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Busy, distancing or offended?


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My female best friend, with whom I think I am very likely to start a real relationship, seems a bit cold.


She currently studies abroad, and we spoke to each other only via Skype, e-mail or sms. She wished me good morning and good night every day even when she was very busy, we used to talk a lot even about random stuff throughout the day. And she always added something romantic or at least very heart-melting, at least one new surprise every day.


The background story is a bit complex since, I think, we both like each other more than friends, but whenever someone tries to declare it, we beat around the bush or suddenly withdraw. I don't know her exact reasons for this, though I can imagine many. Bottom line is: we aren't officially in love. And ever since we communicate via text it's even harder for me to understand her true emotional state.


The turning point were my final exams. Due to past experiences, I always isolate myself from the rest of the world when I prepare for exams, even for weeks. Still, I spoke to her once every 4-5 days and noticed she was a bit disappointed about it even if she didn't express it.


USUALLY she was always, constantly online on Skype. Now, I sometimes have the impression that she goes offline when I come online.

She doesn't even wait to talk. Usually, we speak at least 1 hour or so.

Now, she sometimes leaves without even saying "bye", or doesn't answer to all my questions... "sorry, my mother came. see you later" and doesn't return later.


I am scared to ask her because she might just be totally busy (now it is her final exams as well, and she has harder things to do than me)... but I really feel bad when she doesn't answer or just goes away from our conversations without any explanation...


How to solve?



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Well, she could be hurt so she is reciprocating your low contact. She could just be busy or stressed. She might just have other interests at this time.


In any case, it is to easy to make a lot of assumptions, which may or not be true.


You need to communicate with her.


Excuse me... could you please suggest me a way to ask, without sounding needy?


I know, I have this great phobia of sounding needy, but I really need some guidance on how to ask firmly and without causing her to drift apart.

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