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Very Good Looking but shy


Collegeguy

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I am a very good looking guy. I am very muscular and give off a very confident vibe. I get approached and hit on by a lot of beautiful girls. But when I'm talking with these girls, I can't hold a conversation for more than 5 minutes. I'm a pretty simple guy, with not a lot to talk about. I talk about the usual, generic subjects; " what do you do for a living?" etc. I get nervous and am usually at a lost for words. And at the end of the conversation I get too shy to ask for a date or even a number. I think my looks are contradicting my personality and as a result can't find a good relationship. I'm lost, should I start eating a bunch of fatty foods to change my appearance or should I try to find a girl who has no personality and doesn't care for what I say anyways?

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Well if the conversation doesn't last more than a few minutes then it might aswell be her fault? You are not responsible to keep it going.. however there's alot of girls who love talking, they wont mind if you don't say that much lol

And I'm sure you can connect on some topics she brings up, guess after some time you'll also open up more.

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Personality and interests have to be developed in the same way as your physical condition. They're things you work on and build up over time. Since you say you're confident in your physical appearance, then I'm guessing you have a fair knowledge of exercise and health. You just need to run into a girl with similar interests so you can both discuss things of that nature.

 

In recent years, I've had a similar problem to yours. I have my interests, but they're rather unique and they don't often intersect with most of the women I run into. As a result, I can usually open a dialogue, but I can't keep it going because there's just not a lot in common. It's not their fault or mine..it's just the way it is. On the other hand, when I do run into a gal with similar interests, the dialogue can run for hours. So don't think the problem is with you when the problem may just be with circumstance.

 

Another thing is you'll find your interests change over time. When I was younger, I was much much better at holding long conversations with random people. This is because my interests back then were more common to the average person. I've since lost interest in most of those things though so I'm really not as dynamically social as I use to be. For a while I thought that was a problem with me, but I realized I do myself a disservice if I try to force conversation I'm no longer interested in.

 

So to sum it up, just talk about what you're interested in or try to find things she's interested in that maybe you don't know a lot about. Learning new things can be fun.

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u said u were shy.so is there any chance u come off as stuck up to ppl?even u dont intent to.it doesnt matter u dont talk much but it's important to show ppl ur nice,friendly,interested.there are heaps of girls cant resist hot look im sure they'll over look ur shyness/awkwardness.and as u guys get to know each other more u'll start talk more too

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Perhaps you are giving off an arrogant vibe without realizing it.The title of this thread may not seem arrogant to you but it could be percieved by some as arrogant.

 

I can see how it may seem like I give off an arrogant vibe, but I just try to be myself (walk with my head held high, chest out, etc). But I don't think that is my problem because girls tend to be the ones who approach me. But I am very modest in my conversations and try to focus on the girl when I'm talking. Which so far hasn't seemed to work.

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OP

 

Personality and looks don't always or even normally match. Your suggesting to gain wait to "match" your personality doesn't make much sense to me. There are a LOT of less than GQ looking people with great personalities and MANY great looking people with not so great personalities. Im not saying you're one of them, Im just saying you shouldn't imply that a good looking person should have a matching personality just by nature and visa verse.

 

I would suggest not paying so much attention to how you are looking to these girls and trying to relax a little bit more. Instead of holding your chest out, as you say you do, stand naturally. Maybe in turn you will feel a little more at ease. I know you say it gets you attention, but you can't keep that up forever. A warm smile and kind way about you will get you much further in the long run. Unless of coarse you just want arm candy.

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