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Dealing with unjustified hurt


Sugar-Rush

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Hey Guys,

 

I don't think i'm looking for an answer really. I know I am unjustified to feel upset by this, but that doesn't stop me hurting unfortunately.

 

My ex had sex with a girl he met in a club last night and then amongst other friends proceeded to go into great detail about it today. I said to him, i'm pleased for you but i'd rather not hear the details.

He has no intention of seeing her again and I am just hurt about the graphic thought of him having sex with said girl.

 

I am happily married and since the ex and I broke up he has had a few girlfriends, all of whom I have met and liked and have no issue with. Please don't think I am wanting him not to be happy or move on, because I do want that.

 

But nhow I have these very graphic images in my head, which I know I am unjustified to be upset over......hmmmm

 

Sorry needed to let it out

 

Sugar xxx

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I am already married, for a year and a half now. The ex in question and I broke up 6 years ago. It was very amicable, but I guess I was more of the dumper than the dumpee, that said we both knew it was over. Now we are really good friends, He has had many girlfriends in that time some serious and all of whom i've had no quarms with. My issue is with hearing about graphic details of his sex life with a stranger. This REALLY bothers me and I don't know why.

I don't want him back and I certainly don't want him to be alone and unhappy.

 

It's just hard to stomach you know, I would never say to him "oh last night my husband did so and so to me and it was sooooo good and then I did so and so to him, then blah blah blah" You know ?

 

Sugar x

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I think you have every right to be upset. Unless you have set a precedent of talking about each other's sex lives (which you clearly haven't), I think it's totally inappropriate for him to go on about it in so much detail. Just because you're 'over' your ex doesn't mean that it won't hurt to hear that kind of stuff...it's something intimate that you two shared and of course it's upsetting to imagine him going through that with someone else. I think it was kind of insensetive of him IMO. Maybe make it clear again that you don't want to hear details, but what's done is done...just try not to think about it I guess. Easier said than done I know: good luck.

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