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Staying together a month to decide if we should break up is stressing me out I need advice.


k2ryder

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You can see my other post below to know where I am at. I woke up today and I feel like I should look at things through my partner's eyes and not my own. I should no longer believe in us if he does not. We are supposed to be giving us a month together to try and get past this, but V Day is tomorrow and he works and left for work today without making any plans for tonight to be together. I guess why even give it a month if we are not going to even try to get back on track. I love him, but his words about me and our future together have broken my heart and if this is the inevitable I want to move on now. This is only the morning of day 3 of the "month", but it is very hard on me not being back to us or knowing if we will ever get there or knowing if he will even really go a month. I am starting to feel like he regrets this month decision but feels committed to it. I cant say anything b/c we said we give a break from "talking about a break up". I find myself emotionally distancing myself and I dont know if that is good b/c it might wake him up or bad becasue I shouldnt distance myself -if we said we would give it a month- but heck he is back and forth so why not? I know I should distance myself from it.... work out, see freinds, shop.. but I feel like I am falling in a depression.

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It's that feeling of being stuck on the fence and not having the definite answer that you're trying to discover. Either it is or it ain't, that's my theory. In other words, either we're going to work on things for the better or let me go so that I can be happy. Life is too short for maybe's, so let your yes be yes and your no be no.

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Since he was the one who intended to leave in the first place, I'd ask him to find a temporary place to live and go there as soon as possible.

 

The idea of a separation is to see what living is like without the other and to decide whether or not you'll actually miss him/her after the initial pain wears down.

 

You can't do that in the same house.

 

BF can't cure his depression in a month, and as long as he's viewing you and your relationship through depressed vision, sticking around works against you both.

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