Jump to content

CHEATING: You're dating someone & you find out


unknownme

Recommended Posts

the reason the person is no longer in the previous relationship is because they cheated on their partner.....what are your thoughts???
It would have to depend on how long ago was that, how many times did the cheating occurred and if they see their previous cheating as a pattern or one time reckless behavior.

If it was over 3 years old but they have managed to move on with their life without cheating again then there wouldn't be a problem.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

the reason the person is no longer in the previous relationship is because they cheated on their partner.....what are your thoughts???

 

I would want to know why they did it and make an educated decision based on that response to determine whether or not I wanted to invest my time with them.

 

For example, I cheated on some girlfriends when I was younger and dating. I came to the realization of why I would want to cheat and fixed what was wrong with me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry but this begs me to ask the question - If a person cheats once will they always cheat??
More than likely yes but at the same time it would depend on the person. I think there are times it's a case-by-case issue.

If they did it to someone else and you're dating them then you weren't in that moment so it's not your burden. Though I would be very careful about it.

 

There was my ex b/f who once cheated on an ex for revenge. She cheated on him so he did it back to teach her a lesson. It wasn't good but oh well that was long ago, way before meeting him. He never cheated on me though and I broke up for other irrelevant reasons (nothing to do with cheating).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am a believer in giving someone second chances . . . HOWEVER, it would depend on his attitude towards the whole situation. How did you find out about the cheating anyway? Did he disclose that information to you voluntarily? If he acted like he was sincerely regretting the mistake then I might give him the chance. But if he did not express any regret or even was boasting about it then I'd just steer clear of this guy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Did he disclose that information to you voluntarily?

 

The guy I've been seeing for 4 months now, told me after me asking him about how he and his ex broke up, that he had cheated on her as she became annoying ...after 7 years..he didn't go into it..maybe before this relationship gets too deep, and it kinda already is, I should ask him about this again, find out why she became annoying? then i can skidaddle out of this quick fast before i get hurt!!

 

(sorry I'm hijacking thread but I've posted a thread already and can't post another topic for a while yet..)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The guy I've been seeing for 4 months now, told me after me asking him about how he and his ex broke up, that he had cheated on her as she became annoying ...after 7 years..he didn't go into it..maybe before this relationship gets too deep, and it kinda already is, I should ask him about this again, find out why she became annoying? then i can skidaddle out of this quick fast before i get hurt!!

 

(sorry I'm hijacking thread but I've posted a thread already and can't post another topic for a while yet..)

 

Sounds like someone who still doesn't think his actions were so bad. To use "she became annoying" as an excuse to cheat and to even now be so cavalier about it, suggest to me that you should run far away from this guy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well how does he treat you otherwise?

 

I feel that just because a person has cheated on the past, doesn't necessarily mean that they will continue to cheat. The fact that he offered the information to you, shows that he is at least being honest with you.

 

There are some people who has never cheated in the past, but you can't always guarantee that they will never cheat on you. Sometimes things happen. Nothing in life is guaranteed, and sometimes it's pretty much up to whether or not you think he is worth it to take the risk.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sounds like someone who still doesn't think his actions were so bad. To use "she became annoying" as an excuse to cheat and to even now be so cavalier about it, suggest to me that you should run far away from this guy.

 

Actually, correction..he cheated on her because she began to annoy him..and he did explain that things weren't working out, ever since he hasn't cheated (3 years gone) and he'd hate to be cheated on..oops sorry forgot to mention that part!

 

Maybe he is remorseful about it..who knows..

 

Do you think that is enough to proceed with caution or shall I find out more?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well how does he treat you otherwise?

 

I feel that just because a person has cheated on the past, doesn't necessarily mean that they will continue to cheat. The fact that he offered the information to you, shows that he is at least being honest with you.

 

There are some people who has never cheated in the past, but you can't always guarantee that they will never cheat on you. Sometimes things happen. Nothing in life is guaranteed, and sometimes it's pretty much up to whether or not you think he is worth it to take the risk.

 

 

True that!

 

This guy I'm seeing is as good as gold, despite his past I'm willing to take the risk but if you check one of my threads in the 'love' section, I've got myself into a little pickle or a big pickle whichever way one wants to look at it..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'd talk to them about it and follow my feelings about the situation.

 

If I feel it was a one time thing (they were young, they felt guilty with ending the relationship, they learned their lesson) then I'd forgive them.

 

But, if they denied it, made excuses as to (every guy cheats, I'm only human, or she was a b***** who deserved it) I'd probably walk out.

 

It's a case by case thing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The act itself isn't the problem as much as the why. Why did they think it was okay? Why didn't they just end the relationship instead of betraying the person they love? Why was cheating the answer to their problems or perceived problems?

 

I hope I never have to answer this question in real life after what was done to me but I think it would cause an instant lack of trust in a very young relationship. I don't want to be in a relationship like that.

 

Lost

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My boyfriend told me he slept with a young woman in order to pay revenge because his ex wife cheated on him. I didn't think much of it at the time, but I'm sure it contributes to one of my many, many trust issues. Getting revenge on a cheater by cheating only makes you a cheater too. I would (and do) wonder about the person's character if they have cheated in the past. I have a friend who has cheated 4 consecutive times on her boyfriends. She obviously sees nothing wrong with it and thinks she's justified.

 

I do think "once a cheater, always a cheater" in most cases. I have not cheated. I don't think I could.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...