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I want her back and dont know what to do


ilovemygirl

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I will make this as short as possible.

 

I have been seeing this girl for a little more than a year. I am 37 and she is 46. in the beginning it was just sex and we had an NSA relationship and i told her that i would never commit to her. After 10 months of her sleeping at my house almost everyday we stopped talking for 1 month. i actually missed her. i did not sleep with anyone else (which is surprising for me considering my past, but that is another story). i contacted her a month later and we hung out and the first thing i said to her was i missed her and i love her and she replied the same. she always told me that she loved me and wanted to entertain the thought of having a relationship with me. she then came over to sleep over and we had sex. in the morning she acted differently and left early in the morning not her usual routine. i realized something was very wrong.

 

at the end of the week she ended up sleeping with another guy that she works with. i was ok with that cause i felt i pushed her into another guys arms. this has been going on for 4 months now. he is 53. she tells me that i am better than him in every way possible other than he has a better body than me. big deal; i have a good body im just not a work out nut like he is. she is not pretty nor does she have a good body. as a matter of fact her body is ugly but in some sick way i actually love her body and all of her imperfections. i am used to dating model type women and she is far from that. but i love her for what she has inside. i have something with her that i never had with any girl and that is intamacy. we can talk for hours about anything and i dont get bored i just love her that way.

 

after 3 months on this bs of back and forth with him and i and couldnt take it anymore. he had no clue of me for the last 4 months. i went to israel to clear my mind for 30 days. i told her to see him as much as she wanted and to sleep with him as much as she wanted. when i was to return she needed to make up her mind. i told her that i was not going to contact her for 30 days.

 

3 days into my trip she emailed me telling me that she missed me and she loved me and how hard it was for her that i was gone. i made the mistake of emailing her back. we emailed each other back and forth for 10 days and she finally called me there. before she called me she told that she was done with him, that he is boring, that she has no pull or attraction to him. they barely have sex when she is over there. believe me she is a sex fiend. when we are together which is all the time we have sex 3 to 4 times a day. she told me that she wants to be with and only me. i believed her and told her when i return i want the truth about everything and she said fine.

 

she said that she had sex with him 2 days before i returned. i said that is fine but you need to end it with him. she said that she wanted to do it on her time and her way. i said that was not good enough. i then grabbed her phone and called him and left him a message telling him what kind of a person she is. i said things like she slept with me in the morning of her b-day than borrowed money from me for gas to go over to your house and sleep with you and then she returned to my house to sleep with me and slept over.

 

now she says she is done with and wants nothing to do with me. i understand that she is mad for what i did. all i want is to have her back and i think i can in some time.

 

i would like some advice from anyone. please dont tell me to forget about her and let her go. that is not what i want to do or hear. i know all of you will say to leave her and tell her to f**k of but i am crazy about her. all i want to know is how to get her back. as far as i know me calling him ruined anything they had together. so please anyone out there tell me what to do to get her back. i am in a world of hurt and cant function.

 

thanks

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She is a liar, doesn't believe in monogamy, will sleep with anyone (I am sure there are others that you don't know about), who knows what STD she might be infected with, and is just a woman obsessed with sex. What exactly do you love about her...that connection you have with her is simply driven by sex..I bet she has the same kind of "connection" with the other guy..I bet he thinks they really connect on a deeper level than sex...because she is good at faking the other stuff. You should not have contacted the other guy...you should have just walked away from her. She is a train wreck.

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she does not have that connection with the other guy considering she complains to me that he does not want to have sex with her. she doesnt have that conection with him and she says that she bored with him. but there is something about that makes her feel good she tells me. but she rather be with me and yet she chooses to go to his house. i think contacted him was fine considering i have an std and i thought he should know about that

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Know that she will never be faithful to you. Her faithfulness will last until the next conquest appears, regardless of how much she loves you. I know this from experience. So, if you can deal with that, invest more time in her. If not, get out of it. But you don't want to hear that.

 

How do you get her back? Act as blase as she does. It will drive her crazy. Again, I know this from experience. Stop confessing your love with words, do it with actions if you must, but the ONLY way to keep someone like her interested, is to keep her guessing.

 

So you criticize her with words today, then later in the day you do some grand gesture she will like (don't apologize for the criticism, or it will lose its sting.). KEEP HER GUESSING. Get it? It's the only way. She'll be with you forever, because she'll never really have you, in her mind, if she's not sure of how you feel, and she'll stick around for the good moments when you're good to her.

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ive been nothing but good to her. we dont fight or argue. the only fights i have with her is about him and only him. i want her back and i dont know how to keep her guessing. i am losing control and thinkig of ending it cause i am sick of letting girls in to only step on my heart.

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It's easy. Do what I said. Find something that will make her angry. Say it. Later today, be all lovey-dovey and stroke her ego.

 

It works. You cannot let this woman be sure of your feelings. Trust me on this, I'm a woman.

 

It's because you've been nothing but good that she treats you this way. Nothing but good only works on paper. Don't end it, have the experience and love you want from her, but it takes work and some manipulation. It's all in our brains, not our hearts.

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she does not want to talk to me anymore at least for right now. she is really pissed at me. i dont know what to do. i dont want to stalk her cause i dont want to go to jail. i need to leave her alone for a while than call her. i just dont know what to say to her when i do call her.

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what can i say to make her angry or jealous. she has seen women hit on me all the time and it doesnt bother her. i am a very good looking man. i have no problem getting women but i dont want that. as a matter of fact when i met her she hit on me. and when i said i was thinking about ending it i mean ending my life

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she does not have that connection with the other guy considering she complains to me that he does not want to have sex with her. she doesnt have that conection with him and she says that she bored with him. but there is something about that makes her feel good she tells me. but she rather be with me and yet she chooses to go to his house. i think contacted him was fine considering i have an std and i thought he should know about that

 

I bet she is telling the other guy the same thing about you..or claiming there is nobody but him in her life.

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one more thing in the past 4 months i have lost 35 to 40 pounds or 18 kilos due to this situation. i am throwing up everyday and sometimes throwing up blood

 

 

Uhh If you are throwing up blood I don't think that has anything to do with the situation. You really should go see a doctor about that as soon as possible.

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no she is not. he finally found out the truth and the whole truth when i called him. he knew a little about me. im pretty sure he does not care for her like she cares for him. she calls him to see him he does not call her. she is the * * * * that texts dirty things to him and he does not respond in a sexual manner or anything like that. we r both sexually compatible and they are not. she complains to me that he wont touch her. he barely has sex with her and when he does im sorry for saying this he does not reach an orgasm. go figure. this is the truth.

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if anybody want to call me i am i california and maybe i can explain things better in person. my number 310-498-3330. i really need help and apparently my psychiatrists drugs are obviously not helping. so please call if you think you can help or calm me down. i dont want to do anything stupid

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So, she's going after the guy who doesn't want her, right?? What did I say? Do you see what I mean? This woman wants whoever doesn't want her - whoever poses a challenge. Trust me on this.

 

Do NOT call her. let her call you. She sees you as safe. That's not emotionally attractive to her. The other guy, she needs to conquer. You, she has.

 

And yes, get yourself checked out by a doctor! Never let her know the state you're in because of her. T you, she is as disposable as you are to her (even if you die inside).

 

I am only telling you this because you said you want her.

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unfortunately she knows the state im in. i just drove by his house and she is there. so obviously she lied to him. i dont know what she is thinking or him for that matter. i know she likes him way more than he likes her. im done with her at least for right now. no more drive by's i wont call her anymore. let her miss me if she does. and dont worry im not going to end my life although it sounds good. im to much of a coward to do that

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i just bumped into her this morning. we had a good talk and she basically said that she wants to pursue him and not me. she said to me not to call her anymore. we kissed and had sexual contact in the car twice. i reached orgasm twice by her help. she also went on to say that now he is pursuing her harder after this. i told her that he is doing that because he found out about me and now im a threat. i told her you dont like that cause i was the same way with her in the beginnig, once i professed my love for her the conquest for her was over. so now lets see what happens with him. i wont call her any longer and i wont stalk her any longer.

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Like it was said before, this woman is a trainwreck. I know that this is really painful for you, but it is time to cut your losses and and move on. I see that you are doing this, keep it up. We'll be here for you through the break up. Ugh...so sorry!

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