Should the guy always initiate contact first? (email)

[justagirl09]

I have been talking to this guy going on 4 weeks. For the first 3-weeks he was always the one who messaged me first, i never messaged him. The last 2-days i initiated the emails. He is reponsive and i figured if he didnt want to talk to me, he wouldnt respond or wouldnt be so responsive. So, the last email which was yesterday we ended the convo when we went to bed, and he said talk to you tomorrow. Now, i dont know if i should message him first or he should message me first? i kind of feel like he is waiting for me to because by this point he has already sent me a message. I just dont want to bombard him so that is why i am waiting a little while to message him. Maybe I am making this too complicated?? does it matter who messages each other first?

[hexaemeron]

You're actually allowed to take initiative in your relationship. Do you really want to be passive all the time?

[justagirl09]

No, of course i dont. I guess I am afraid to look too eager. On the other hand, i know for a fact that he likes a woman that knows what she wants. I just dont want to look like i am TOO eager or needy/clingy. I know guys dont like that.

[Momake]

We're talking about a message here. Go ahead.

 

Clingy or needy is most unattractive when it starts to interfere with a guys' life. For example, if I can't go out with my guy friends because my SO wants me to stay home and watch a movie with her every Friday night... OR when she has to talk to me every night for 2 hours and I have to be up early the next day for work.

 

But yes, you are overthinking - if you like him... message him

[norsewoman]

It would probably feel nice for him to know that there's some reciprocity in your relationship. Message him, already!

[justagirl09]

It would probably feel nice for him to know that there's some reciprocity in your relationship. Message him, already!

 

ugh ok ok lol. I am surprised he hasnt messaged me yet, but i guess he is waiting for me. LOL

[DN]

Should the guy always initiate contact first?

No. ...............

[X4r]

No, of course i dont. I guess I am afraid to look too eager. On the other hand, i know for a fact that he likes a woman that knows what she wants. I just dont want to look like i am TOO eager or needy/clingy. I know guys dont like that.

 

That goes both ways you know. Are you using something like MSN or AIM? Or just exchanging e-mails, because if you were messaging someone every day, every time they came online, the instant they appeared online, then yeah that looks clingy/over eager, but I don't see the problem in initiating convos.

 

A few months back I was interested in a girl, we would talk on msn fairly often, I'd initiate every conversation, after a while I just assumed she wasn't interested, because she never started a convo, after I stopped she messaged me a few times but we otherwise stopped talking. Later I met her again at a party and she was wondering why I had never talked to her >.>

 

Don't be too passive, it gets confusing!