I have a bad feeling...

[jen83]

I don't know, I don't have any real, solid reason for it, but I just have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. My boyfriend of 8 months and I usually see each other 2-3 times a week. We live 30 minutes apart and usually see each other on the weekends and once during the week. I last saw him in person Monday morning before I left for work--he was asleep though, so I suppose the last time I interacted with him was Sunday. The early days of the week passed and nothing came up about us hanging out. Then on Wednesday, he asks if I want to do something on Saturday because he has other plans on V-Day, I say ok, but I was honestly a little disappointed because it meant we wouldn't see each other during the week when we usually do. I called him on Thursday and he just seemed...weird. He was distant, he didn't really seem incredibly interested or excited to hear from me. (He always seems happy to hear from me!) He is off on Thursdays from work so I don't know what he'd been up too. He mentioned that his band might not practice friday(tonight) and if not, we might be able to hang out. He ended the conversation pretty early. Ok. So today at work, I send him a little text message saying something like "I miss you" (because I haven't seen him in nearly a week now) and he didn't respond all day! He has his phone on him all the time and he has a pretty laid back job, so he's playing on the phone/computer for a lot the day any way. That is weird for him.

 

I know these aren't huge red flags or anything, but it's just not like him at all. He's always happy to hear from me and quick to send me the flirtatious texts and all that. And I'm a little curious as to why we didn't hang out this thursday since that's his day off and we usually hang out wednesday or thursday. Am I being paranoid?

[faithful14]

hmmm.... I'm not sure. It seems too early to tell. I would be weirded out by his behavior too. Wait until he responds or initiates contact with you. I wouldn't do much else. Is there anything big or stressful currently going on in his life?

[Paul 182]

Maybe he wants to make you feel that way. Once, I did that when I wanted to surprise my girl!! Maybe he's planning something big or special and wants you to get really surprised and happy!!

But I could be wrong

[oldenoughtoknow]

It's hard to tell from what you've said. Usually around 6 months to a year, the honeymoon period comes to an end and you get into a routine. But not seeing you on Thursday, being busy on Friday and V-Day, and not returning your text does seem he's backing off rather quickly. Maybe he's just preoccupied with something. I'd talk to him on Saturday to see what's been going on in his life. Then give it some time - maybe a week or so - and see what develops.

[CaptainNapalm]

You two are in a relationship and he told you he has other plans for valentines day? That's a little odd.

[jen83]

Yeah, his band has a gig that day out of town.

[CaptainNapalm]

Yeah, his band has a gig that day out of town.

 

Then why aren't you joining them? I would assume he would invite you especially since it's vday.

[marshmlofluff]

No, you are not being paranoid.

 

My BF would be a little distant (like this) sometimes and I'd feel a little anxious but not show it. Usually about a week later it would turn out there had been other things going on in his life that he hadn't told me about, like a major family crisis or problems with another attorney, because he was trying to deal with them himself. And he would return to normal, and I would breathe a huge sigh of relief.

 

So I was worried but not too worried when for a week or so in January he became distant. I thought maybe something was going on in his life again. I did exactly what you did; sent him an e-mail saying "I miss you." I got a terse reply saying I was sweet but no "I miss you too."

 

Then he dropped the bomb and dumped me. I hope that doesn't happen to you. I wish I had picked up on the signs.