top bloke Posted February 15, 2010 Author Share Posted February 15, 2010 I've done both. Married my EH based on logic (he was a good guy, good looking, good to me, everyone liked him, supportive, etc, etc.). I ignored my heart that was BEGGING for passion and 'love'. Then I got involved with someone purley out of emotion. I knew from day 1 he was not the logical choice. That ended far more painfully that the XH. I wish there was some merge between the two. Maybe now I will be able to combine my experiences and make logical, heartfelt choices. Maybe you can, too? Thank you. Yes a connection is needed with mind and heart. All the logic in the world is worthless if we dont feel passion for life or people. Many live the logical way and still dont enjoy life because passion is important.. Yes I agree i think it is a good way to make decisions but to be wary of each facet Link to comment
top bloke Posted February 15, 2010 Author Share Posted February 15, 2010 Intuition is an amazing thing, but can be misread based on personal history. Trust your instincts, but not them alone. I have read much material on this topic and instinct can only be trusted when we are free of hangups and our minds are clear..Otherwise our intuition is corrupted Link to comment
top bloke Posted February 15, 2010 Author Share Posted February 15, 2010 It's a bit of a skill to distinguish intuition based on subconsciously collected information from fear/anxiety, often these two get confused. Yes ..the mind must be clear and centred without prejudice or emotion to absorb true intuition or understand the sixth sense.. There are times I use it very well but of course it relies on our minds state. However it is an acquire skill which needs purely living in the moment and a higher level of awareness where emotions/thoughts inside can stop us being in touch in that way..I suppose it is when we must then go back to more logic to pursue goals or decisions. Link to comment
Rangafro Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 I have read much material on this topic I suspected as such. What have you been reading? Many live the logical way and still dont enjoy life because passion is important.. I love this by the way. It's been a central issue to my life recently. Link to comment
top bloke Posted February 15, 2010 Author Share Posted February 15, 2010 I suspected as such. What have you been reading? I love this by the way. It's been a central issue to my life recently. Dummies series of books have the topic covered. In saying that.. I posted a thread about these psychic intuitive feelings here a while back. I also had the good fortune to compare ideas with a wonderful enaer here with similar experiences which was very insightful. I wont name them as to respect their privacy Link to comment
NowandZen Posted February 15, 2010 Share Posted February 15, 2010 Thing is, we all have experience in decision making, and have some balance of logic and emotion in every single one of them. Which balance has led to decisions you are happy with? Link to comment
ramsickle1369 Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 One thing that i find really insightful is my own journal. I often go back to random dates and re-read what I was thinking at the time. I have realized that I saw red flags WAY early on and blatantaly ignored them, or used logic to explain them. Eventually, over time you start to recognize red flags VERY easily, based on personal history. Live and learn kind of thing... Never ever dismiss your gut feelings. But do verify the validity of them. Is it something real or some reaction you are having to a past personal experience? Link to comment
Taikero Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 I tend to go with my gut as long as I recognize the downsides of my decision and can live with those downsides. Sometimes I second guess myself because I honestly overthink many situations, but I've been working on that. I don't make ANY serious decision without gathering as much information as possible. I have no regrets in life thus far. I am happy with who I am. Link to comment
top bloke Posted February 17, 2010 Author Share Posted February 17, 2010 One thing that i find really insightful is my own journal. I often go back to random dates and re-read what I was thinking at the time. I have realized that I saw red flags WAY early on and blatantaly ignored them, or used logic to explain them. Eventually, over time you start to recognize red flags VERY easily, based on personal history. Live and learn kind of thing... Never ever dismiss your gut feelings. But do verify the validity of them. Is it something real or some reaction you are having to a past personal experience? Perhaps a journal would be a good idea. I havent had a journal for over 25 years. It may help to look back and note where things go wrong or right. To maintain a journal would need to be hidden from all other people as it would be very personal. Self improvement is personal. Link to comment
ramsickle1369 Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 Perhaps a journal would be a good idea. I havent had a journal for over 25 years. It may help to look back and note where things go wrong or right. To maintain a journal would need to be hidden from all other people as it would be very personal. Self improvement is personal. It's actually quite scary! I even recently found my HS journals and the same word shows up EVERY time I'm involved. " ... relationship something...relationship anything... relationship something more... "I'm SCARED"... more relationship junk." This is going back 20 years. And been to two therapists and not ONE ever picked up on MY fear! Perhaps I have a lil committment phobia in reverse? I put up with anything because I fear losing "him"--whoever "he" may be at the time. ](*,) Link to comment
ramsickle1369 Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 how does spiritual thinking play in (without getting into a religious debate).... Link to comment
top bloke Posted February 17, 2010 Author Share Posted February 17, 2010 Spiritually? I believe that the teachings in religion are quite good.Dont kill..dont do bad things..ounds good to me but what is more it is a good idea to keep our soul as clean as possible and then if we make mistakes to forgive ourselves others and walk away from the dark..towards the light..towards good. Link to comment
ramsickle1369 Posted February 17, 2010 Share Posted February 17, 2010 Spiritually? I believe that the teachings in religion are quite good.Dont kill..dont do bad things..ounds good to me but what is more it is a good idea to keep our soul as clean as possible and then if we make mistakes to forgive ourselves others and walk away from the dark..towards the light..towards good. I was speaking of the internal spiritual conflict most have (not religious teachings) as those can be quite different and sometimes confusing. Link to comment
top bloke Posted February 17, 2010 Author Share Posted February 17, 2010 With internal spiritual conflict we have to ask ourselves why we feel this way? What made us feel the internal conflict? Could we have done things differently to have avoided it? If we did our best then despite the outcome we must be strong in ourselves in the realisation that we chose the right path. If we have done something wrong and it chews at us inside then we have to learn from the pain and not do it again. We also have to forgive ourselves to move forward in life because we have the choice on moving towards a better life in each waking moment.The past is over ..we cant change it..the future may never come..our gift is today ..what are we going to good right now to change our lives? If I have gotten off track then it is probably because I have not understood your meaning of spiritual conflict.If so can you please provide an example.Otherwise I hope what I have written help satisfy your question. I hope I am Link to comment
Kratta Posted February 18, 2010 Share Posted February 18, 2010 Logic, or "the way you are supposed to do things", can get kind of... twisted. I think most decisions need to come out of what feels right for YOU, and the best way to know that is to try feeling what right, or compare it to previous experience (that dosen't mean that, since you got dumped by a girl once, you shouldnt try it again. But I think you figured that out.) Logic can be usefull ofcourse, but don't do thinks without thinking how they will emotionally effect you. Link to comment
top bloke Posted April 5, 2013 Author Share Posted April 5, 2013 There is a logic to emotions, it's just a bit more challenging to identify the underlying reasons/ logic thereof. Before making difficult decisions I try to be brutally honest with myself where my emotions/ fears are coming from. The next important thing that I consider is the long term impact versus the short term escape from fears/pain. This approach has served me well in every difficult situation that I have faced so far and in the long term I have never regretted a decision although short term it was very hard to do and sometimes the pain involved was substantial. This ability has not necessarily always resulted in the "rational" versus the "emotional" choice, but enabled me often as well to be much more understanding about other people's choices and be much more patient about the decisions and behavioral choices that others make. After all these years. I remember your reply and it has taken me this long to look back at and say this is an awesome answer. Thank you once again Link to comment
top bloke Posted April 5, 2013 Author Share Posted April 5, 2013 Amen to that!!! Thank you. Link to comment
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