down I'm afraid I can't make myself happy"

 

To my next potential boyfriend (if ever there is one):

Can you truly love me inspite of the fact that I have had my heart trampled, actually been the cheater before and am a general mess sometimes?

"I can't see past what you used to be no matter how much you changed and grown. You have too much baggage."

 

 

These are just some. There is more. And some deeper ones that Im even afraid to write. Wow, that was tough to write.

 

You say you can't not have anymore answers.... Are you planning on asking them soon?

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Should that risk stop us from asking though. Is it better to deny myself, than to ask.

 

Those are really hard questions that you went through. It is even harder when they aren't what we might want to hear.

 

I don't know if I am going to ask. The questions help to put me into a what if situation. More like the answers to the questions would help me make decisions about my life.

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No the risk should not stop you from asking. But I know what you mean when you you make your decisions about life based on the possibilities. SOmetimes I find though that because I think that the possibilty is that I may be hurt I tend to run away instead of facing it. If you were to face these things you are going through right now I would think that would be very brave of you. Sometimes I dont know whats harder to be ourselves or to not be ourselves. Especially if there are things we know may not be acceptable to other people

 

And you knwo what after I worte this post I did write the question to myself down. ANd began exploring that a little. I know that doesn't seem big but the issues that came tumbling onto the paper were frightening. So thank you for this post you helped me alot. And I hope that you work through your situation as well......

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I think that taking the time to actually think about them and work through them is bigger than you give yourself credit for.

 

Sometimes it is easier to brush theses questions aside but eventually they will come back and need to be dealt with.

 

I am really glad you found this post helpful. You perspective and posts really helped me think about how to approach this.

 

Best of luck.

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