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bungalo

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I ran into the ex at yet another singles dance (this was Fri night)...and didn't break all the way down...but talked with her in the hallway..and started pitching a reconciliation...she was pretty stoic..at one point she said maybe if I didn't need her so much it could work, but for now she has to honor her desire to date other guys-she hasn't dated any to my knowledge..so called her the next morning we had a good talk...we have a deep friendship...I know I am codependent..and her distancing didn't help in the rel/ship...I can't keep my life on hold..of course I got hope again when she said she might be interested again if I didn't need her so much...today is my birthday..one of the saddest ones I've ever had

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Happy birthday, man!

 

..at one point she said maybe if I didn't need her so much it could work...

 

Ok... this is VERY telling right here. Of course, you've conveyed as much throughout your posts several times. So now the question is... why do you push so hard every time you have some sort of contact? Muster up some self control and stop bringing up reconciliation and relationship stuff. That's only pushing her further away! STOP IT!

 

Back off completely and watch what happens...

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Happy birthday, man!

 

 

 

Ok... this is VERY telling right here. Of course, you've conveyed as much throughout your posts several times. So now the question is... why do you push so hard every time you have some sort of contact? Muster up some self control and stop bringing up reconciliation and relationship stuff. That's only pushing her further away! STOP IT!

 

Back off completely and watch what happens...

 

Happy B'day! TT is right, try and back off. What she said is your answer, the answer. That is very workable - if you can get some control over yourself. Unlike a lot of folks here (me =p) your situation is fairly hopeful. Self control man, self control!

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I am going to a support group tonight...see how it goes..I gotta temper what she said about not needing her with the other comments she made though...like, "Would it help If I said we will never get back together.?"...

Thanks for the replies

 

Don't say things we don't mean, young grasshoppa.

 

Just take things easy. No need to be rude. If she wants to be rude let her. Don't snoop down to her lows.

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Chris...I don't understand your comment. No one was being rude! She saw how much pain I was in when I ran into her Friday night...that's why she made the comment about, never getting back together...

 

Ahh sorry, Bungalo.

 

I thought you were going to announce specifically to her that you would never get back together.

 

My apologies.

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bungalo

i just want to give you a big hug!!!! you seem like such a sweet big hearted guy!!

but listen...you have to get a grip!!! thats great that you are going to the support group. i think you need someone in person who can hear you out and give you some perspective and objectivity.

you need to get your equilibrium back as the situation has totally pulled it out of whack.

women like knowing that their guy can be calm in the storm. that they can be their rock if you know what i mean.

but you fall apart when you see her. thats love, i know. but some restraint is called for here. she is basically telling you that she would may be open to something more if you can hold it together.

show her and your self that you have the strength to get yourself together. that you can live a life with out her...and be strong with out her...that you can create a good life for yourself and then be able to share that life with someone else. its attractive when you know that someone can be strong without you. trust me on this. strong by themselves but they choose to share their happiness with you. it would be advantageous for her to know that she doesnt hold the key to your happiness. you need to even out your situation. its too much weighed on her side. its like a lopsided see saw.

you can do it bungalo!!!!!!!!!!!!

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