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How do you deal with this situation?


user88

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Hi, this is my first post...

 

I'm going to try and make my question as quick as possible, please let me know what you would do... Here are the facts (according to me. lol):

 

-I'm crazy about a friend

-He knows I'm gay and that i like him

-He told me that he's not

-My gut feeling tells me that he's gay, likes me, but not ready or still unsure/not wanting to go there

-I see him at work, we are hundreds of co-workers but he always chooses to sit down with me, we're like best friends at work

-However I tried to plan things outside of work, he always backs up or doesn't even answer my calls, which is extremely weird because we go from best friends at work to non-existing friends outside of work.

-I want to let go and tell myself "he's not gay" since he told me so, but I really feel like he is and that he likes me back, but simply is not ready and that's why at work there isn't the risk of getting too close to me... so that feeling makes it hard for me to let go It's hard to explain, but I just see it in his behavior that we could be together

-also he owes me money and it's been for a long time now, however he's been giving me back the money (that's not an issue or in doubt) but at a very slow pace, always delaying even though I know he has it... i'm starting to feel that he's taking all this time with it simply to keep me hanging so that we still have a link...

 

How do you deal with it? being in love with someone who isn't ready? I know that there are chances that I'm totally wrong and that he really has no interest at all, but in the case that I'm right, is there anything else to do but to let go and how do I do it without risking the friendship "at work"

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How do you deal with it? being in love with someone who isn't ready? I know that there are chances that I'm totally wrong and that he really has no interest at all, but in the case that I'm right, is there anything else to do but to let go and how do I do it without risking the friendship "at work"

 

Hi, user88. Welcome to ENA. I have been on the other side of this situation too many times but from my experience, the other person either moved on and got involved with someone else or the other person stuck with it because they truly felt that there needed to be a deeper connection between us. If you feel like there is a little bit of a connection between you and this guy but you don't want to move on, wait for him to warm up to you. If all of your efforts fail then you have no choice but to move on.

 

I wish you the best of luck in this situation.

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thanks... well, I feel that I have done what I can, without becoming pathetic and look too desperate... I mean, how many times could I call him and him not answer? or how many times can I try to organize something together but him not coming through? well, the thing is, I still feel that he likes me but isn't ready, but on the other hand I can't push it more... I guess all I can do is wait for him to make a move now, but unfortunately it doesn't look that way... I guess it's not ment to be

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