I'm hurting so bad, I feel so horrible

[CoCo2009]

I wish I never talked to him again, and now I'm hurting again. Why am I so freaking stupid? Its Valentines day and its too much to think about.

[Kaytie]

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much. Can you get out and do something for yourself today?

[ben2010]

I feel the pain, as I'm going thu now. What you need to do now is (try to) stop thinking about your ex and move on. Go out with a friend today go anywhere stay busy. You really can not think what your ex is doing, otherwise you will go crazy.

[learning2relax]

Thinking about him is keeping yourself stuck. Yes, today is especially difficult. But every time you do, just redirect your thoughts as quickly as possible. Keep yourself busy.

[CoCo2009]

i want him back

[metrogirl]

i want him back

 

The angry ex?

[hers]

No you don't want him back. You just don't want to feel alone. Would you rather be miserable in an abusive and toxic relationship or would you rather be miserable alone for just a little while?

[CoCo2009]

i keep trying to let go but something is obviously wrong with me, i can't let go no matter what. I love him but he dumps me every week, i feel like something is wrong with me and thats why he keeps dumping me, he tried to make it work and i keep messing it all up, but i try so hard to be a good girlfriend.l

[hers]

I feel like I'm having dejavu of a year ago coco. You can't depend on others to help you. You have to help yourself. There's only so much we can all say to comfort you till our words are meaningless to you.

[CoCo2009]

your words aren't meaningless i just really dont know how to let go i guess, its so hard for me, i guess i have a dependency problem or something.

[penelope13]

you don't love this guy, you are addicted to him. Unless you kick this habit, you will not be happy, gain any self esteem.

[CoCo2009]

he kept getting mad because i wouldn't kiss him i guess he gave up on me, i didn't feel like kissing

[bohma123]

im having the exact same problem.. girlfriend dumped me 2 weeks ago after a great 2 and a half year relationship, and wont take me back because she doesnt think i can change..

 

I begged her in every kind of way to take me back but to no avail.. (i know she still loves me but she is very stubborn and is determined not to take me back)

 

After reading posts on this website I have taken advice and stopped all contact and havent heard anything in 4 days.

 

I am going absolutely insane inside, I love her so much it is unbelievable, and can never picture myself fully getting over her.. I pray to god a miracle happens and she takes me back but as the days go on I get less and less confident.. I am so devastated

 

d

[hers]

Why would you allow him back in to your life? Remember how he threw you to the ground last time? Remember that, coco? How much that hurt you?

[learning2relax]

I was in a 15 year relationship that was an endless cycle of breakups. I kept going back out of the fear of being alone and the need to be with someone. It never changed. He was never really mine and was only trying to control me.

 

If your ex can't respect that you didn't feel like doing something and it is all about his wants and needs then you need to ask yourself, do you want to spend the rest of your life feeling this way.

 

All I can offer you is the advice to keep yourself busy to get over him. Redirect your thoughts and day by day it gets easier. It takes a while and is a long painful road but you learn the most about yourself in the process. You just can't sit there thinking about him and think that you are magically going to get over him. Perhaps you need to step away from the board and go do something, anything. Staying here writing about how much you miss him and want him back and seeking the answers that you are looking for are not going to keep you from moving on. If you are sitting there and on the board, perhaps you should be seeking the posts of people that have moved on or are in the process and gain from their advice and strength.

 

It isn't a snap. We all want the magic pill. It doesn't exist. Sometimes you have to step away about reading about relationships, solving for them, reading about other people's pain..... You need to focus on what makes you happy. You are looking for him to make you happy by taking you back. It will just repeat again if you do this.

 

I wasted 15 years on a man making the same mistake. I can't get those years back. I can learn from it and move forward and do better for myself.

[CoCo2009]

Why would you allow him back in to your life? Remember how he threw you to the ground last time? Remember that, coco? How much that hurt you?

 

Yeah I let him talk me into saying that he didn't actually push me, that it was my fault for grabbing for my phone, I let him blame me for that, he said I wouldn't have "fell" If I wasn't trying to get my phone back from him....I'm stupid for forgiving him and begging him back after he threw ME to the floor. I'm very dependent on him...I feel like without him I can't go on for some reason. Its weird. In my heart I know I want to let go but I keep not letting go for some reason.

[CoCo2009]

thanks for the advice, that situation sounds just like mine. I need to do something different. Now I just need to figure out what I need to do now. I can't believe this is my Valentines Day, a nightmare.

[hers]

Stop worrying about it being valentines day. That's the worst thing to get yourself worked up about. You're not dependent on him. You're addicted to him. There's a big difference. You need help.

[CoCo2009]

Oh for some reason I thought being addicted and being dependent on him was the same sorry.

[hers]

I was meaning dependent as in getting by without him, like you said. You can take care of yourself but you're just choosing not to. You're choosing not to help yourself here.

[CoCo2009]

im gonna choose to this time and not let him take my joy away for as long as he did last year, i have to try harder this time. my mom don't even want to talk to me anymore because of all this drama

[jbrooklyn]

im gonna choose to this time and not let him take my joy away for as long as he did last year, i have to try harder this time. my mom don't even want to talk to me anymore because of all this drama

you can do anything you set your mind to do coco. I know how hard it is but you will be glad in the long run that you did it

[vertigoxo]

Coco, I know how it is to "need" someone because you're scared of being all alone, or not being taken cared of or loved. But the harsh reality is... That this man doesn't love you. He doesn't respect you, or care about you, or anything like that. I'm sorry I had to type all that out, but you need to read it and soak it in, and realize the cold, hard truth.

 

You deserve so much better honey... I know being single can sometimes suck so bad, but you can do it. I did it, and it was very hard, but I've learned and realized so many things about myself and life that I could never learn while being with my ex.

 

NC can def help you in this case. I wish you luck!