Why can't we be happy for them?

[meiling]

This question is mostly directed at the girls, as I found myself in this dilemma recently.

 

Why do we sometimes get jealous or sad if our s.o. is out having fun without us?

 

A couple days ago my bf called me, he was hanging at a bar with some guys who were mma fighters and were teaching him to fight. One guy in particular he connected with and he said things like "I think I've found my new best friend" and "I'm having the best time of my life." Why do such comments automatically create hurt?

 

I KNOW I shouldn't feel this way, it's not right, because he deserves to have fun and I want him to have fun and be happy. Is there any way to stop this?

[girlfriday]

Haha, I'm not laughing at you but laughing because I am the same way.

 

You are probably jealous that he is having fun without you. That you're not included in those events in his life. But it's okay, it passes and you will realize you are happy for him afterall. The important thing is to always do something on your own and have fun on your own as well. You don't need to rely on him or your relationship to have fun!

[shikashika]

I am.

 

I have no idea why this would create hurt. do you think some counselling would help?

[Sanesoul]

Haha, I'm not laughing at you but laughing because I am the same way.

 

You are probably jealous that he is having fun without you. That you're not included in those events in his life. But it's okay, it passes and you will realize you are happy for him afterall. The important thing is to always do something on your own and have fun on your own as well. You don't need to rely on him or your relationship to have fun!

 

I agree with this. I used to be like this in the beginning of my relationship with my husband, but now I love it when goes and has fun without me. It keeps him connected with his friends.