jaygirl Posted November 7, 2010 Share Posted November 7, 2010 Hello ladies! so i thought i would come back here to drop a few lines once again. I AM GETTING MARRIED NEXT YEAR. It is solely the work of God, and prayer. thats just it. hopefully will come put some wedding pics here! lol. Girls keep praying. It works Link to comment
nanana Posted November 7, 2010 Share Posted November 7, 2010 Mine wanted nothing to do with me when we broke up, but after I went NC, he came back after 7 weeks. So I'd say this is fairly accurate... although he did leave again. He said it was after 4 weeks of NC he start thinking about me again, and 5 weeks of NC that he couldn't stop thinking about me. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted November 7, 2010 Share Posted November 7, 2010 Hello ladies! so i thought i would come back here to drop a few lines once again. I AM GETTING MARRIED NEXT YEAR. It is solely the work of God, and prayer. thats just it. hopefully will come put some wedding pics here! lol. Girls keep praying. It works Hey honey. What is your story? Link to comment
wilyone 11 Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 My boyfriend broke up with me on March 24th after a year of dating. He said he really wants to stay friends but I declined. He doesn't understand why I don't want to be friends and I don't want to explain that I want to go NC. I just said I don't care to be friends but thanks for the offer. I am on day 10 of NC. I'm hoping that within the next 8 weeks he will come to his senses and want to get back together. It's happened to me twice before that a guy broke up with me and reappeared 5-6 weeks later suddenly crazy about me. But NC is definitely not easy. Link to comment
Di84 Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 Ok.. so by the looks of all your posts, I seem to be the only person that did the begging, crying, pleading, and all that crap!!! lol..... (im glad I can kinda laugh about it now). But, I seem to have pushed my ex away by doing all of those things since October (mind you, he would cry from time to time over the BU, would still have sex with me, would still have set-backs when he's see me............... but didn't want me). So, last time we spoke, he yelled at me to never contact him again. Does this whole 8 weeks no contact work in my scenario as well? Highly doubt it.... thoughts? Link to comment
wilyone 11 Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 Day 11. I've gone through so many different emotions since he dropped the bomb. First shock, then anger. Around Day 9 is when the sadness set in. I really miss him and don't feel much anger anymore, just sadness. I know that I'm doing the right thing, which keeps me strong. If we're meant to be together, he needs to really feel how much he loves me and misses me. He needs to feel the loss. It's the only way that things can be right in the future, otherwise he'll just stay in this phase of uncertainty, taking me for granted and thinking the grass is greener elsewhere. If we're not meant to be together, then this is the best way for me to get over him. The urge to reach out to him is strong. I won't give in. Link to comment
uncomfynumb Posted April 12, 2011 Author Share Posted April 12, 2011 However if he doesn't call in eight weeks, its over. Start duty-dating, dress up, get out and read self help books, get on with your life as a single woman. If you have had a long term relationhship, it might take as long as two years for you to get over him so don't sit around. A new love will take you away from him." [/i] So I did and I met someone better 5 months later and now 9 months later, we are still going strong. Link to comment
Lostmysoulmate Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 that is true. it took about six weeks last time for him to come around. this is is second time and he claims he made a mistake because he didnt get no contact cuz we worked together once a week lol. so he didnt know what life without me was like truly a true break. i thought that was a cop out. Link to comment
Lostmysoulmate Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 so if he calls before 8 weeks what do you do? do you pick up or not just yet? if you dont that may ruin it. right? what is the name of this book? Link to comment
Lostmysoulmate Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 i just bought the book on amazon. thanks Link to comment
hun grace Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 I wanted to come back and share something that I learned from the book "Getting to I Do." ..............If anyone has any questions about the book or what was written, I will try and answer them. I just wanted to share what I learned as to help other women that might be in this type of situation. Greetings! I would like to ask if you have this book in any kind of text format (txt, pdf, doc, etc)? Thank you in advance your answer! Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 Wow, I remember this thread! Link to comment
NCForeverGirl Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 Interesting thread... I'm on Day 38 of NC, so I'll have done 6 weeks on Saturday. He hasn't reached out at all so far but I'm not surprised considering I announced NC to him and said we can't be friends because my feelings are too strong. So with the way I ended things he would only contact me if he wanted to get back together and I know he doesn't want to. I'm not holding my breath on my ex coming back between weeks 6-8. If he did I'd be shocked. To be honest I'm expecting to never hear from him ever again. Link to comment
sharky988 Posted December 10, 2012 Share Posted December 10, 2012 Interesting thread.... I'm on Day 38 of NC, so I'll have done 6 weeks on Saturday. He hasn't reached out at all so far but I'm not surprised considering I announced NC to him and said we can't be friends because my feelings are too strong. To be honest I'm expecting to never hear from my ex ever again. I'm not holding my breath on him coming back between weeks 6-8. If he did I'd be shocked. I'm right with you, NCForeverGirl! I'm just at 6 weeks myself and expecting to hear NOTHING at week 8 because my ex is with the girl he left me for -- or he was 6 weeks ago, not sure what their status is now. Whether or not it applies to my situation, I love this thread!!! Link to comment
CutieGirl Posted December 22, 2012 Share Posted December 22, 2012 Bumping this one. Yesterday was exactly 30 days since we broke up, well I texted him the day after so I suppose today is 30 days of NC. I'm getting better. Still get really sad sometimes, but I made a vow to myself to never call or contact him AGAIN. If we are going to reconcile he'll have to do the work. Link to comment
EmilyE Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Love this thread. Read through the whole thing! It gives me motivation to keep with NC. Right now I want him back, but in time I'm hoping I realize I don't need him to be happy. I'm at day 5 NC technically. Here is a quick recap of my situation: we were together for 4 years, lived together, and then a year ago he wanted to take a break because he wasn't sure what he wanted anymore. He still loved me he said, but pretty much wondering if the grass is greener plus SEVERE issues with commitment. When we first got together he wanted to marry me, yada yada, but now he's not sure if he ever wants to get married or have kids. I think he just wants to be 23 forever (we r both 30 now). Anyway, I did the begging and pleading, he moved out, but for the past year we have been on and off / friends with benefits. All along of course I have wanted to get back together, and he had moments where he did, but would always go back to 'I don't know'. I thought that if I stuck around long enough he would realize what he wanted. BOY WAS I WRONG! One year later, I'm in the exact same situation. This time he cut all ties, defriended on Facebook, etc, which is good for me cuz I'm not tempted to look anymore. So ya, that's where I'm at. I know he still loves me but is just confused as hell and wonders what else is out there. We got Into bit of a 'lull' in our relationship, and he freaked. This thread has motivated me to really believe in NC, for my own good and with the small hopes that he will realize what he is missing. I mean in the last year I never gave him time to miss me. And if he did, he would text me 'I miss u' and is be over at his house before the text even went through!!! I've gotta stop being at his becken (sp?) call. Does anyone have advice on how you h e had the courage to ignore his texts, etc? When you have been so used to responding for the past 5 years??? Also, since I know this thread started YEARS ago, I'd life to hear updates from any of you who used this thread in the past. Im sure you are all like 3 relationships past the old one now!!! Thanks!!! Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Uncomfynumb, the original poster, ended up meeting another guy and marrying him. She said she is much happier with the new man than the guy who dumped her and inspired this thread. Link to comment
lovepugs86 Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 My thing is how does NC work around this time of year? Would texting him "Merry Xmas" or "Happy New Years" really count as breaking NC? Especially if you both agreed it would be ok to text during the holidays? Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Well, your agreement that it would be okay to text during the holidays makes being NC more comlicated, like maybe you are going against your word? If you are truly going NC, then I suggest NO holiday greetings. Link to comment
lovepugs86 Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 He did tell me it would me a max of 2 months before he called to let me know his decision and most likely it would be before then... so at least he gave me some type of time frame to work with. And yea, I might just see if he actually texts me and says merry xmas first. Link to comment
triangles Posted December 26, 2012 Share Posted December 26, 2012 I was thinking about this thread recently. Christmas Eve marked exactly 8 weeks since I had any contact with my ex (I was the dumpee). But as time goes on I care less and less, and now I'm making plans with a new guy for New Years Eve. If he (my ex) wants to contact me, the ball is in his court because I'm not lifting a finger! My gut tells me I will hear from him again eventually, though. Hopefully by then I'll be completely over it. He was so rude to me at the end. Link to comment
CutieGirl Posted December 27, 2012 Share Posted December 27, 2012 If he (my ex) wants to contact me, the ball is in his court because I'm not lifting a finger! My gut tells me I will hear from him again eventually, though. Hopefully by then I'll be completely over it. He was so rude to me at the end. AMEN TO THAT! It's been a little over a month and I AM sticking to my NC no matter what! Even if I never see him again, I will never be the one that contacts him first in hopes of reconciliation. His birthday is tomorrow. I didn't contact him for Christmas, I sure as hell ain't gonna contact him for his birthday! I DO think about him but I'm still not going to reach out to him, and besides, he hasn't reached out to me at all since our break up so he can kick rocks. And you know what? He NEEDS to miss me. He NEEDS to be worried about why I haven't called, and if I'm happy without him and if I'm thinking aobut him. That's ALL I did every day for the last month of our relationship and he still only cared about himself. It's hard, but every day is starting to get better. I've started to tell myself there IS a better plan for my love life, whether it's with him or not, I don't know. But just like you, I made a promise to myself not to ever "lift a finger" and I remind myself of how he left me in the end when all I ever did was treat him like a king! Suddenly I am motivated all over again to keep my promise. Link to comment
sharky988 Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 Well, interesting -- my ex DID finally make contact after exactly 8 weeks of NC. As the author of the book predicted, he said he missed me, cared for me, and wanted to extend the offer of friendship. I'm really too broken up about it to reply though, so NC is easy for me now : ) The sad part is, I've just started becoming involved with someone else, and now I realize I can't date anyone for a while because this stupid email has me so shaken. I'm not nearly as over him as I thought I was. Link to comment
jol33n Posted January 2, 2013 Share Posted January 2, 2013 Well, interesting -- my ex DID finally make contact after exactly 8 weeks of NC. As the author of the book predicted, he said he missed me, cared for me, and wanted to extend the offer of friendship. I'm really too broken up about it to reply though, so NC is easy for me now : ) The sad part is, I've just started becoming involved with someone else, and now I realize I can't date anyone for a while because this stupid email has me so shaken. I'm not nearly as over him as I thought I was. This is so difficult. My ex dumped me at the end of November and I tried the NC with more or less success. I was dating in the meantime as I was adamant not to wait and met someone really nice in the meantime. My ex then contacted me (before the 8 weeks but he is left handed so...) and I decided to try things again. That was last week. I had to let the nice new guy go so I could start fresh and it was heartbreaking because he didn't do anything wrong. Anyway, 5 days of spending time with my ex, things were going well but I still got texts from the other guy. As we were working at our relationship, I didn't mention as I thought I could deal with this on my own, I even agreed to meet this date to clear things up. My ex found these texts and dumped me again. I never had the intention of cheating or anything, I was trying to repair everything on each front but he doesn't want to hear me out. This just happened yesterday. I'm really hurt that I took him back and was trying my best at sorting everything out and in 5 days, it's all gone! I'm really hurt that I met someone who is really kind and that I was getting really excited about and then feel resentment that knowing him has caused another heartache. I don't know if I should start the 8 weeks challenge. I feel that due to the circumstances, I need him to change his mind now. But I know he won't... I feel like I should give a chance to the other guy but I don't want to hurt him again. Link to comment
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