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I should be happy but ... I'm sad?


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Today after four years of struggling I got my regents high school diploma the whole day I was happy and excited my friends and family appraising me for my achievement everything was fine I got home and I felt the gloom the loneliness started getting to me I lighted up a cigarette and started thinking what would she say or be doing for me for this accomplishment would she kiss me and hug me ? it's been four months but the memories are still intact I hate it but I keep whispering between puffs I miss her... I started tearing and thinking is she better with him now is she happier I have no contact with her so I got no idea how's her life been and I think I will keep it that way but now the what if's will keep hunting my mind forever.

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Take the fact that you are in No Contact with her as a blessing. Some of us wish we weren't in contact with the ex so we could move on. Thats OK for you to wonder how she would feel about your accomplishment. But you can't dwell on it. Think about it for a little, appreciate it, and move on. Easier said than done but its OK. As you go through more and more events like this, you will start thinking less and less about what she would think. Trust me...you will get tired of putting emphasis on what she would think, and learn to think of yourself and how you feel at the moment.

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