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My Boyfriend and I never have sex anymore


lockley

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My b/f and I have been together for almost 2 years. We used to live a few hours away from each other and when we would see each other on weekends we would have sex ALL the time, at least 3x per night...

In May we moved in together and the sex slowly fizzled and now we have sex maybe once or twice a month.

I have a very high sex drive and this is not how I pictured my life in a partnership at all...

Any advice?

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In the beginning, there's always a honeymoon stage. Every relationship goes through it and on most occasions, it doesn't always last. Especially when you move in together. A lot of time people move in together because they think they want to always be around that person but in most situations, it's out of convenience. The sex slows down and/or ceases because part of the attraction is being able to miss that person, when they're not always around.

 

You guys should go out on dates, do different and fun things. This happens because when people move in together, they tend to get into a "let's sit on the couch and watch tv/movies" every night. It can get boring and that's all it is.

 

But the most efficient response to this is talk to him. Be open and communicate.

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ah i've been there, and the stereotypes say the guys are the one's with all the sex drive (so not true!). it could have something to do with you moving in together, him maybe thinking that now that you're living together all the time he can take you for granted a bit. that's a huge no no though. i know how frustrating it can be. even if the "honeymoon" period is over, it sounds like he's taking it to extremes. sometimes libidos don't match up and you have to compromise a bit. i'm sure you've tried the seductive thing a million and one times before posting this but doesn't hurt to keep trying. most of all though, i think what theblueman said sounds to make the most sense at this stage- you might just want to come right out and ask him.

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I have asked him, he says he doesn't know why we are having less sex...

I don't care if the honeymoon stage is over I can't have sex once a month...that is not enough for me. When I try to initiate he just doesn't go for it...

It's soo frustrating!

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Another person mentioned the same thing and my response to this situation is: If he doesn't wanna give it to you, then give it to yourself, he'll begin to wonder why you are not asking for it anymore. A lot of the times this is normal in the relationship, Many People go through this face, Just be patient and keep the communication open and discuss your feelings to him. Good Luck!!

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I have asked him, he says he doesn't know why we are having less sex...

I don't care if the honeymoon stage is over I can't have sex once a month...that is not enough for me. When I try to initiate he just doesn't go for it...

It's soo frustrating!

 

Explain to him that this is just not cutting it, And you may possibly have to get out before it's too late...((especially because this is something you need out of your reationship))

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Hey lockley sorry your in this situation i can only imagine your frustration.. Since you already talk to him and made it clear how you feel i don't suggest you keep doing that. I might be different but if i had to keep telling my man to screw me more i would feel really turned off and not sexy at all. Even if he does cave in and gives it up more often how can she really enjoy it if it seems like his only doing it to please her? I don't know what to really tell you.. Have you tried to the whole sexy outfits and romance stuff? I don't want to be all negative but are you sure there's not another women in the picture?

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Hey lockley sorry your in this situation i can only imagine your frustration.. Since you already talk to him and made it clear how you feel i don't suggest you keep doing that. I might be different but if i had to keep telling my man to screw me more i would feel really turned off and not sexy at all. Even if he does cave in and gives it up more often how can she really enjoy it if it seems like his only doing it to please her? I don't know what to really tell you.. Have you tried to the whole sexy outfits and romance stuff? I don't want to be all negative but are you sure there's not another women in the picture?

 

I do feel that way...The more I ask the less I feel like doing it b/c I don't get why i have to ask for it so much.

I am positive there's not another woman. I just don't think he's very sexual and that is even more worrisome.

When we first started dating I gave up a lot of my sexual preferences to be with him-I like it rough, lots of dirty talk etc and he isn't in to any of that and it's just gotten steadily worse...

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ugh therapists

 

you mmoved in together - when it was your place his place it was fun and exciting and you got yourself all psyched up waiting to visit and sexual tension and energy were always high...you have to be aware that this does NOT happen when you move in with someone.

 

Other things take priority, most of them relaxation related - tv, naps, hobbies, friends. you're not going to have that same chemistry as before.

 

Only thing I'd suggest is making Friday night date night like me and my other half has, so that once a week you get dressed and showered etc alone, and take the time to make an effort, then go out and have a lovely night as if you were dating again (instead of cohabiting)

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Probably the most common of complaints from women... it seems like may dwindling sex is quite normal. I think one problem is that women have been so strongly socialized to view sex as so strongly intertwined with the quality of the relationship that they take the absence of sex as an invalidation of it. Relationships have so many dimensions, and although sex is one of them, there is so much more.

 

So many reasons for limited interest in sex - maybe sexual dysfunction, medications, tired, stress, boredom, etc. People are human, and not everyone follows the same script.

 

Whatever is important to you I guess...

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