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Hey guys, here's the situation

my gf and I are both early twenties in college. We had been together for about a year breaking up once for a couple weeks after some fights that were a result of my jealousy/being a mean drunk. I got her back for a second chance and promised things would be better and that I would change. Well after 4 months we began arguing and fighting over the same issues, each time Id make empty promises to her that I would be better and things would change. Finally after another fight she called it quits saying that she has to draw the line and thatshe didn't believe that things would ever be different. we shared so many fun times and had so much in common, except that some of my issues would cause grief in the relationship. After the break up I realized I really had to DO something to change. I've already seen a counselor, read multiple books and even started going to church. After our break up I didn't contact her until she texted me one night saying that she felt bad about the way things ended but that she cared about how I felt and thought it was best if we didn't talk for a couple weeks. The next day I responded and said that was fine and that I was doing a lot of stuff for myself an that when wr talked again she would see I was changing. She said she was proud and she wanted me to be happy and after a couple other texts we left it at that. I couldn't resist contacting her so a week later I sent her a message with some small talk and said I hoped she was doing good. She was very friendly and saidthat things were good and we both said we missed each other but she said she thought that this was good for the both of us. I wasn't sure if she meant it as a good break or good that wr were for fir good. I told her again that i was happy and doing a lot of positive things for myself and that she was a big part of my motivation. She said she was happy to hear that and that she was so happy I txted her because even tho we haven't talked she still missed me and thought about me a lot. She said that she wanted to bring by a couple

of my things since she thought i needed them

and I said okay since I figured this would give us a chance to talk

and that I could show her what I've been up to. It's ben a couple days and she hasn't called to stop by yet, I'm going to wait for her to call

but I wanted to get your guys'

advice on what I should be telling her to hope to get her back since I lover andcare about her so much.

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Take your time. Don't push it and don't be impatient.

 

You don't need to tell her anything. You need to show her. And she will be looking for it, so don't go out of your way. Keep taking care of yourself and working on what you want to work on. The situation with your ex GF will take some time. Be prepared for this to stretch weeks or even months.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hey guys just wanted to give an update and get some advice.

So we ended up meeting up one night and exchanged stuff and I poured my heart out to her telling her everything I was doing and how I thought things could work out between us and she was confused about what to do and didn't want to make any decisions. I said I was willing to be patient and that we would talk again and we kind of left it at that.

Almost a week later she texted me and said that she hasn't forgotten about getting back to me and was checking how i was doing so i called her and said to not text me but call me if she wants to talk. We talked for a little but she was busy so I said no big deal well talk later. A few days later I thought about asking her to hang out so we could just have fun and when i did she said that she was going to be busy but wanted to come by that night to finish talking. I was nervous because I figured that she was coming by to basically call it quits for good.

When she came over i was ready for anything and let her talk, all she said was something like 'ive been thinking a lot and i miss you and care about you a lot but all i can say right now is that i just dont think its the right time to jump back into things, theres a feeling in my gut' and i was just like okay then thats fine.

After that we actually had a good time hanging out and we ended up having sex and she stayed until late in the morning.

The next day she was texting me saying thanks for having her over and she had fun and just made small talk. I felt good after that and like things were going well and could work out. So i figured i'd give it some time and ask her to hang out again.

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About a week later I called her and asked her if shed like to hang out and she said that she wanted to but she had a busy week and maybe on the weekend. I said okay well let me know whats best for you. She ended up asking me if we could hang out weds instead and i said yea and i told her i was gunna make dinner and we could maybe do something else. I was thinking she was planning on staying for a while. Well the next day when we were supposed to hang out she txt if we were still on and said to call her so i did. She then began to say that she was gunna come over but only for a couple hours since she was going to go out to a bar with her friends after. i was like * * * , but all i said was maybe we should hang out another time. she said you just wanted to hang out as friends right? and i was like kind of. and then we got into a convo and she just told me that she felt like she wanted to be single. i said it was best if we didnt talk anymore unless she changed her mind and she was sad but agreed

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after ending things nicely over the phone i felt like i took the high road but i ended up deleting her from my facebook just cuz i didnt want to see her * * * * anymore. a couple hours after i did that she was texting me saying "why did you do that" and i never answered and she texted again "im sorry for hurting you like this i hope everything is ok between us" i didnt answer, the next morning she text again "are u mad at me" i didnt answer she texted again " i didnt answer.

 

Since then i haven;t talked to her and dont plan on it unless she contacts me,

what do you guys think

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after ending things nicely over the phone i felt like i took the high road but i ended up deleting her from my facebook just cuz i didnt want to see her * * * * anymore. a couple hours after i did that she was texting me saying "why did you do that" and i never answered and she texted again "im sorry for hurting you like this i hope everything is ok between us" i didnt answer, the next morning she text again "are u mad at me" i didnt answer she texted again " i didnt answer.

 

Since then i haven;t talked to her and dont plan on it unless she contacts me,

what do you guys think

 

It wouldn't hurt to let her know that you aren't 'mad' at her, you just don't want to be reminded of her when you go online.

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Ya, i'm just kind of sick of being so nice to her and being the one to initiate anything during this process. I feel so disrespected that after all i've done she can just blow me off, at this point I don't think she deserves a response and I think I should go NC.

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Bro, you started off bad by constantly asking her to hang out and such, but damn it's good to see you came around and start no contact with her, and see how it's working? Now she's the one initiating activity with you. I was getting the vibe that when you were chasing her, you looked desperate and that turned her away so she started gettin feelings of wanting to be single and going to the bar with friends to meet guys ect. From what it sounds like, she failed at meeting anyone plus you turning off to her is making her regret her decision of leaving you. Keep it up man and who knows, you may get back together or you just might forget about her game-playing ass and find a new adventure to dive into.

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For sure, it's only been a week since I cut her off and I haven't heard from her since those last texts, idk to be honest I hope she comes around but I know I can't count on it, I just keep telling myself she's the one whos missing out because I'm the prize

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so its been over 2 weeks and still haven't heard from her. i've been doing pretty good but im worried that the way i cut her off makes her think i hate her and would prevent her from contacting me again?

 

ive been thinking of just shooting her a text saying that i dont hate her and im not mad about her decision or something like that just to make sure things are okay?

 

some people have said that if she wanted to contact me she still would regardless but i'm having second guesses on that?

 

any advice???

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Guys i could really use some advice on this, sorry if its a long story to read...

 

It's just I feel bad because i wanted to cut her off and make her see what she was missing but I was hoping she would contact and I'm not sure if she hasn't because she doesn't care or because I told her I didn't want to talk to her.

 

She's kind of naive so I feel like maybe she's scared to?

 

But then again, if she really wanted to I guess she would..

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