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I've been going nuts all day. Should I be worried?


12fret

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OK, I'll admit. One reason I am asking this is because I want to be assured that nothing will happen. However, having said that, I do want to hear the truth. I especially would like to hear the female perspective.

 

First I guess some background would help. I've been seeing this girl for almost 2 months now. We are NOT an official couple, although I would like to be at some point. Things have been moving semi-slow but that is quite alright. We meet through a mutual friend and the first time we had ever met each other in person was on our first date, although we did text back-and-forth for a couple days or so before that. Basically, the reason I'm ok with things moving along kinda slow is because we literally knew nothing about each other when we did meet so to some degree we are still getting to know each other. Hell, before we met in person I didn't even know what she looked like. Luckily, we hit it off quite well on our first date. Since then, whether via text or the phone, we have talked pretty much everyday since we met. I is obvious we are both really into each other. We have kissed several times, held hands...that kind of stuff but no sex yet. We are also at the point where we are not as cautious about what we say in terms of the future. What I mean is that we just assume we are going to see each other again and say things like "next time we go to dinner..." or "next week we should go..." I don't mean that we are ready to start planning a vacation months down the road. Now for what I'm worried about:

 

Today she is out of town (about 3 or 4 hours away) for one of the largest Mardi Gras parties in the U.S., that is not in New Orleans. We all know what goes on there but to make it worse, she is with a bunch of her sorority sisters and she admits that they all, including her, go way overboard when they are together. Perhaps its a lack of confidence on my part, or I'm just over-thinking things but I would be a lier if I said I wasn't worried about what could happen. I understand that we are not an official couple and that, technically, we are both single, but I'm so freaked out that she may find some guy there and hook up with him, or something like that. Hell even just drunkenly kiss one. I mean, she doesn't seem to be the type of girl who would do that, but I guess I don't know that for sure. I have no reason not to trust her, but on the other hand I have no reason to trust her.

 

So, the bottom line is, I know for sure that she likes me in a romantic way. We are not an official couple and technically we are single. However, we are way past the first date and feeling each other out stages and as far as I know she is not seeing anyone else and neither am I. Knowing this, should I worry about something happening or am I worried for nothing? I've made it seem like its no big deal to me that she is going (not that she would need to my ok or anything) and I've told her plenty of times to have fun. To be honest, I really do not get jealous very often, if at all. I'm worried and I would be devastated if I found out something did happen.

 

One thing I would like to note I guess. I didn't plan on hearing from her at all today. However, in the middle of the day today (not yet at night though and I'm 99.99% sure I wont hear from her again until tomorrow) she did sent me a quick text. All she said was "Holy crap. Wasted." but I was sort of surprised to hear from her at all and I kind of thought to myself "hey, at least she was thinking about me." So, I ask again, should I be worried?

 

Ok now I'm going to go get wasted before I drive myself insane

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It doesn't sound as though you've got anything to worry about - even when she was 'wasted' she sent you a text, didn't she? You've known her for two months, and everything has been very slow, getting to know each other in a way that means you've got something deep to build on for the future.

 

If she hasn't had sex with you all this time, though obviously being really into you - it seems very, very unlikely that she'd just casually hook up with someone at an event like that! She's been telling you who she is for the last two months!

 

Please relax. It sounds as though you're causing yourself a lot of unnecessary pain at the moment; whatever kind of person she is, you are putting yourself through the worst kind of punishment. Rather than torturing yourself thoughts of things which haven't happened, why don't you fill your mind with fond memories of your times together, and look forward to things you'll be doing together in the future? And hope she'll have some entertaining stories to tell!

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