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Should I ask him about this?


KH26

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I might be being stupid and reading too much into this but anyway.

 

I'm not going to see my boyfriend on Valentine's day. It's not something we're overly fussed on doing something for anyway. So we had our own "Valentine's day" yesterday. He said he was taking me out to dinner somewhere nice. I said I'd pay for myself (we usually take it in turns to pay or just pay half each). But he payed for me. Anyway. Earlier in the day we'd been cuddling and he said a lot of things, really touching things, he hasn't said before. He's usually like this, says he loves me and makes sure I know it. But some of the things he said we just... different.

 

So. After the dinner we walked along the beach and he brought up children. Neither of us want children yet. But we've talked about this, sort of joking before, naming our "children" that kind of thing. And he's asked in the past if I do want children then he said he thinks it's important to know that kinda thing when things get serious. But anyway last night when we were walking he asked again if I still want children some day. Then he went on to say he'd love a mini version of me some day. Then he turns round and says "how would you like to be Mrs *his surname*. You're the only person I want to be with". Then stupid me instead of seeing what he meant by this I just said "*my first name* *his surname* sounds quite good doesn't it." Then my phone rang, we kept walking and he didn't say anything else about it because something else came up.

 

I don't know, maybe he's not meaning what I think he's meaning by that, maybe it was just a joke... don't know. Just feel like I brushed this off when he was being serious but really didn't mean to. Should I ask him about it? Or leave it?

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I think you should definitely ask him about it. Not knowing what your boyfriend is like, it's really difficult to tell if it was a flippant passing thought or the serious question - and I imagine if even you can't tell, it must have been pretty ambiguous. If he was serious, the longer you go without mentioning it the more insecure he'll become about ever asking you again. If you do want to marry this guy, or even if you don't, this needs to be addressed. It might be nothing. But I wouldn't risk it.

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I don't think he was formally proposing but he's definitely feeling you out for it. Talk of kids and your name changed to match his last name...He's serious about you.

 

if you feel it's appropriate and you want to, maybe bring it up and tell him you're sorry about the interruption, and you do mean what you said.

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This depends alot on your age, and how ready you are for kids, marriage, etc.

 

I am only 22...my ex 21. We used to talk about how our wedding would be, our honey moon, our kids names, etc. We do want kids eventually in our lives but not at this time because we are so young. These discussions were always very jokingly and alot of times led to very serious and deep conversation about what we each want out of life. In the back of our minds, we knew we weren't going to get married or have kids (at least not at this age) but that was an unspoken fact. This was also in the subconscious so I never thought to think 'Yeah yeah whatever..we really arent getting married.'

 

Its nice when this can be talked about in a relationship and have some serious implications to it. Maybe you can jokingly bring up the topic again when you foresee no interruptions and go with the flow of the conversation. He might be serious about wanting kids and marriage with you, but it doesn't have to necessarily have to mean he is proposing or asking for children right now.

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That's the thing, he isn't the kind of guy to say things like that if he wasn't serious. He said I'm the first person he's said "I love you" to because he finds that kinda thing awkward and will only say things like that if he truly means it.

 

Stupid phone ringing!

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