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Never been so confused...


T5521

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So I have just recently broke up with my girlfriend of over 2 years. I can easily say it was my first true love, even though I have dated other girls for decent periods of time.

 

Anyway I am just looking for input on what she is "really saying" when she broke up with me. When we broke up I had just seen her the day before and we had been having our troubles and she agreed that we need to both try and make things better. Then the next day when I called her later she said that we needed to end it. She said that she could not put the time in and did not like the way she was treating me anymore... She said before I was to hate her she needed to break it off, but yet she still loved me and hoped it would work in the future.

 

Now we are both in our early 20's and I feel like she may be afraid of commitment or just want to hook up with other people. In fact I know she has been talking to someone only 3 days after the breakup.

 

The thing that is messed up is that I almost can't blame her, but it just kills me to think of her with someone else. We had talked about how if we were ever to get married that we wouldn't do it till our late 20's atleast.

 

So my plan is to not contact her for atleast a month and it has been two weeks so far and she contacted me the other night to see how I was doing?

 

Anyway any feedback on what I should make of this and what to do next would be much appreciated

 

Thanks!

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yeh like my ex she needed space to clear her head. my ex said to me that she always thought we would give it another try someday. i followed the no contact/working on yourself strategy and now she wants me back. my advice is keep what you are doing, no contact, if she contact you be friendly but short/busy. and go out and meet new people. have fun with another girl! trust me it takes your mind off alot of things! when she see's you moving on i recon she will start to miss you

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Thanks Shamone.

 

Couple questions:

How long did you do the no contact?

Did she end up contacting you and are you back together now?

 

I have read a lot about this and found that most people say to wait a month before contact. When you contact her ask to she if she would like to meet up and just talk. Talk about anything other than the relationship and try to get some laughs. Then no contact for another week and call again to try and meet up and this time maybe bring a few things up?

 

Any suggestions

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for most of the time we did low contact, but i realized it was too hurtfull and it kept bringing be back to square one. so i told her i have to go no contact. but at most it lasted 2 weeks because we share the same friends and have been for years so this low contact/no contact was killig me!! i decided to go out and meet new people. iv been seeing a girl for almost 2 months now, when she found out she contacted me and said she didnt think i would move on so soon but she wishes me well. then on a night out recently me and the new girl were out and my ex was also there with our mates, thats when she flipped and became jelous, but also said to me she wants me back and wants to go for a chat soon. i rejected the meetup because im happy enough with this new girl and have basically moved on from the ex. but still i cant be friends with her just yet.

 

mate, dont wait a month and then contact her. youl be torchering yourself, a bit like filling in the days of a calendar to wait to contact her.

 

dont contact her peroid, let her know you have to heal, if she contacts you dont ignore her, but be polite.

 

when my ex dumped me i found it very hard to get out there and work on myself etc...

but i eventually did it and made it a routine, it really does work mate. im happier than ever!

 

so dont meet up with her unless youv healed. i met up with the ex when i wasnt properly healed and it was a disaster! but let her know if she contacts you, that your getting on well

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I have only been broken up for just shy of 3 weeks. I know she has been going out drinking more and posting more than ever on her facebook, so I know she isn't exactly doing great either. I know this is bothering her so I just feel like the meet up will allow me to see how she is feeling exactly even though I plan to try and not bring up anything about the relationship.

 

She texted me the other night just about something she thought was funny and I would appreciate so Im not sure if again this is a gesture of her being curious and still thinking about me? Or is she just trying to be friends? I contacted her a couple days after the break up and sounded a little ridiculous with how I felt and when I look back it was more or less desperate. But since then I have not said a thing to her and she has contacted me once through facebook and text...

 

It may be like your saying, as far as prolonging the hurt feelings, but it has still been difficult to really persue other girls. Another thing that has been killing me is thinking about her hooking up with other people, which I think has been going on.

 

Anyway, appreciate the advice so far

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