Will I ever Heal?

[amontalb]

Its one month in to my breakup. People are getting tired of hearing about how I am still sad. Is it still normal to be sad at this point? We only dated 6 months. But it was the best 6 months of my life and now it's over. Over. I still cry and I'm still sad and I don't know how to get out of this.

 

I have had no contact for the last two weeks, but I did send him mom an email this morning. Probably a mistake. She did sent me a heartfelt email back. But I now know that he is losing himself in school and work, which means he has forgotten about me. I feel weak and tired. Tired of feeling this way, tired of crying. I want to get back together, but it is not going to happen. It's not. I have to move on. I want to move on. Im just scared I wont be able to find anyone as great as he was. I have never laughed so much.

 

But I am 21... I have a long time ahead of me. There has to be someone out there for me, right?

[lilypadgirl]

I'm sorry things are so painful. It is a very painful experience.

 

In my experience, my most painful break up, I was still in the same place 6 months later as I was in the very beginning. I wanted to move on, but I couldn't. I realize now (after being far removed and having completely healed) that although I thought I wanted to move on consciously, subconsciously I wasn't letting go. I still held onto that beautiful picture of us that I had created in my head and pining over that loss.

 

In order to move on, you have to admit that it's over and truly want to move on. You're absolutely right, you're 21, you have your entire life ahead of you full of experiences, new loves. There is so much hope and beauty waiting for you. You can get through this!

[ben2010]

I feel your pain I'm in the same place an its only been 3 weeks for me. But I would rather be in your shoes because of age LOL. You are only 21 there are tons of people you can choice. I'm almost 30 and I don't think I will find true love anytime soon. I'm not planning to find any relationship anytime soon.

 

Yes, its very painful try going out with your friends more it will heal the pain fast.

[ben2010]

I feel your pain I'm in the same place an its only been 3 weeks for me. But I would rather be in your shoes because of age LOL. You are only 21 there are tons of people you can choice. I'm almost 30 and I don't think I will find true love anytime soon. I'm not planning to find any relationship at this time.

 

Yes, its very painful try going out with your friends more it will heal the pain fast.

[Clabs]

Hi Amontalb

 

I know it still hurts but one month really is no time at all, even for a 6 month relationship.

 

You seem to accept that this relationship is over for good and that is going to help you to keep walking forward in the long run.

 

Those fears that we will never get over our ex or that we will never find anyone as good again are perfectly normal - I think every single person goes through that. But of course, it is quite ridiculous to think this way, because you were ok before him and you WILL be ok after him.

 

I think you would do yourself a huge favour by not emailing his mother for the time being because it is just going to hold you back in the long run. You really need as few reminders as possible.

 

You ARE still very young and as Lilypadgirl so wonderfully put it, there is so much hope and beauty waiting for you. You know you are funny, outgoing and very optomistic, by your own admission, and whilst it may not feel that way right now, those wonderful qualities will soon shine through again once you start to get your mojo back.

 

Good luck hun and stay strong. Come back here if you need a bit of support or just to vent a bit, ok??

 

Mark

[Jd1983]

Of course there will be someone for you in the future.

 

All you need is time. I know it sounds cliche but it's true.

 

At one point with my first serious bf, I was completely heartbroken. It literally took me years to get over him. However, I finally got over it and I'm in a much better place.

 

Do I ever regret it? No, it was a learning experience and I came out so much stronger at the end.

 

We all go through heartbreaks, but just because you've been hurt in the past it doesn't mean that you won't ever find happiness. Just give it one day at a time. It will only get better from this point forward.

 

Hang in there hun.

[amontalb]

Thank you guys.