Teen brother, spiraling down- need advice, help...please

[kbva07]

Let me preface this by saying, I am the oldest of 2 siblings and have always been more of the Mom than our own Mother has been. She's great, fun, etc- but more of a friend, trying to relive her youth- and a recovering alcoholic. I know things could be "worse" when compared to hard core drugs, etc but- this is upsetting either way for me...And I just don't know what to do...

 

My brother, recently turned 18- about to graduate in June, has no direction in life. He does not want to go to college, dropped out of vocational school and spends all of his money on his tattoo in progress and weed. He sits in his room, at my parents house, and smokes pot- sometimes drinks but usually drinks at friends houses, and my mother even allows his "best friend", who is a girl, to sleep over various times a week. (The best friend is an entirely different story but she is an attention seeking, heartless, games playing girl who strings my brother along)

 

My mom is a recovering alcoholic, who has said that my brother reminds her of herself at that age and she is worried, yet she allows of this to happen. He recently hit a pothole, in my car (I am moving home soon and he had use of my car for 6 months) and damaged the tired and rim. Guess who is paying? Dad. Yep. My brother finally got a job in Sept 09 but has 0 savings and my dad even gives him extra money for spending?!

 

He recently lost (like, poof- in thin air- lost) $60.00 and is upset he can't finish his tattoo coloring tomorrow. It is irresponsible and inappropriate behavior especially being that my younger sister is in the house, as well- she is 14. Bad influences everywhere.

 

My parents won't listen to me at all, they hate when I make "judgments" and feel under attack if I criticize even one thing. Even my grandmother and aunt are not allowed to say anything. I fear for my brother- I see him spiraling, quickly...Also, he is often depressed. Many of the kids who I grew up when down the same thing- in the small town where they live- there is nothing to do but drugs and most start off with weed and work their way up. I have two past friends who are heroine addicts and 3 who had OD'd on cocaine before.

 

What can I do, anything? I am trying to just leave it in my parents hands but I feel so helpless... Any advice!?

[rosephase]

Have you told him how you feel?

[kbva07]

Yes, he either laughs at me (bc he is stoned) or he gets super pissed, defensive and mean (just like my mom when confronted with her problems)

 

as the day went on today I calmed down and tried to talk to my dad...he shrugged it off too and said it was my brothers life... i can't do anything about it.. it's just upsetting.