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Attraction to older or married men..


Leighton

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Boy oh boy.. I think I need therapy.

 

Before anyone asks.. yes, I guess I have "daddy issues". My dad is in my life but he might as well not be. We never had a good relationship.

 

Anyway.. I can't stand younger guys. I'm always attracted to either OLDER or TAKEN men. Of course there's guys I've liked that are young and single as well, but it's more of the other one.

 

There's a guy I work with who is always flirting with me and vice versa. He's 40 years old and married. I feel so guilty (even though it IS innocent flirtation), because typically I hate these types of guys. But with him I can't help myself. And every time I'm at work I find reasons to see or talk to him. I need to stop but I can't!!

 

Do I need therapy for these kinds of things? A little part of me thinks I'm attracted to older men because of their stability.. but I'm not really looking for a "father figure" at all

 

I need to break this habit because with my ex, he was older and taken when I met him. And I don't ever want to go down that path again. Live and learn..

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The best advice I can give in regards to taken men is to just try to put yourself in the shoes of his wife/gf. If you were married or seriously dating someone and/or had children with this man, would you want some younger girl flirting with him, hitting on him, and trying to ruin your relationship? Probably not...so show them the same respect you would want to receive. Don't put yourself in a position that ultimately will hurt yourself or other people involved. Remember that it is ok to be attracted to someone that is older or taken, but acting on it is NOT ok and something within your control. Don't go talk to him - just stay at your desk and keep youself busy with something else.

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Ya, I'd say so. My friend is exactly the same, except she has the greatest dad in the world but doesn't appreciate him! The best thing I've learned in therapy is that you can definitely have yourself and you should never feel completely compulsed to do something without knowing the reason why. Knowing the reason why usually give you the power to stop. Good luck. Seeing as you're 18, you're probably in school and they should provide an adequate conseling centre free of charge.

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Try to conciously break the pattern.Whenever you feel yourself falling for an older married man ,wake up or snap out of it and conciously realize what you are doing.There's nothing wong with being attracted to older men by the way,just go for ones who are not married[they are out there]

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